What do you think about this?

[Fudgie]

Before I met my boyfriend, he had an online girlfriend but it had ended a while ago. He told me a lot of details about their relationship and I still think it's kind of bizarre. Tell me what you think.

 

-I think they met on a dating site. She was a little younger than him, but no picture.

-She had emotional issues and would "flip out" at small things he said and he'd be walking on eggshells

-For weeks, she wouldn't send a picture. She finally did and it was some of her "skinny dipping" which he thought was weird because he didn't ask for naughty pictures and he wanted "normal" ones. Those were the only ones she would ever send.

-She claimed she had "anxiety issues" and "panic attacks" and therefore was only comfortable conversing via IM, never phone and rarely email. She didn't text either.

-She wouldn't talk on the phone. He's never even heard her voice. ever. She refused to record it.

-She refused to webcam with him.

-She said her computer broke. He offered to buy her one (yes, he's hopelessly generous) and she finally accepted. It had a webcam but she taped it over so he couldn't see her and only she could see him.

-She refused to seek help for "anxiety" because apparently she knows a family member who works at the institution and won't go to another one...why I don't know

-She refused to let him come visit (she's down South) or go see him because of her "anxiety"

-She said if she ever DID go up there, she'd have panic attacks, couldn't go shopping with him (because of said panic attacks) and would have to go out and find people her "own age" and do her own thing...

-She's made out with different people (guys and girls) while she was with him but eventually admitted it

 

Totally strange right?

 

Of course, he split up with her a long time ago and is now with me. She is with some other guy now. Very rarely, he'll be on IM and she'll come on and she'll make small talk, but she never really ever had much to say, even when they were "together". They never had cybersex either. He says he's disappointed still because he wanted to at least hear a "thank you" for when he bought her the netbook, but she never said anything. Just got it and then started complaining about how it was "so small."

 

I think my boyfriend is kind of gullible because the whole while, he really believed that she had the anxiety issues and that's why she couldn't do anything. Although she's pretty much out of his life, he still believes that she has mental issues. I think she was lying. He says that was possible too and if that were true, boy, then he feels dumb.

 

Of course, none of this is really is relevant anymore but I was just wondering what y'all think.

 

If I were him, I would have RUN at the first "panic" attack.

[Fudgie]

By the way, he says he felt pretty manipulated by her and her "guilt tripping".

[lila...]

Wow, I wonder why he put up with her? I don't see one positive thing about her...

[Fudgie]

Well, I guess they had good conversations and she was nice. That was all. He was going through a rough time and she was all that was there. But when things started to get better, he realized "hey, I'm not happy!" and left because he wanted a real relationship and didn't want to get jerked around.

[agent1607307371]

Is he even sure it's a her?

[sophie274]

Doesn't sound like a relationship to me ... just typing, basically.

I have to admit I'd wonder what a guy could be thinking to be in a "relationship" like this, and believe all her stories - I mean, what was he hoping would come of it? It just honestly sounds like a ridiculous thing to have gotten involved in. It could be a 50 year old man or a 12 year old teenager having him on. I hope your boyfriend's not this gullible anymore.

[shuttlefish]

-For weeks, she wouldn't send a picture.

 

only comfortable conversing via IM, never phone and rarely email. She didn't text either.

-She wouldn't talk on the phone. He's never even heard her voice. ever. She refused to record it.

 

-She refused to webcam with him.

 

It had a webcam but she taped it over so he couldn't see her and only she could see him.

 

 

-She refused to let him come visit or go see him

 

-

Totally strange right?

 

more but I was just wondering what y'all think.

 

.

 

 

I think that this girl is actually a guy - a mixed up one, but a guy none the less. Maybe even a guy in prison or institutionalized. He is/was getting his kicks (or is helplessly lonely)

 

That's my guess.

[Fudgie]

Doesn't sound like a relationship to me ... just typing, basically.

I have to admit I'd wonder what a guy could be thinking to be in a "relationship" like this, and believe all her stories - I mean, what was he hoping would come of it? It just honestly sounds like a ridiculous thing to have gotten involved in. It could be a 50 year old man or a 12 year old teenager having him on. I hope your boyfriend's not this gullible anymore.

 

Yeah he's not. He's learned his lesson. He was just very lonely and vulnerable.

 

Honestly, she knew more about him than he ever knew about her! Totally weird.

 

He regrets it now, especially now that he's found me and we're very happy together.

And of course, we're together IRL...so he knows I'm not a rapist in jail or soemthing

[Fudgie]

What makes you think she could have been a guy?

 

Couldn't she just have been a really ugly girl or something...and didn't want him to find out?

[misssmithviii]

I was in a long online relationship before and although we texted all the time, talked all the time since we had the same network, even used webcams to chat and sent pictures back and forth. He'd send me pictures whenever I 'demanded' because yes, I was always very cautious about him being some crazy 90yr old freak. I even spoke to his son. The reason why I believed him (slightly) was all the people who would comment "oh we all had a great time blah blah blah" or what not.

 

Well it got to the point where we never met! We only lived about 2 hours away from each other. So I had to end it after many many occasions when we had planned to meet up but never did.

