permanent damage

[Syn77]

so my ex and i havent really broken up due to the fact that we still hang out talk and act like we are dating. lately we've been fighting a lot and yesterday didnt help at all. we had a chance of getting back together but i do stupid stuff like i say and do stupid things. Not cheat on her or anything like that.i i just dont think before i speak. Yesterday she was at my house to help me study. She's never done it before and she wanted to give it a try. I personally don't like to be tested and quizzed by someone else but anyway i was just in a bad mood and she kept asking me questions to help me but all i could say was i dunno i dunno and i got so angry... not with her but at myself. I can become a hot head and release anger in a bad way. I started yelling, giving her sarcastic remarks and it just grew and i started breaking things. She left and i needed to cool off. I felt really bad and stupid. I called her today to apologize but she had nothing good to tell me. She said she lost every little bit of interest and romantic feelings she had left since we broke up.

 

I feel like total crap and i know i deserve it for throwing a temper tantrum. Theres more to it but its real personal. I wasnt mad at her but at myself and because i acted so immature i'm losing the girl i care about with all my heart.

 

Is there anything i can do to get her back? I regret everything i did. I probably dont deserve to get her back but shes means so much to me and is a big part of my life. I have to get her back. This isnt the first time ive thrown a fit and had her threaten to never be with me again but this maybe the last straw. Oh and i know i know... i need to grow up

[eggplant47]

I'm sorry... but I would've been outta there too. My main concern would be that destructive behavior would likely lead to violent behavior. Basically, when a guy starts to break things, he is clearly out of control- so who knows what he might do next?

 

Whether your girlfriend comes back or not, I think you might benefit from some anger managment therapy.

[kalaidoscopic]

I'm sorry, man, but she's gone. If getting mad over nothing like that is something you do often, you can't expect her to deal with that, that's not fair. She wouldn't have said 'i have lost all feelings for you' if she hadn't, really, lost ALL feelings for you. No more of this 'i HAVE to get her back' stuff, she is not a possession to be won and lost. She has made her decision and you have to respect that.

I have recently been through a breakup where my boyfriend (who was bordering on psychologically abusive) promised over and over again to fix his behavior and DIDN'T, and last week i packed my bags and left and now he's calling constantly begging me to come back, and so I know what you and your ex are going through. I ask you, is it so difficult to understand that when it has got to that point, no matter how much you may regret what you did, it is too late? And why oh why did you not fix this problem when it first became a problem?? If you want a relationship to work, it is SO important to put your heart and soul and EVERY EFFORT into it. It is too late for you and your ex, but you need to learn from this for the future.

This advice may sound harsh but it is what you need to hear. You may hate me now but one day you'll know i was right!

[geekgirl4]

You understand that the problem comes from you (not being able to control your anger). If you want anything to change, particularly with your ex, you have to work on yourself first. I think taking anger management classes or therapy is a really good idea. Throwing things leads to violence if you continue. People roll their eyes at therapy but honestly, therapists pick out and ask the questions that you need to hear and to answer. Do this will go a long way to understanding yourself and to figure out how to prevent getting out of control when the anger comes. If you're dedicated in becoming a better person, take the steps.

[MikNomis]

That type of behavior is extremely unattractive, so expect the worse: That she will not come back. With that in mind, do apologize to her but don't ask her to come back to you. Just tell her you will fix your problems and sorry for the way you were to her.

 

It sounds like you know you have anger issues but either aren't doing anything about it or too weak to control it. You better do something about soon though, or you may drive everyone away from you.