Realisation has set me back, feel dreadful

[stu1973]

6 weeks tomorrow since she ended it, and have been strict NC since.

 

Haven't really improved at all in the intervening time. Even while on holiday, it felt as though she should be there, as it was her environment ( ski-ing ).

 

So I had a long conversation with a female friend today ( who I dated briefly ), initially to hear about her relationship problems, but then we revisited mine.

 

So I told my friend how close we were before my ex went on holiday, how it felt complete, and I thought for the first time in my life I'd found my other half, how we shared identical values, had the same sense of humour, so much in common, and fancied each other like mad. How my ex was looking to buy a flat in my city, and it looked as though we had an exciting future together. I mentioned that my ex went away for a week, and I didn't really make her feel like I'd miss her, and didn't really contact her while she was away. Then she came back, wasn't the same, and announced she was taking a career break to spend a ski season abroad.

 

I told my friend that my ex was super keen on me before she went, and before she went, she reached out a couple of times and maybe I didn't let her know how much I'd miss her even though I was screaming out to inside.

 

I initially thought she might've met someone on holiday, but subsequent conversations made it clear she thought I wasn't really interested, was really hurt at my apparent lack of interest, and that her feelings had changed accordingly. If only we'd chatted, but my friend said that I'm not really that easy to talk to and difficult to open up.

 

So there it is. The final realisation that the best thing that's ever happened to me, and my chance of future happiness has been messed up, by me, and my emotional immaturity

 

I'm in despair, just when I though feeling better was just round the corner.

 

Is strict NC really the way to go in this case? Given that it was lack of communication and apparent disinterest that ruined it?

[Sonicxman]

Stu1973, remember all information or advice you get off this site, even though it's helped me, it's just that "advice". What helps for some doesn't necessarily help for all. I am still on my journey of NC and now LC because of kids, but I wanted to stop the pain, not get back together. I know one thing, you might want to stop talking about her, which only brings up memories of her. Stick in there man and stay positive.

[shessofly]

how does the friend know your ex feels this way? is she friends with her?

[SighSob]

I doubt she changed her feelings because you didn't call her during that week. If she did, and she's older than 13, she has some serious issues.

[jenmar]

People go through life and change.

It is possible that she was thinking of ending things for a while, and when she went a way and had time to think and realize what she wanted in life, she came back and ended it.

 

This has nothing with you not contacting her much while she was gone.

It seems she simply changed her mind, sadly this happens and the other person is blindsided.

 

but realize this, she was not the person for you.. so now I would go strict NC and work on yourself.