pmac Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 I have been seeing this girl for about three months now, and although we are nothing official, my friend has been trying pretty obviously trying to get together with her for a hook-up. I've even caught him trying to kiss her. I think he's legitimizing this by saying, "Oh, you guys aren't in a relationship yet!" or "You're still single!" But at the same time I told him how much this girl means to me, and seeing them hook-up would be pretty wrenching to me. But still, he keeps asking her to hang out privately, and it's starting to make me concerned. I find it wicked scummy, actually, but I didn't know if this was normal behavior for a friend to behave. I'm thinking no, right? How should I go about this? What should I tell him? Should we really still even be friends after this bs? Help, please, thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guynextdoor Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Time to lose this disrespectful friend of yours. Seriously lose the douche. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidehop Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 He's not your friend if he can't even respect you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 No it's not normal, and he is not your friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huskiesfan Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 If he sees nothing wrong with what he is doing, either he is a sneaky little *expletive deleted* or he has a very misguided set of morals. Even though you and this girl aren't "official" yet, that isn't a green light for your friend to begin to make a move. Tell him to ease off, and if he doesn't, give him the boot. I've had several friends try that with girls I was with, and they are no longer friends of mine. You don't need them around if they are that sneaky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whattodo12 Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Dude. No. Thats not cool. Its guy code to not hook up with a girl that a friends going after. He's not your friend. Every guy would be pissed if this was happening to them. If he doesn't respect you and hooks up with this chick, you have the right to punch him in his face later. I prob. would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
huskiesfan Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 If he doesn't respect you and hooks up with this chick, you have the right to punch him in his face later. I prob. would. Not to mention that if this girl bites and does hook up with him, she should get the boot as well. You don't need a treacherous girlfriend to go along with a treacherous friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 There is an unwritten rule that you stay away from your friend's potentials, siblings, and exes unless given the go ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IvantheAvg Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Its selfish but some male friendships due take on a competitive nature and at times such a nature can be healthy sometimes unhealthy. Technically he's right and he's not lying. Just because you like her shouldn't make her off limits to him. Nothing official means you ain't in yet. Let her decide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Dark Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 you should just tell him to back off because you are pursuing this female as a potential partner. Or is he just trying to get into her pants before you do and she becomes off the market "In Words". I had a "friend" do this. He was all attitude as expected and no respect. He just wanted to get in to her before I did basically. So since words meant nothing to him, it came down to making it clear what was going to happen to hm if he did. He wasn't my friend afterwards. I guess he thought I wouldn't lose the plot at him as he expects people to behave in a cordial manner about these things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 you should just tell him to back off because you are pursuing this female as a potential partner. Or is he just trying to get into her pants before you do and she becomes off the market "In Words". I had a "friend" do this. He was all attitude as expected and no respect. He just wanted to get in to her before I did basically. So since words meant nothing to him, it came down to making it clear what was going to happen to hm if he did. He wasn't my friend afterwards. I guess he thought I wouldn't lose the plot at him as he expects people to behave in a cordial manner about these things. I agree with In the dark. He is not a friend of yours and for that matter I don't think he even respects you very much. Out of respect especially towards a friend when they see you have an interest in someone they don't go in there and try to get with that same person. If anything I would say tell this person that even though you and this girl are not "serious" that you are very interested in her and that you don't want anyone getting in between the two of you and what could possibly develop. Respectfully tell him to back off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavenderdove Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 You don't need friends who try to steal your girl from you. That honestly isn't decent behavior. I wouldn't be friends with this guy... he's got a whole world of women to choose from and he's chasing yours... he's either very competitive and screwed up and gets off on taking other men's women, or else he's just really selfish and doesn't care how much he hurts the people around him. Neither is a good trait in a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutbrownhare Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 I agree with everyone who says this guy is not a friend. Also, if I were you, I'd make it 'official' as soon as possible - unless you're 100% sure your not-yet-girl knows how keen you are on her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser_Soze Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 It's bad enough if he tried to come on to her as a one time deal when he was drunk, but to be persuing her openly is disrespect. My friends know to ask me if it's all good even when it comes to a short term ex. You gotta check this guy. It's not his place to dictate your relationship with her. Tell him to back the F* up before you split his wig! How does she feel about this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geekgirl4 Posted April 14, 2010 Share Posted April 14, 2010 This is totally against the friend code. You were interested in her first so your friend should respect that. If you were interested and then let it go or just never did anything about it, THEN I think it's fair game for your friend to move in and try. But in this case, a big NO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IvantheAvg Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 You guys need to learn to not be afraid of competition. Iron sharpens iron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pl3asehelp Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 I'd kick him in the nards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaiser_Soze Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 You guys need to learn to not be afraid of competition. Iron sharpens iron. Competition is the guy at the gym or someone that doesn't know you approaching your girl. Someone disrespecting you openly, gets dealt with, period, end of story. I am not saying go all control freak and try and fight everyone that looks at her, just don't hesitate to check someone who is so openly disrespecting you or especially your woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinziGirl Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 He doesn't respect you, he ain't supportive, he is trying to steal away the girl whom you are interested in just because he wants her for himself & that you both ain't officially in a relationship....... What are you still doing then with him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longview01 Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Its selfish but some male friendships due take on a competitive nature and at times such a nature can be healthy sometimes unhealthy. Technically he's right and he's not lying. Just because you like her shouldn't make her off limits to him. Nothing official means you ain't in yet. Let her decide. Sorry have to disagree Basically this is encouraging the guy to rush along the relationship and maybe push her away because he has a sod of a friend that doesnt know his boundries. get rid of the friend I say, he shows no respect for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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