Who do I choose...?

[DaisyDaisy]

I have a big problem. To put things into context. I'm 21.There is my EX who i was with from 16-19 years old...who i love immensely. And there is this new guy who has just come into the picture at the same time my ex comes back into the picture. The toughest thing ever.

 

Ok firstly, to describe situation with my EX. I spend, months, years, wondering and longing for us to get back together. Honestly, some of the best memories of my life are from that relationship. I feel elated to have such special memories, that never tire my heart and spirit when I think about them over and over again. He was definitely my first love, and I can connect with him the way I connect with no other person. Other men have come into my life since we broke up, and even while I was attracted to other people, it was always a bit different. I really genuinely LOVE this guy, and we both made each other the happiest people on the planet. The reason it ended was due to arguments, bickering... we were both young and were stupid about handling the relationship and it was a pretty messy break up (lots of shouting and screaming). But it's been 2 years since we broke up. Neither of us ever got another girlfriend/boyfriend after the breakup. A lot of our mutual friends say they think it wasn't the right time for us, and that we should be together etc. Well about 6 months ago, he approached me, we started this 'FWB' situation...although we never really called it that. We were just a bit scared of getting back together, weren't attracted to anyone else, felt comfortable around each other so we just met up to 'release our urges' if you will...

 

Now, about 2 months ago, an old school friend from 3 years ago popped up on my facebook, he commented on a quote i'd put up from a Shakespeare play. We got to talking, got along really well. I thought nothing of it. He popped up again several weeks ago and we got to talking - again, thought nothing of it. THEN last week, he suggested we meet with friends, since we found out that we're always in the same neighbourhood. So we met with friends...it was really fun and enjoyable. And THEN 2 days after that, he wanted to meet me again but this time it was just us two. So I said sure, why not, after I'm done with the library we'll go have a drink around 7 or 8...i saw it as very casual...then I realised it was more like a date. He was so polite and gentlemanly, paid the bill without notifying me, was very very lovely, honest and open in the conversation etc. And I suddenly felt this huge surge of attraction. I couldnt help thinking, it's not every day you meet guys like this. We seemed to have very similar interests, similar backgrounds...and not to mention he's gorgeous. After this night I couldnt stop thinking about how perfect he is. We've been texting each other every day too, and he invited me to an art exhibition at the british musuem for next week too, already got the tickets and everything. I was just like arghhhh I haven't had a crush like this since 2005 !!!!

 

And then today my ex was messaging me saying he can't wait for the Summer and that it's going to be so amazing etc.

 

And I was like thinking Whaaaat. My ex seems genuinely quite into me and thinking so far ahead. Maybe its not as much of an FWB situation as I thought.

 

I'm so confused....i dont know what to do...

[hope90]

heyy!

Well if you still have feelings for your ex and you like his company then honsetly you should go for it.. dont think too much becauase then it will be too late, but just make sure he has the same feelings for you.. continue talking to other guys until you are complelety sure, but talk to your ex more.. see if you feel the same way as you used to

[DaisyDaisy]

thanks for your advice...yeah i think i need to straighten things out with my ex first and see if hes thinking about me long term...some comments he makes feels like he sees us together in the forthcoming year which really surprise me.. but then most of my friends are all like 'move on, its time you finally got over him etc' so its difficult to know what the best decision is...ah. Old or new.

[andrewman]

I hate to confuse, Daisy, but I disagree with Hope. If your ex isn't stepping up to be in a relationship, he doesn't want to be. He's enjoying the FWB, as I'm sure you were as well. That is separate from this new guy. He sounds to me to be a great guy that you actually have a lot in common with, plus you find him gorgeous. If you have feelings for someone else, you're over your ex. Enjoy the art exhibition.

[DaisyDaisy]

Thanks....I sort of agree with you andrew, the problem is moreso what i would do if i speak to my ex and he says he would commit....i mean he's not said it with words before, that he wants more than FWB, but the way he talks sometimes, he talks miles ahead into the future about us...and it is puzzling! I dont know! I guess I just needed to vent out my dilemma...seems like going into the new guy is a better idea, but its just a lot scarier, not knowing someone, etc. Whereas with my ex, its safe, i know him inside how, know he'd never cheat on me, know what makes him angry, know what makes me angry, etc. Oh well, I'll figure it out in good time!

[candykisses]

Hi Daisy, I think you should definitely try things out with the new guy; he sounds lovely =) As for your ex, there's no reason why you shouldn't still keep him in the picture either You're young, just have fun and go with the flow. Has the new guy discussed a relationship with you or anything yet? Or are you just still hanging out?

[hope90]

hey daisy,

I totally agree with candykisses.. like yshould tsill keep your ex in th epicture and still talk to this new guy; get to know him better and see how things work out.. and see ifthis new guys is interested in a realtionship like candy mentioned..