Broke Up Over Facebook and A Nickname

[happyhands]

My boyfriend and I broke up the night before yesterday. I'm not sure if it's for real, but I'm feeling scared and heartbroken. We broke up because we fought for two whole days through texts about how I think he must be ashamed of me and our relationship because he refused to put up facebook pictures of us one year ago and I BEGGED him and fought with him for a whole year, before he finally made an album for us but only put up four pictures. And we are going out for almost four years.

 

I fought with him these last few days about how I have been such a fool because I have to fight with him on such standard things that belong in a relationship like being proud to put up pictures and not only that, but I waited for a year and a half now after he made his facebook to see if he would send me a relationship request, because I would have sent him one in a heartbeat, but wanted to see if he would. He NEVER did. He just left the relationship part blank and puts tons of information about himself on his profile. Then when I recently said I wanted to have our relationship statuses up and if he would request me he Yelled at me and Refused to and told me that I SHOULD SEND HIM THE REQUEST if I want that.

 

Another thing is he hardly WROTE to me on facebook or LOOKED at my profile which I told him for a year now that I find not normal that he doesn't feel like looking at my profile or writing lovingly to me on facebook. His excuse for all of this is that it's nobody's business and thats not the kind of guy he is. BUT he changes his status on facebook sometimes twice a day and goes on facebook very, very often. Sometimes his status is about something the two of us did and he doesn't mention me or about something I asked him to join me for like a dance class and he writes he went to a dance class and has always avoided including ME in his statuses, except for one time when I said hey why don't u write on ur status we just saw the worst movie ever together. That was the first time he did put me in his status but I caught him on a VERY good mood. He has also uploaded OTHER photos and made three other albums since the making of our album and although there are only like four photos in each album (not a lot), out of those photos, three of them are pictures of guy friends and one of just himself. The others are just like funny signs he saw at stores. He also changes his profile pic fairly often. So I don't know what that is all about...

 

I myself haven't put up any pictures of him and he pointed that out and said after he put four up, why didn't I put any up. I told him that because it was so awful that I had to actually beg and fight with him for four photos on facebook that once he did it, I just felt ashamed and stupid that our long relationship meant four photos to him. I didn't want to put any up because I didn't want to reward him for showing me in so many ways how little he thinks of me and our relationship because had I put pictures up, I would have put up TONS of photos to show I care and like US. And I didn't put any up before that for the same reason. Because I knew that if there was no shot of him putting up any himself, I didn't want to put up photos and look like the only one INTO the relationship and the only one proud enough to show it off.

 

I told him that it would make me happy if he was more facebook public about us and that I kinda find all these actions weird, but he just tells me he thinks our relationship is no one's business. I didn't know what to think anymore so I got fed up these last two days and took a stand about it saying those things, though they seem trivial to him and almost ridiculous, are important and show me how much he cares. But he thinks its sick that I "NEED" facebook publicity.

 

Not to mention the OTHER thing we have been fighting about for the past two days is that I asked him to call me "baby" sometimes because we have danced around NOT using that word for four years now and I thought it was time we finally could, but the catch is that it used to be the name he and his ex called each other all the time instead of their real names. But just the other day he told me he would sooner call me her real name than call me baby because he thinks of her with that word. And I just CANNOT see how he could actually tell me that if he transfers the word to me it won't be special anymore. He told me that this baby thing is the biggest thing I have ever asked him to do. This hurt my feelings because wow, out of anything else I've asked him to do for me that pertains to OUR relationship, the hardest thing for him to do has to do with his OTHER relationship.

 

He has used every excuse in the book and some of his points of argument become so ridiculous because he knows I am proving him wrong and so he walks away from the conversation. Some of the things he has said to me regarding this just frighten me. I pointed out that he hasn't used baby on her in years, that he doesn't call her baby to me when discussing her or his friends because that would be NUTS and that its a PET NAME though he refuses to believe it's a pet name and was created OUT OF LOVE. He keeps telling me it's her name to him and always will be and I keep saying the name was created out of love and if it's still her name to him then he has a problem.

 

The reason I told him I'm breaking up with him is because these little things to me mean so much more and are displaying just how important his past is that it rules over our progression and his mentality scares me. I told him he must not be over her or over the break up of that relationship or something because the word weighs such great importance and STILL makes him think of her after being with me for so many years. And as for the facebook thing, he started trying to compromise and said well you can have one or the other: photos or baby. And I told him it's sad that he has to compromise on those tiny things which I believe are standard in a relationship and how can I expect him to do bigger things for me in the future. He says he won't "give me what I want" because I'm an "only child" and I whine til I get what I want and that I just want attention. That is how he views me.

