Question for those who have reconciled with ex

[cherryberry123]

I've read some posts about people getting back together with an ex, but I would like to know how it happened!

 

Please state:

-If you were the dumpee/dumper

-How long you guys were broken up

-If you guys remained in contact even after the breakup.. or if you were on NC basis, who initiated the contact (ie. Who emailed/texted/called first)

-Did you guys set a meeting up for coffee?

-Did you guys contact eachother as friends occasionally and eventually got close ?

 

Would love to know your stories.

[Mauxly]

Please state:

-If you were the dumpee/dumper

Dumper, but he cheated...so...really...did I have a choice?

 

-How long you guys were broken up

4 months.

 

-If you guys remained in contact even after the breakup.. or if you were on NC basis, who initiated the contact (ie. Who emailed/texted/called first)

NC. We ran into each other and I held out the peace pipe, no intention of reconciling, but then it just happened.

 

-Did you guys set a meeting up for coffee?

Had a pint together.

 

-Did you guys contact eachother as friends occasionally and eventually got close ?

Nope.

 

But it didn't work out. He put a lot of effort into the relationship in the beginning. I thought he was a changed man. 90 days in and he became the same old jerk that he was right before he cheated on me the last time. He broke up with me before I could break up with him, but we wouldn't have lasted. I'm pretty sure he broke up with me because his season was starting and he knew was about to be sandblasted with pootang (his job..), he didn't want to miss that party...ugh....

[BCC123]

-If you were the dumpee/dumper

i was the dumpee i was heartbroken and begged for him back

-How long you guys were broken up

we were broken up for over a year and a half. almost 2

-If you guys remained in contact even after the breakup.. or if you were on NC basis, who initiated the contact (ie. Who emailed/texted/called first)

the only time we were nc was immediately after the breakup. that was for about a month. we ran into each other a month after and kept in contact every since. mostly id wait for him to iniate contact. he couldnt go for more than 2 weeks without hearing from me and since he dumped me, i waited for him to text or call me usually. sometimes id iniate but rarely

-Did you guys set a meeting up for coffee?

we went out to lunch alot, had sex, he spent the night even sometimes, he'd come hang out with my friends. we'd hang out on average like once a week to every two weeks. i was crazy about him and he knew it but he couldnt commit. once in a while we'd hang out every day like when we were dating and get really close to getting back together (or so i thought ) then he'd disappear again.

-Did you guys contact eachother as friends occasionally and eventually got close ?

pretty much what i just explained. that went on for 2 years. i couldnt take it anymore so i moved to cali. he cried with me the night before i left. i told him i couldnt be here. where everything reminds me of him and i get a little tast of him but not the full thing. it killed. it was painful. so i left for a year. we still talked but i had boyfriends and tried to ignore him but i couldnt for too long. id break. i eventually came back and we acted like we were together and finally got back together in november and we've been together and happy ever since. there are still little problems here and there but its just me being a female i guess. my story is different. i always knew in my heart that we'd be together. no one treated him like i did. no one cared more for him besides his mom than i did. we just belong together and u could feel it. not because i just wanted to be together again but because i just felt it. i just knew.

[cherryberry123]

we just belong together and u could feel it. not because i just wanted to be together again but because i just felt it. i just knew.[/b]

 

I love the last few sentences, it gave me butterflies. lol

 

"I just knew"

 

Sometimes I feel like that with this certain ex of mine. I just hope it's true

[brandnewday47]

I love the last few sentences, it gave me butterflies. lol

 

"I just knew"

 

Sometimes I feel like that with this certain ex of mine. I just hope it's true

 

 

Same here. I'm about 5 months out of the initial breakup, three since we behaved broken up. There are days I feel like somehow someway "i just know", days (like this last week) where I feel we will never even be civil, and then days where i know that I'll be ok with things regardless and be thankful for the time we shared. The trend from here seems to be that when two people try again, there needs to be some significant time apart. The funny thing is I thought that like a switch when the winter ended, like the weather I'd be in a much warmer place. The way things are going it may take all year! lol

 

Sorry for the semi-hijack... there are many times I have this feeling, and sometimes no matter what we do we just leave to the cosmos to take care of what we cannot control, and do the absolute best for what we can.

[woodc5]

You know, I've felt this "I just know feeling" in my gut, too. Even after we broke up she told me more than once, "We are going to end up together. This is just a road bump." Oh, and the classic.. "I know I'm going to marry you. When I look at my future, I always see it with you." Hopefully she figures things out. I've read how it's unhealthy to have that "gut" feeling because it holds a piece of them to you, but I can't make it go away. Very confusing..

[coolchick64]

-If you were the dumpee/dumper

 

I was the dumpee and he cheated

 

-How long you guys were broken up

 

3 months

 

-If you guys remained in contact even after the breakup.. or if you were on NC basis, who initiated the contact (ie. Who emailed/texted/called first)

 

I never contacted him, but I responded to most of his contacts--"in kind" responses. Like if he wrote, "Thought of you today. Hope you're well" I'd write back and say, "same to you"

 

-Did you guys set a meeting up for coffee?

 

Yes, he initiated three meet-ups and I went.

 

-Did you guys contact eachother as friends occasionally and eventually got close ?

