bringing back love thats lost

[swlilbit84]

I am fighting with myself and my emotions. i love my husband more than anything in this world.i live for my kids and him. but when he walked out and said he was not inlove with me anymore i was very confused and hurt. i am 6 months pregnant. do you believe it is possible to make him fall back in love with me? i am going to be in another state and i dont know how to fix this, please help me.

[whattodo87]

I'm really very sorry. Maybe speak with a counselor?

 

link removed

[swlilbit84]

I'm really very sorry. Maybe speak with a counselor?

 

link removed

 

im leaving in two weeks to go home and have my baby where i have a little support. he says there is no fixing this and has to much pride to go to councelor. i love him so much and i cant figure out how to get him back

[sidehop]

He can only change his feelings but if he left you for another woman, time can only tell. I'm very sorry you're going through this but keep fighting for your children. They'll need you more than anyone else.

[Shortpants]

im leaving in two weeks to go home and have my baby where i have a little support. he says there is no fixing this and has to much pride to go to councelor. i love him so much and i cant figure out how to get him back

 

Unfortunately, it does sound like he has made up his mind. You can't control another persons thoughts or feelings, only your own. If he is not willing to work on the marriage or try counceling, that is that. My ex was very reluctant to go to marriage counceling, he finally went, but then would get really pissed at me and yell at me all the way home from counceling because I was "making him look bad". He quit shortly thereafter because all the problems were "mine", so he saw no need for him to go back, according to him he was fine and had nothing to work on. Huh, fancy that. LOL

 

I would honestly focus on you and your children right now. There really is nothing you can do to sway your husband's attitude right now. You don't say if he left for another woman, or just left with no explaination. Not knowing this, I can't really advise anything else. But I still say you need to take care of the most important person, yourself, and be strong for your kids. They are going to need you alot in the near future, and you need to try and keep the stress level down and stay healthy for the baby you are carrying now. Leave him be for now, go NC as much as you can and let him realize what he is missing out on. If you can give any more info on why he says he left, that may help with more advise.

 

Please take care of yourself and the kiddos, what will be, will be. You need to make sure to keep you and the kids top priorty and let your husband go through his process as well. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Keep posting here, this is a great place with lots of listening ears, shoulders to cry on, and it's a great place to vent. Take care and stay strong!

[swlilbit84]

i actually posted a thread a few days ago with my whole story. its titled my husband left me 4 months pregnant. it explains the majority of what he has been telling me. we have been trying to have a baby for almost a year adn we made plans to get checked out at fertility doctor clinic but a few days before appointment surprise i was pregnant. lol. after that everything went down hill and my other thread explains it all.

[Baily]

When my wife cheated on me...my best friend asked..'What were you NOT doing for her that you used to do?'

It made me reflect that I HAD CHANGED...I wasn't focused on her and her needs. It wasn't just that she cheated it was that I failed at being the best husband I could be. It was a two way street.

Especially when you have kids involved it's easy to move your emotions and time to them...that's natural, but did you drop off some of the marital connection

 

1. sex / touch

2. intimacy in conversation

3. buy HIM things to let him know you are thinking of him

 

my guess is that you were so focused on your kids that you took him for granted and he found someone else who was supplying those needs. He can't just abandon his kids and just because you are pregnant does NOT mean he has to stay...I'm sorry.

 

He failed and you failed...can it be worked out...YES! But you BOTH have to be willing to change AND CHANGE! He will eventually have the conversation with you...and you two need to talk and plan some significant time. A council session could help if he agrees to it...but that will take many many months of work before you see any progress.

 

He has to want to come back and that's going to be tough when he has another girl and free time.

[swlilbit84]

in all honesty i was actually the one who wanted sex all the time. sex was never an issue with us. it was unusual for us to go a day without having it. like i said never an issue thats what we were best at. intimacy agina never an issue. i used to buy him things just to buy him things. i used to plan alot of special things for us to do before he left. i focused on my daughter but i never had a problem balancing it. the changes started when the hormones got bad. my emotions were all over place with this pregnancy. i would go from crying to laughing to yelling. he was not around for first pregnancy either so he never experienced my mood changing before. i would hate to think he went to another girl because of my hormones, but unfortunately i think she was his escape from me. i was horrible. and we fought over her alot. i didnt like him talking to her and he said they were friends. but not even two weeks after he left me he was dating her. i do not think they slept together. he has alot of respect for that part of things. i trust him when he says he hasnt. but i ahve pushed him away and want to pull him back. and make him fall back in love with me. our foundation is there i just cant figure out how to get him back except to leave him be. hope he wakes up soon and sees what he is giving up because my son is coming sooner than later i only have 15 weeks left. im scared