 

So basically I'm heartbroken because I feel like I have invested so much in the relationship and worked at it and he hasn't really lifted a finger. He can't even talk about the future with me and see a future with me when I try to with him. He has always thought we are doomed and hasn't worked at our problems with me but ran away when I confront him or try to discuss things. He puts the blame on me no matter what and doesn't think he might be wrong about something. I told him that when in a relationship, the couple is supposed to believe in each other and believe they will have a future together. He doesn't get it. I told him I think he has been coasting with me because I happen to be here right now and that he doesn't care about my feelings or about fixing our problems and doesn't care what awful things he says to me or names he calls me because it doesn't matter to him since he believes we won't be together in the end.

 

I finally might have become a bit harsh when we were texting and I told him I could easily find a guy who would be able to do those simple things. He said that he is not any guy and I will never find one like him again. He told me to go find him and he wishes me luck. So I said "I will." He told me after all the talking we did in text the other night that I have convinced him of the break-up and he said goodbye to me in text so I did the same.

 

The next day, I went on facebook (yesterday) and saw that he put up a new status that said "I am sad". And people have been commenting like crazy. I wonder what the purpose of that status was. For attention from his friends, from me? I don't know what to think of this whole situation but I am very upset and I just wanted to be in a free, unrestricted, Progressive, futuristic, public and private, HEALTHY type of relationship with him with no issues from his past.

 

Tell me what you think. I would love to hear opinions, thoughts, etc. Thank you

[iBroken]

Facebook is the devil.....

 

I didnt read your entire post - you lost me at being upset about his status update about going to dance class......

 

You seem insecure (sorry to say). I get the impression that you have this need for his friends to know he is in a relationship with you. Why is this there if you guys have been together for four years?

 

I have updated my status to say that I was doing something or did something with my partner, and I would omit my partner from the update. Its not the worlds business.

 

How old are you guys?

 

Edit: Im on board with your BF about the nickname....you cant force him to call you baby if he called his ex that....and to be honest, why would you? Why not something a bit more catered between the two of you?

[LazyDaisy]

Why are you living your life through Facebook? Why are you so concerned about how your relationship looks on a public forum? Isn't what really matters how you two treat eachother in person?

[metrogirl]

I agree with LazyDaisy....

 

Your post screams "I need to be validated and acknowledged by hundreds if not thousands of people."

 

Honestly, it makes you look really really insecure.

 

When I see people on facebook with their posts back and forth and coochie coo, I love you, I think to myself, what the hell for?

[Doc Blaze]

fb is overrated..me and my gf dont have pics of each other together as the main pic...she has it of her and her girls and i have one of either me and the guys or my car....doesnt me she doesnt love me..to tell you the truth im glad she is obsessed with fb..makes life alot easier..she told me she doesnt look at my pics either because she doesnt want to come to a conclusion on things from my past that she has no idea bout....

[Cognitive_Canine]

Honestly, why are you putting so much stock into facebook. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Never put up a picture of him. He's never put up one of me. And I don't recall ever writing on his wall. Why would I? I talk to him everyday. If not for a big upheaving from our friends, we'd probably take down our relationship status' too.

 

Honestly, I think you have some security issues to work through. You've been together for 4 years and this is what you guys are fighting about?

[LoveSoDeep]

The bottom line is these are big things to you and it bothers you that they seem unimportant to him and if he's not willing to change then you're better off finding someone who wants what you want. I know it may seem like small things but if after this long these small things bother you and he isn't willing to change...Well then, I think you did the right thing.

 

I totally agree with you. I have a friend who is the same way about his GF he never posts anything there aren't any real public pictures of the two of them. He went so far as make everything in his profile viewable only to him and yet she just continues on posting stuff about him on her profile and using pics of them together as her profile pic...He's just a very private person and she is obviously not...and truthfully I just don't see how the two of them are really compatible. I really think someday the exact same tihng that happened to you will happen to them.

[turnera]

Your relationship should be just that - a relationship.

 

Not a status quo or a one-up on FB. FB should have nothing to do with whether you should be together. Making it so cheapens your relationship.

 

Seriously, you FIGHT via texts? What kind of relationship can you have if you don't even speak to each other about the most important things going on?