 

No, it wasn't like that because I wasn't interested in being his friend. I eventually told him that we had said all there was to say and I wasn't interested in further contact unless he wanted to reconcile. We had about two weeks of NC at that point and the next thing I heard was "I want you back." We've been together ever since (6 months now) and it's going great. : )

[GenoGeno]

I like this thread

 

 

-If you were the dumpee/dumper

I was the dumpee it hurt a lot at the time.

 

-How long you guys were broken up

We were broken up for a bit longer than a month

 

-If you guys remained in contact even after the breakup.. or if you were on NC basis, who initiated the contact (ie. Who emailed/texted/called first)

I literally went against every rule there is...and begged and pleaded for a month we even fought with each other when broken up because i annoyed her by always asking to see her.

 

-Did you guys set a meeting up for coffee?

She agreed to meet up with me...but said she didn't know how she felt...so don't get my hopes up. (We are kind of long distance too, it's about an hour away so she would never see me at parties or anything.) Anyways she was cold when we met up and it wasn't what i wanted at all....but then it went another two weeks of me pursuing and the next time I went up that way to see her it was a little better and we got back together.

 

-Did you guys contact eachother as friends occasionally and eventually got close ?

Yes the whole time, but now I'm back to where I was before and this time we've been broken up 2 months now today...so things are looking a little more grim because she's very stern with her answer she doesn't feel the same anymore. So I've gone NIC and that's my story thus far....I'd love her back again though.

[cherryberry123]

I'm assuming you eventually got her back by pleading? She may have felt pressured to get back together with you since you kept pursuing her.

Remain in NC and stay strong.

It's painful to hear when someone has lost their feelings, I know the pain.

I stopped contacting my ex after chasing him for 4 months...even though his feelings has dissipated. What eventually made me stop contacting him was after a terrible experience.

After 2 months, he contacted me out of the blue asking how I've been. I started overanalyzing everything he said and did. He posted a picture of the teddy bear I gave him on facebook! How confusing is that?! He told me to move on since his feelings are gone and he was starting to see someone new...I was kinda angry.

[GenoGeno]

Well i think she still cared a lot for me at that time but knew it wasn't good for her health since i was pretty draining with her. She always said....I think everything will be okay but I don't know for sure...It ended up being okay and then i messed up again. I think i need this time as weird as that sounds to ever actually have a proper relationship with her again. The bigger the gap the better chance you have at making things perfect if you ever do get back with the one you loved and i do believe that. It's just a balancing act of when is to long and they will be gone forever.

[uncomfynumb]

Without listing all the details, whether I was the dumper or the dumpee, I have gotten back with everyone of my exes at least once save two; The LDR and the most recent.

 

Obviously, none of them lasted but I did stay friends with a few before the reconciliation and after it was all over.

 

I don't think I will be reconciling with my latest ex either. I have not closed the door on that entirely but I am going to start dating again within the next month and being that I am a great gal, and a great catch I imagine that I am going to get scooped up really fast!

[marshmlofluff]

Without listing all the details, whether I was the dumper or the dumpee, I have gotten back with everyone of my exes at least once save two; The LDR and the most recent.

 

Uncomfynumb, just curious...what do you think made this ex different than all the rest?

[uncomfynumb]

Uncomfynumb, just curious...what do you think made this ex different than all the rest?

 

When I said all my exes came back or I went back, we are really talking about 5 men that I have had serious relationships with from the age of 17 through the age of 42.

 

That said, it's not that he is all that different than all the rest it is that I have changed and grown a lot over the years and with this last one, I chose to close the door on friendship until after I have moved on. This is something that I've never done before.

 

I am also to the point in my life where I want to settle down with one man. Looking back, being friends has not really benefited me in the way that I was hoping. Again, all my exes are still exes. There is one in paricular that might have eventually worked out but he passed away from cancer at the age of 37.

[marshmlofluff]

That said, it's not that he is all that different than all the rest it is that I have changed and grown a lot over the years and with this last one, I chose to close the door on friendship until after I have moved on. This is something that I've never done before.

 

Same. It is the first time I have closed the door immediately and entirely. It feels very...weird, and very different, and a lot harsher than other endings. I am not sure whether the strict NC made things easier or harder to deal with. I think in the beginning, it helped, but now it makes me miss him a bit as a friend so the tail end is harder.

 

My first ex is my best friend, but in retrospect the process of getting to that was not good for me, and I don't have any interest in doing it again.

[uncomfynumb]

Fluff,

 

I am certain that I've done the right thing for me. I'm not sure anymore if I believe the reason for the breakup; that he has issues or that I have issues but whatever, he chose to end and in that way alone, we are incompatible. Because I don't want anyone that can jump ship that easily with me. And at my age, I don't have time or patience to train them or coax them out of their shells.

 

My ex was special to me and was probably one of the best men that I have ever dated but hey, maybe the next one will be even better than him?

[marshmlofluff]

My ex was special to me and was probably one of the best men that I have ever dated but hey, maybe the next one will be even better than him?

 

Sure! I was very fond of Joe, and despite being a little...weird, he was my favorite of all the men I've ever dated.

 

But the next guy who came along (who knows where that is going) is really much better, and is much nicer to me.

[uncomfynumb]

Sure! I was very fond of Joe, and despite being a little...weird, he was my favorite of all the men I've ever dated.

 

But the next guy who came along (who knows where that is going) is really much better, and is much nicer to me.

 

You go girl! I'm looking forward to meeting my guy soon. My coming back out party is less than a month away! Yippee!

[GenoGeno]

Could be better for all you guys know!