I'm going to work on myself

[LightbulbSun]

I'm making a mid-year resolution right now to work on myself. I've basically been beating myself up for too long, and it's time to make some changes.

 

These are the things I want to work on:

 

1. From now on, I'm a voluntary virgin who doesn't care about being one. Forget my age, forget how experienced everyone else is. It doesn't matter. There are other virgins out there much older than me, who don't care that they're virgins, and they meet partners because of this. Caring that I'm a virgin is holding me back, and I need to quit it.

2. I'm going to work on improving my physical health. Enough beating myself up over being overweight, it doesn't matter, because I can change. I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow; in fact, I'll probably go as soon as I get up.

3. I'm going to read dating/self help books, and not treat dating so cynically. I need to keep an open mind when it comes to dating; just because I've never done it before, doesn't mean I can't learn how. And the books I have will help that.

4. No more putting myself down. I am attractive, that's how I feel, and past experiences aren't going to change that.

5. I'm going to join a dating site, and stick with it. Maybe I'll meet someone special, maybe I won't. Who knows? But it's better than sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

[Celestialagape54]

Sounds like you are on the right path lightbulbsun! Good luck to you and if you need support that what everyone one ENA is here for! Power to ya!

[shuttlefish]

Good for you!!

 

add

 

1.) Think positive, always, it will become infectious and people will want to be around you

2.) Expect set backs, it's part of the progression

3.) Create achievable, definable, measureable goals (especially regarding working out)

4.) Keep a journal

[Capricorn3]

Great post Lightbulb. Wish you all the best!

[renaissancewoman101]

working out is a good way to begin.

 

Kicks up those "happy feel good" endorphins.

 

Also makes you feel good about yourself and when you start to lose weight, you'll feel better and look better.

[greywolf]

Good for you! =)

[YakasJourney]

Yes! Remember you don't have to force yourself to date if you're not ready, especially online dating. If you are in a position to meet people in real life, do that first. Part of my problem was that I spent way too much time thinking about dating, dating, dating. To the point where I was messaging and meeting people online not to meet and get to know people, but just to date because I felt like that's what I "should" be doing. Almost to prove to myself I could do it.

[LightbulbSun]

Yes! Remember you don't have to force yourself to date if you're not ready, especially online dating. If you are in a position to meet people in real life, do that first. Part of my problem was that I spent way too much time thinking about dating, dating, dating. To the point where I was messaging and meeting people online not to meet and get to know people, but just to date because I felt like that's what I "should" be doing. Almost to prove to myself I could do it.

 

Exactly. I'm putting too much pressure on myself.

 

I think I'm going to sit back and just try to make female friends. If I meet someone along the way, that's great, if not, it'll happen eventually. I need to work on my social skills and getting over my social anxiety first of all.