 

If he didn't want to make an album, it is not your place to MAKE him do so. Could it be because he wants to look single? Maybe. Maybe it's something else. If you were not Love Busting him and you were meeting all his Emotional Needs - i.e. being everything he ever wanted in a girl - he would be jumping through hoops to please you.

 

Instead, you berate him, nag him, fight with him...to get what YOU want. Why on earth would he even want to do anything to please you? What are you offering him?

 

Your opinion about how he should be proud to put up pictures is just that - YOUR opinion. By fighting with him, you are telling him that what HE thinks is wrong, what YOU think is right, and he'd better start thinking like you, or else you're going to make life miserable. Does that make sense?

 

You think he should 'write lovingly' to you on FB. In other words, you want him to do what YOU want so you can show off to anyone else looking at your profile that you have a man falling all over himself in love with you. What does that have to do with whether you and he are in love? That is a tool you are using to stroke your own ego. It has nothing to do with him, or loving him, or even pleasing him. I'm not surprised he refused; your actions sound incredibly shallow and self-serving. Maybe you're just venting and you DO do a lot to make him happy, but it doesn't sound like it.

 

He told you it's nobody's business if he loves you. Why are you unwilling to accept HIS feelings?

 

And then you punish him by not putting pictures of him up. Boy, you showed him, didn't you?! What does such an act have to do with a loving relationship?

 

You said you felt ashamed and stupid that our long relationship meant four photos to him, but that's not the real truth. The real truth is that "I didn't want to reward him for showing me in so many ways how little he thinks of me and our relationship." Also that you are worried, once again, about what everyone else thinks and that they will think you are too into him and you'll be shamed if he isn't just as much into you. Again, what does everyone else's opinion have to do with a loving relationship?

 

But he thinks its sick that I "NEED" facebook publicity.

He is giving you valuable information here.

 

And then you want him to call you 'baby' so that he will PROVE to you that he loves YOU more than his EX. Don't you think he sees the manipulation in that? No wonder he refuses. You are treating him like a pet.

 

And I just CANNOT see how he could actually tell me that if he transfers the word to me it won't be special anymore.

Again, you are discounting HIS FEELINGS. You are saying that what HE feels, believes, is wrong or stupid. He should think how YOU think, and then everything would be fine. Why?

 

Would you expect him to take their 'song' (if they have one) and now co-opt it to become YOUR song? What's the difference?

 

You worry that he isn't over his past relationship, so I'll ask you: when he compares the two of you, what does he see?

 

He says he won't "give me what I want" because I'm an "only child" and I whine til I get what I want and that I just want attention. That is how he views me.

I have to say that from what you write, he is more likely to have the right handle on the situation. Of course, what really matters is whether you two even care about each other. You sound like you care more about getting things your way, than about having a partner who is loved and treated well - just because you love him. I've no doubt he's thinking the same things about now.

 

Does he have issues? Of course. We all do. But what matters is whether you work on them together, as help-mates, or as adversaries. You obviously have chosen the latter. Why would he want to continue to participate in that?

[Doc Blaze]

Honestly, why are you putting so much stock into facebook. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. Never put up a picture of him. He's never put up one of me. And I don't recall ever writing on his wall. Why would I? I talk to him everyday. If not for a big upheaving from our friends, we'd probably take down our relationship status' too.

 

Honestly, I think you have some security issues to work through. You've been together for 4 years and this is what you guys are fighting about?

 

^^ this i feel dumb writing comments when i can just call or, sometimes i post funny videos for her to watch or inside jokes..but i rarely comment on her page...maybe a like status once in a while

[Cognitive_Canine]

Honestly, I feel like it cheapens the relationship. You put things on facebook so that the WORLD knows. I don't want everyone I've ever met viewing my personal life and relationships. Posting on a wall rather than just calling or waiting until you are face to face is more of an announcement to the world rather than actual communication to your boyfriend. This is the same reason I dislike PDA.

 

Maybe I'll like a status or say a witty comment in response to another post or status. But, it's not real communication.

 

Also, don't fight over text or IM. You are just asking for misunderstandings.

[abitbroken]

If he sees you in person, he doesn't need to talk to you on Facebook. I am really only friends with people on Facebook that I don't see that often so I can keep in touch with them.

 

Also, about the "baby" thing - I asked my BF not to call be "dear" because my first boyfriend called me that.

 

I agree that it seems like you broke up over your need to be validated. Personally, I would base my relationship on how he treated me in person.

