I'm resentful now. Tell him to rip up the love letter I sent?

[fuddiduddy]

A few days after we broke up, I decided to write a well-written, deep, heartfelt (but not begging) letter to my ex outlining exactly why I thought he's made a mistake. He was impressed by it and he claimed it made him go back and forth between either getting back together or remaining alone. He concluded he feels it's best that he remain alone because it wouldnt fair to me to be in a rship with him at this time (he's going through a lot). He also claims he keeps the letter with him in his backpack everywhere.

 

Now,because I cannot stop thinking about him and I'm suspecting he wasn't being honest about the events leading to the breakup, my resentment towards him is truly setting in. I want to send him a short text telling him to just rip the letter up:

 

Still have that letter? Just rip it up.--It no longer applies.

 

Yes, it's breaking NC. But it seems so therapeutic for me to give him a hint as to how I NOW feel about him. I honestly don't think he knows how much I wanna tell him off because we were doing such lite and friendly LC for a couple of weeks. I WANT him to know how much I'm beginning to dislike him.

 

Would you do this?

[fiishh]

I want to do that with my ex too, to tell her that I dislike her because I don't want her thinking that I care, but I suppose it depends on the situation. If he contacted you would you be tempted to contact him back, or get back with him? If not then yeah I'd say go for it, he should know you dislike him but also perhaps it's best being the bigger person and just moving on, without even showing him that you feel anything for him.

 

Sometimes not saying anything is more powerful than saying the most angry of words.

[DN]

I think it would be a mistake sending him that text - one reason is that it makes you look extremely indecisive and/or that the letter was being manipulative rather than an honest expression of your feelings.

[BIGIDFSH]

I myself wouldn't it seems a little juvenile. You meant what you said when you wrote the letter at the time so let him carry it around. The best revenge on him will be your happiness without him and once you move on all he'll have is the letter, not you. You get the better deal. Keep up with the NC that will convey to him a lot about what you think of him!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If you want to send a message then simply go no contact. Silence speaks volumes. Just like you regretted sending the lovey dovey letter, you might end up regretting sending the bitter-sounding text. Your emotions are all over the map so it is best that you take some time to really reflect. Put some distance between the two of you and don't be in contact with him. If he questions you as to why you are not responding to his contact simply tell him that since he is not interested in a relationship with you it is best for your own healing process that you have no further contact with him.

[shessofly]

just remain silent.

[fLuiD]

A text like that would come accross as childish. It is only going to lead to more arguing and more frustration. Your resentment and disappointment with him is something you are going to have to deal with on your own. How do you do that? Occupy your mind with hobbies, friends, etc. Put him in the back of your mind for a little bit. He is the one that broke up with you, so if he wants to get back together, he will be the one to come around.

[fLuiD]

just remain silent.

 

This sums it up.

[fuddiduddy]

I sent it like a fool.

 

Being the outspoken person I am, I couldn't resist, plus I felt I had nothing to lose. BUT I'm glad I did it because I feel soooo much better now! For two reasons: 1) my thoughts (no matter how irrational) are finally off my chest, and 2) he managed to forgive me and we're on better terms--NOT back together, but still "friendly". I STILL don't plan on passively entering the friendzone. As good as I feel now, NC is still necessary for me, so I'm resuming that again as of today. Text transcript:

 

Me: I dont think you EVER loved me. U didn't have to use your medical issue as the excuse for ending it. AND u come to town last wkend w/out even a 'hello.' ...Seems u dont even wanna be "friends" as you requested. I can't believe u hurt me so bad and you don't even care? Rip my letter up and enjoy your new R'ship.

 

Him: I'm not in a relationship. I went to Brooklyn with __ and ___ for a baby shower and was there for 2 hrs, I have never lied to you and dont intend to start. If u dont have anything nice to say, then dont. I dont need any hostility from you and I would appreciate if u dont start any. ...I am not ripping up the letter. If you dont wanna be friends, that is up to you. And I am STILL very much in love with you!

Me: I'm sorry for the accusations. I really am. Just hurting badly still.

 

Him: And please top it with me being in a relationship. I am not in a relationship with anyone. I don't like being accused of something I'm not doing.

 

Me: ok, I believe you arent in a rship....It's just that my emotions are everywhere and my imagination is running wild. Sorry for coming at you like I did.

 

Him: I have no reason to be deceptive with u and I thought you knew that...I still care about you and still think about you often. I am very much trying to work out things in my life so I can start to move forward....I DID think about calling you from Brooklyn, but I had no idea where I was and it was a quick trip for only 2 hrs....I think about things concerning us and I wanna be sure I am doing the right thing. You are not the only one hurting.

 

Me: Can you accept my apology?

 

Him: Yes I can.

 

Me.

 

Thoughts?