fr0z3n Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 It's been 4 weks NC, (broke it 3x but not a big deal)... I didnt know that I can survive this, Im feeling better but still there are times that I think of her and feel down... Earlier this day, I accidentally bumped into her while walking... I didnt notice her at first but I know thats her and my body also reacted wierdly, I suddenly stopped and her friend looked at me and thats the only time I looked at her and it seems like in my mind, I am shocked upon seeing her. I dont know but it's hard to at least smile at her, I also made a step towards her, like my body reacted like I wanted to talk to her but in my mind I know I dont have anything to say and it seems it's not good on her part to see me, I cant interpret the look on her face, it seems like she's also shocked but it also seems like it's irritating for her to see me. Thank god, Ive managed to think clearly and turned my back and continued walking. Its really hard seeing her even though this past few weeks Ive been simulating in my mind what will I do if it will happen that I will see her, but earlier this day, my mind went blank after seeing her... Im feeling much better this past few weeks, Ive been feeling down sometimes especially now... I dont know but theres a part of me which telling me that Ive had enough of her and theres also a part of me which wanted to be with her no matter how she treated me while Im with her. She's too independent, has so much pride, preferred lying to me than telling what she's really upto... I feel that I gave my best for her but she didnt appreciated it but still I wanted to be with her but I also feel some anger towards her... Another effing day... Link to comment
Fredos.Princez Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 If you didn't do anything to her and she's the one that messed up then you have absolutley nothing on your mind. She messed up not you Link to comment
epson391 Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 Im the same way, when I ran into her I didnt know how to act. Just be cool and carry on your way. NC its the best! Link to comment
fr0z3n Posted April 16, 2010 Author Share Posted April 16, 2010 Thanks guys... I'm still doing NC, I have already deleted her number and I didnt memorized it thats why NC is my only choice... Its so hard trying to understand her while she is breaking up with me, lots of contradicting thoughts from her, excuses that didnt match well and other vague excuses... It seems she's not happy anymore and wanted to experience the so called "life" without me by her side thats why I accepted the break up... This past few weeks, Ive been thinking that I might run into her and also a part of me wanted to see her, after what happened I guess running into an ex wont change anything, it will just remind me of this suffering that she gave me... Link to comment
nasdaq Posted April 17, 2010 Share Posted April 17, 2010 I know what you mean by running into them and don't know what to do. Every time that I think i'm ready for it, when I see him my body tenses up. Do NC for a while, it gives you both some time to cool off. Eventually things might work out in the future, you just have to keep your head up and try to keep her out of your mind (I know how hard that is!) Link to comment
fr0z3n Posted April 17, 2010 Author Share Posted April 17, 2010 thanks nasdaq... it's a relief knowing that some people out there also experienced what I am experiencing now. I think my body also tensed up upon seeing her, it's some sort of adrenaline rush and the only thing that I can see is her (but a bit blurred), my body is reacting in a weird way like my body turned to her and my foot stepped towards her but on my mind, I want to turn around again and continue walking going to the place that I supposedly go.... My feelings are also messed up, I dont know if Im feeling happy or angry or sad upon seeing her, it's like I really loved this girl and Im glad I saw her again, but angry because of what she have done to me and sad because I wont be with her this time... Link to comment
hope90 Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Heyy fr0z3n, I comepletly understand what you are going through. I saw my ex-boyfriend like 3 weeks ago and I like didnt know what to do; I was so confused. I made a mistake by going up to him, but I couldnt hold back and talking to him was kinda pointless, eventhough, it really showed that he wanted me as badly as I did. But things just didnt work out and I still care about him, but honestly you just have to not think anything of it and just move on.. You made a great decesion by not talking to her.. just have fun.. go party!! lol.. It's her fault she broke up to her.. prove to her that u dont need her; show her that you are independent too. =) Link to comment
fr0z3n Posted April 20, 2010 Author Share Posted April 20, 2010 Thanks hope... Im glad I really did not talking to her because I know in my mind that it;s pointless anymore, we're not together anymore and I dont want to talk just like a friend, it will be very more awkward than not talking to her... Its a very good thing that my cousin asked me to help him buy and build a new PC for him... This past few weeks, Ive been trying to do my best where I can utilize my skills and talents and focusing on my hobbies (that I sacrificed just to be with her)... Link to comment
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