[Mimori]

My fiancé and I use facebook all the time to communicate short messages to each other, usually the very ones metrogirl claims as practically pointless. We don’t do it validate our relationship. But with school, the distance, etc it makes it easier to leave those “dorky” comments not needed to text/or call to say all the time. We call each other when we have the chance, but with us both in college time is pressing even when finals are around. It helps allow us to communicate when times are busy, and to know that we’re thinking about each other often. By no means, do I set standards on how we portray our relationship on there, but it’s for us both to talk…we could care less what our friends thought about our conversations. If they mind them, ignore them.

 

Facebook and myspace are expressions of a person themselves. Their significant other doesn’t HAVE to be the focus of their life. If they want to remain as individual and allowed the relationship to only be truly noticed by the person it matters to (their significant other) that’s their prerogative. If they want to share their love and shout it off to the mountains…that’s their prerogative as well. We all have different ways of expressing ourselves and what matters to us. Some of us use myspace and facebook to express ourselves in that manner; others don’t mind it so much and use it to express themselves in a more individual light.

 

Affection and attention matters only to those involved. If you’re bothered by something, try and think rationally why you’re bothered. Is it really that troublesome he doesn’t find it important to put a picture of you on facebook? Does he truly need an album to prove he loves you? Does he really need his status’ to focus on you only? Now granted, you have a valid point that you want for him to be the opposite of the individual and to “show” the world how much he cares for you… Guys aren’t all like that; they don’t feel they need to “show off” their significant other. .. They don’t feel the importance of using facebook or myspace as a mirror to their lives.

 

For my relationship, we use it as an easy way to keep in touch with each other. Not as a reflection of how much love we have for one another… we goof around and makes jokes on it…but nothing we do on it is seen as a requirement to show our love to one another. In my opinion, I agree with the fact your may be insecure and may need to work on your self esteem a tad…

 

Don’t get me wrong, wanting that affection and acknowledgment from your partner is comforting… but don’t let your insecurity blow it out of proportion to where you lose a good thing.

[turnera]

Mimori, I love your little design. Wow!

 

Can I copy it?

[happyhands]

If he didn't want to make an album, it is not your place to MAKE him do so. Could it be because he wants to look single? Maybe. Maybe it's something else. If you were not Love Busting him and you were meeting all his Emotional Needs - i.e. being everything he ever wanted in a girl - he would be jumping through hoops to please you.

 

Couldn't I say the same thing for him? If he acted like everything I want in a guy, I would jump through hoops to please him by forgetting the facebook stuff and the baby thing? I feel as though he has told me to change on other things and I did and now I am asking for a change on something smaller and he can't do it.

[LoveSoDeep]

Honestly, I feel like it cheapens the relationship. You put things on facebook so that the WORLD knows. I don't want everyone I've ever met viewing my personal life and relationships. Posting on a wall rather than just calling or waiting until you are face to face is more of an announcement to the world rather than actual communication to your boyfriend. This is the same reason I dislike PDA.

 

While I agree with this 100% I have to defend the OP here a little. Just b/c we don't think this is necessary doesn't mean it's not okay for other people.

 

It's our opinion that postingthis stuff on FB cheapens the reationship and that it doesn't amke it any mreo real to us....but you knwo what? That's not the point!! The point is it is important to this one person.

 

There are people who enjoy PDA and want to be showered with affrection in public forums and there are partners out there who are happy to oblige...obviosuly or we wouldn't see PDA or posts like this on FB ever.

 

So again OP if it's that important to you...and I have to add it's okay if it is...then you did the right thing...this was simply not the guy for you. I know this was hard and you seemed to have struggled with it for quite some time.

 

On the baby thing I get what you're saying...but why is that one specific pet name important to you? Can't you compromise and let him come up with a different term of endearment for you?

[Cognitive_Canine]

I think if she doesn't shake some of her wants and needs though, that it'll severely hurt her relationship and dating life in general.

 

I don't know many men who'd put up with what she wants. And none of them are stable, healthy men.

[turnera]

If he didn't want to make an album, it is not your place to MAKE him do so. Could it be because he wants to look single? Maybe. Maybe it's something else. If you were not Love Busting him and you were meeting all his Emotional Needs - i.e. being everything he ever wanted in a girl - he would be jumping through hoops to please you.

 

Couldn't I say the same thing for him? If he acted like everything I want in a guy, I would jump through hoops to please him by forgetting the facebook stuff and the baby thing? I feel as though he has told me to change on other things and I did and now I am asking for a change on something smaller and he can't do it.