But geez even he did more than this chick did and I barely believed it.

 

I wouldn't believe this chick but that's just me.

[Loriana]

Well in my opinion if she was unwilling to send pictures of herself and talk to him on the phone then she was obviously hiding something from him, maybe she was a guy like shuttlefish said. He bought her a netbook and she accepted it but she couldn't come to see him cos she will get 'panich attacks'?. I think she was playing with your bf to be honest she probably made him feel sorry for her so he'll end up buying her a netbook. I think she knew your bf was a bit gullable and niave so she used that to her advantage to take money from him. She could of been a con artist you just never know but lucky he ended it when he did.

[sophie274]

What makes you think she could have been a guy?

 

Couldn't she just have been a really ugly girl or something...and didn't want him to find out?

 

Because "she" basically refused to let him either hear "her" voice or see "her" face - sounds like someone who has something to hide.

 

I just read that your boyfriend is 57, and honestly I find it a bit alarming that someone that age (I figured he'd been a teenager when this happened, given your age) would get involved in a relationship like that. It's the sort of story I might expect a teenager to believe, but not a grown man. Something about this seems off to me. How old did he think the girl was?

[Fudgie]

Because "she" basically refused to let him either hear "her" voice or see "her" face - sounds like someone who has something to hide.

 

I just read that your boyfriend is 57, and honestly I find it a bit alarming that someone that age (I figured he'd been a teenager when this happened, given your age) would get involved in a relationship like that. It's the sort of story I might expect a teenager to believe, but not a grown man. Something about this seems off to me. How old did he think the girl was?

 

My boyfriend is too nice for his own good. He's been used many times...not just by her. Before her, he wasn't really used "online" but by family members and such. His ex-wife really ripped him off. Really, it's a bad fault of his. The stories are absolutely ridiculous, the ones people have told him, and deep down, I don't think he believes them, but he still cares about the person and just doesn't want to say "no".

He's very easy to manipulate. I don't do it though.

 

He's very lucky to have found me because I don't need money and I don't jerk him around. Our relationship is very good and we feel comfortable and trusting with each other.

 

He's certainly not stupid in the least. He's very smart. I think he just tends to not want to "judge" others and then he gets burned in the end.

 

I think the "girl" was in her early 30s or something at that time. I say "girl" because she seemed immature, not like a "woman" at all. He said that was something that bothered him but he thought she would get better. She lived off of disability supposedly, and worked a job. She was constantly going out to clubs, told my boyfriend he was "unattractive" and "old".

 

He told me he hoped maybe she would "grow up" a bit, settle down, and not want to go to clubs anymore, because he rarely goes out. He say that it would not happen, and they were not going to meet. She was supposedly sick and he wanted her to come up and get her some healthcare so she could better and get help for her mental issues. She refused. He said he was upset that she was wanting to go out a lot and made fun of him for not wanting to. Well, that's what happens when you date younger, I guess.

 

Now he has me. We met on a dating site. He found me when he did a "keyword search" in the area, looking for like-minded people. I don't go out either to clubs or anything, and we are very much on the same wavelength. Very happy

[HeartGoesOn]

I wouldn't be surprised if the person behind the screen was a 75 y/o man.

[sidehop]

Is he even sure it's a her?

 

I wouldn't be surprised if the person behind the screen was a 75 y/o man.

 

I was thinking along this line...someone trying to be someone else. She could've been real but even if that's the case sounds like she just isn't stable emotionally.

[Fudgie]

Yeah that's what he said. He wanted someone stable and she just wasn't it.

 

Glad he didn't scammed or anything!

[ibu]

 

Glad he didn't scammed or anything!

 

Well "she" did get a computer out of it, paid by your boyfriend.

[sidehop]

Yeah that's what he said. He wanted someone stable and she just wasn't it.

 

Glad he didn't scammed or anything!

 

Too many scammers out there...who knows if he or she got a computer out of this deal. One way to look at it!

[Fudgie]

Well "she" did get a computer out of it, paid by your boyfriend.

 

Yeah she did and he's upset about it now, but in the long run, it wasn't that bad.

 

It was a cheap netbook, nothing high end or fancy. It was around a couple hundred dollars.

 

So yeah, he was scammed, but it could have been a LOT worse, and I'm thankful that it wasn't. I hear horror stories about people who pretty much empty their bank accounts for scammers.

[ibu]

Yeah she did and he's upset about it now, but in the long run, it wasn't that bad.

 

It was a cheap netbook, nothing high end or fancy. It was around a couple hundred dollars.

 

So yeah, he was scammed, but it could have been a LOT worse, and I'm thankful that it wasn't. I hear horror stories about people who pretty much empty their bank accounts for scammers.

 

That's true, but still....a couple hundred dollars is still a couple hundred dollars too many in this case.

[Fudgie]

Yeah it stinks.

 

Oh well, not much we can do about it now. I'm glad he ended it when he did and he learned his lesson.

 

I love my boyfriend a lot but he needs to learn that just because someone you love needs money doesn't mean you should just dole it out.