prada Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 Hey guys, Ive been On ENA a while now, and it has helped me alot with keeping strong. But i wanted to share my entire story and get somewhat of a detailed opinion to whether my decisions are leading me to recovery. My ex and i have been together for about 4 yrs. And he broke it of with me, but after that we have been on and off for a couple months. He wanted to be free and i wanted commitment. Its been hard but i always tried my best to make it work. So after trying i guess he realised he just didnt want me back again. CUz for sure he had someone else. I called him up one day and he told me to never call him back and to move on with my life, couple DAYS after i heard he was already with someone else!!! SO im sure he was with her while we were on our ON AND OFF situation. NOw after telling me never to call back, i NEVER did, but i didnt move on fully. Since that day i WENT strict NC (even though i didnt even know anything about NC back then) i know it was to never talk to him again. So i didnt. We were on nc for about 9 months till he called and stupid me answered, but he didnt show his # but i never answer private calls but somehow i did! it was him., calling to say HI! but guess what, after talking to him for about 2 hrs. he never called back. And that phone call, gave me some hope thinking, we can be lovers again! after he didnt call i realised we are nothing and will never be. so now its about 10 months. I finally decide to get rid of his letters and cards? what do you guys think? you can be harsh with the comments, i guess i am at a point i feel sooooooooo hurt being left for someone else. i feel like a fool, low self esteem etc etc. the whole yard! And i heard a rumour he was getting engaged, didnt here anything about that since so im not sure if they did or not. Tonite I am finally getting rid of everything. ALl the cards and letters he ever gave me, Will this help me further with moving on. I hate being like this. I try to be strong.. but in the end,. I always end up hurt being left in the dark. comments? plz... where do i go from here? I know i have to stick to NC but what will that do? i want him to miss me someday. WHAT WHAT! im turning pshyco! im thinking......... throw these letters or keep them? i want and need to get past this! i want to be happy again, i want to be with someone who loves me. why is it so hard to tear these letters and get it inthe garbage??? Link to comment
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