Maybe. But you're the one here asking for advice (or validation). You seem intent on vilifying him. What does that accomplish?

 

Maybe you've been together so long that you no longer care about pleasing each other. Relationships take a lot of work. Especially when you've been together a long time. If you just keep on expecting something from your mate, and don't spend any time wondering if he is getting what he needs, all you do is send both of you to your corners, pouting, until neither of you is willing to take the first step to fixing the relationship. Which is where it seems you two are.

[EEjustYOmeRE]

well i can honestly say i know how you feel with the whole fb thing. me and my guy have been dating for a long time now and all he has to show for it is one picture (and that was only after i had made a little fuss about it too) and i'm never included on his status or anything.

 

whereas i have pictures of us all over my fb, and stuff about him on my status updates every once and awhile.

 

and it's even gotten to the point where my cousin noticed and even messaged me questioning his feelings for me because of how there's a lack of 'me' in his fb but there's an overflowing 'him' in mine.

 

and even before i got that message, it's always kind of really bugged me and made me get the impression that he's not proud to be with me and things like that.

but when i got that message, it really made me think because despite the fact that i'm not publicised on his fb, he's shown me to his friends and family and they all pretty much no who i am...there's no sign when we're together that he doesn't want to be with me.

so when it comes down to it, that what really matters. which is what i told my cousin.

...you can't discredit everything else because of a social networking site...

 

and with the baby thing, i kind of understand that from your bf's point of view too. because when me and my guy started dating, i asked him not to call me that because it still did remind me of my ex before him so he started calling me sweety instead and after awhile, i did get over the whole 'babe' and 'baby' thing...so now that is what we call eachother every so often.

 

i mean a lot of things WILL bug you about your guy, it's just, you REALLY have to think about your battles to pick and which little things you can live with.

if you really do need a guy to show you affection in that way, then he is NOT the right person for you.

[MinziGirl]

Why are you living your life through Facebook? Why are you so concerned about how your relationship looks on a public forum? Isn't what really matters how you two treat eachother in person?

 

I think i can understand how she feels. It feels good when your partner acknowledges you online & offline that you HIS girl by putting your pictures in his album & profile. Girls do need these small signs of assurances that she is indeed treasured by her guy and seeing the relationship status changed & their pics there is one of the signs to see that he is serious. Also, surely he can do this because it is a small (and right) thing to do if he really loves her.

 

ON the other hand, I don't agree with how she 'forced' her guy to do it. (her guy had indeed loaded 4 pics up)... Maybe that is why the guy got fed up & left her?

[MinziGirl]

If he didn't want to make an album, it is not your place to MAKE him do so. Could it be because he wants to look single? Maybe. Maybe it's something else. If you were not Love Busting him and you were meeting all his Emotional Needs - i.e. being everything he ever wanted in a girl - he would be jumping through hoops to please you.

 

 

I was wondering if you were thinking that he was being unfaithful to you by not doing it?

 

If you think he is being unfaithful, you have to have more proof to prove it. By hounding him like this, you have only sucessfully showed him that you don't trust him.... and trust is a VERY important element in any relationship. Without that, there is no relationship.

[I_Speak_Jive]

 

It's our opinion that postingthis stuff on FB cheapens the reationship and that it doesn't amke it any mreo real to us....but you knwo what? That's not the point!! The point is it is important to this one person.

 

My partner is not obliged to indulge every whim of mine, no matter how unreasonable or ridiculous, merely because "I wish it so and if you don't follow through then your love clearly means nothing".

 

I would be mortified if I ever came home with the "but as long as it's important to me, that's all that matters" line. I expect people to be reasonable and rational enough not to use their partners as dumping grounds for their emotional issues.

 

As for the OP, your post really made me sad. I know you must be hurting a lot and the break-up must have been really tough on you too, but I hope that once the dust settles you'll be able to take a deep breath and reconsider what you have done here.

 

I never, and I mean NEVER, look at my partners' facebook profile, comment on their posts or anything similar. I don't give a toss what they post there. And boy, do I love them. If my boyfriend ever flipped out on me for not "liking" his facebook status and claimed this said something about my feelings for him, I would be extremely hurt and disappointed --and I would definitely question who is this person that I am sharing a bed with.

 

I also think you should really respect the fact that he had an extremely meaningful relationship prior to you, that the breakup from it was probably very, very painful, and that he would rather not be reminded of all that while talking to you. You don't really get to steamroll through anybody's emotions just because you feel you have the right. Your (now ex) boyfriend is a fully-fledged human being, with real feelings based on intensely personal experiences. Why wouldn't you want to respect that? It's what makes him special.

