fr0z3n Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 It's been 4 weks NC, (broke it 3x but not a big deal)... I didnt know that I can survive this, Im feeling better but still there are times that I think of her and feel down... Earlier this day, I accidentally bumped into her while walking... I didnt notice her at first but I know thats her and my body also reacted wierdly, I suddenly stopped and her friend looked at me and thats the only time I looked at her and it seems like in my mind, I am shocked upon seeing her. I dont know but it's hard to at least smile at her, I also made a step towards her, like my body reacted like I wanted to talk to her but in my mind I know I dont have anything to say and it seems it's not good on her part to see me, I cant interpret the look on her face, it seems like she's also shocked but it also seems like it's irritating for her to see me. Thank god, Ive managed to think clearly and turned my back and continued walking. Its really hard seeing her even though this past few weeks Ive been simulating in my mind what will I do if it will happen that I will see her, but earlier this day, my mind went blank after seeing her... Im feeling much better this past few weeks, Ive been feeling down sometimes especially now... I dont know but theres a part of me which telling me that Ive had enough of her and theres also a part of me which wanted to be with her no matter how she treated me while Im with her. She's too independent, has so much pride, preferred lying to me than telling what she's really upto... I feel that I gave my best for her but she didnt appreciated it but still I wanted to be with her but I also feel some anger towards her... Another effing day... Link to comment
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