 

I finally might have become a bit harsh when we were texting and I told him I could easily find a guy who would be able to do those simple things.

 

That was pretty mean and princessy. You are demanding adoration from a minion on your terms --not exactly loving relationship material.

 

He said that he is not any guy and I will never find one like him again. He told me to go find him and he wishes me luck.

 

He's right, he's not "any guy". He's him, there is only one of him in the world, and it looks like you just threw him away over... Facebook.

 

The next day, I went on facebook (yesterday) and saw that he put up a new status that said "I am sad". And people have been commenting like crazy. I wonder what the purpose of that status was.

 

Oh man, see? you're doing it again, this break-up is teaching you nothing. You are all about the Facebook. Unless you are an insecure 12 year old girl who's desperate to be "in" and "popular", you as an adult woman have no business living your life according to Facebook and who posts what and who comments where. Do you realise how sad and creepy that sounds?

 

Bottom line is: YOU DON'T OWN HIM. Or anyone else. You don't get to demand whatever you want and not listen to his arguments. You don't get to tell him what to do and how to express his love. You don't own him. He is not an extension of you, or an instrument. He's a person, a dude. We love people, not facebook profiles, God forbid.

[agent1607307371]

I remember your last thread OP. FB and a nickname are not the problem. The problem is that you are in an extremely unhealthy relationship with a controlling man who is still in love with his ex.

 

Your focus is on the wrong things. Dump him and get a life for yourself.

[happyhands]

Well I just possibly either made a fool of myself a little bit or I don't know but I certainly am feeling foolish. I was online and my now ex instant messaged me saying hi. He asked me what's up and we started talking normal and he told me he has to do physical therapy starting tomorrow on his arm so I felt really bad and told him I was sorry. We were talking nice until I noticed after a few lines he was disappearing and not talking to me too much. So I told him I had to go eat something and I'd let him go since he seems busy and he said alright have a good night. So that upset me that he wasn't going to say anything as to why he really messaged me.

 

So I decided to say "you can take down those facebook pics of us on your profile". And he said that was a ridiculous thing to say and I questioned "why? I mean isn't that the compromise you texted to me the other day? That you don't have to put up pics and I get to be called baby?" And he said: "so are you saying you want to get back together and do that compromise?" And I said I think so. He told me then that he doesn't think compromise is a good idea for us. He said a couple other things showing he accepted we are broken up. And I asked him why he said hi to me then and he said because he misses me. I asked him if he has been sad about us and he said he was sad for two days. I noticed the "was". Then he told me something philosphical: "but sometimes you have to go through being sad for the right thing to happen, whatever that may be." Then he suddenly said he had to go and was sorry he went online. I asked why. He said he had plans.

 

This is when I freaked out and started begging. I asked him not to leave me right now and that I want to compromise and that I don't know how to be without him. Then I said I don't understand how he can be so fine, he doesn't seem very upset like he says. And I said why do you always make me beg for you back why can't you just for once want to be with me too? He just said he really had to leave right then cause his mother was waiting and that he likes what I said and he'll talk to me later...who knows if he really will.

 

Did I do the right thing? I feel a bit irrational and crazy now because I see he seems pretty ok and I KNOW he purposely said some of those things to get to me and it almost sounds like phrasing someone else fed to him but I can't get angry if he's trying to act cool I guess. I basically just showed that I care and he seems chill.

[HeartGoesOn]

Live your relationship on earth, not on Facebook.

[anggrace]

"I am very upset and I just wanted to be in a free, unrestricted, Progressive, futuristic, public and private, HEALTHY type of relationship with him with no issues from his past".

 

But you are the one with issues from the past. Why do you insist he calls you "baby"? Isn't a term of endearment suppose to be from the heart? That is not something you demand of someone. I think the real reason it bothers you so much is because you are insecure about his feelings for his ex. By getting him to call you "baby" you will have somehow defeated her. If you let it go, then his past will be the past. That's where he wants to leave it, but you won't let him.

 

You also say you want a "free" and "unrestrictive" relationship but how can that be when you are so demanding? Demending these or any things of your boyfriend is not healthy and will not get you results. If anything, it will give him reason to not do these things.

 

I would be offended and angry if my s.o. constantly questioned my loyalty or comitment for reasons like these. These things DON'T matter in a relationship. They only matter to you because you because you have chosen to make them an issue.