I feel miserable.............

[Ihavetissues]

And don't really have anything to be miserable about.

 

I just get these overwhelming feelings and thoughts, i over think everything, panic about everything.

 

Why cant I just kick back and enjoy my life.

 

I'm in a relationship and we live together, i guess that's what brings it on really.

don't get me wrong he is a good bf but we do have a bad times, mainly cos I have all the above like I mentioned going around my head.

 

I just don't know why I do this to myself, I constantly try and find things wrong. I find it really hard to trust but he hasn't done anything to make me mistrust him.

 

I check his Facebook all the time, check this forum he goes on and if i see anything I don't like, I get really worked up, upset and stressed out. The trouble is I know i shouldn't do it and had stopped for a long time and I felt so much better when I wasny doing it but when im feeling down i do it then it just makes it ten times worse. I know most of the forum chat is just banter and I have no right looking, cos i would hate him to look at this forum i go on.

 

Its really like I don't know how to be happy and enjoy my relationship.

 

My bf is very supportive most of the time and gods knows why he puts up with it, he says its cos he loves me but i know I really need to get better, And don't get me wrong I have been a lot better with everything but its still there.....

 

 

[misssmithviii]

Next time you start to force negativity into your life (which is what you're doing, unfortunately) think about all the things you're taking for granted.

 

Guilt yourself out of this behavior if anything! As a general theory: People don't like to stick around too long with people who are always down and out about nothing.

 

Don't voice out your negativity, vent it out in a diary or on ENA's online solo journal.

I used to be this way a long time ago until I kicked myself in the a** and realized I have much to be happy for. A part of that is because of my man, one day I asked him, why he's so happy and content all the time, and he said, why shouldn't I be?

[savagegirl]

I used to be like you. My ex would go on forums, flirt openly with other girls and message them and it bothered me to the point where I didn't trust him at all and we would have arguments over it. He always put up with it, he would reassure me that he only loves me and that it didn't mean anything. I don't think he actually cheated on me, but I wouldn't have put it past him to do it. He did disrespect me over and over again by going there even though he knew it hurt me so much and caused many fights in the relationship.

So the good news is that I broke up with him and found an amazing guy who I just got engaged to. He respects me and respects our relationship and would never think of doing those things.

Bottom line is if you can't trust your bf, you shouldn't be with him, regardless of whatever anyone else thinks or regardless of anyone else's opinions on what is flirty and what isn't.

[hexaemeron]

Okay, but she's said here and in previous threads, her boyfriend has never done anything remotely to warrant her paranoid, insecure needy behavior. Huge difference.

[Ihavetissues]

Okay, but she's said here and in previous threads, her boyfriend has never done anything remotely to warrant her paranoid, insecure needy behavior. Huge difference.

 

Exactly hex, so why the bloody hell I am still doing this to myself, its driving me crazy and ruining my life and my relationship

 

](*,)

[Taikero]

You know what works?

 

Gratitude. Think about all the wonderful things he does for you, how much you enjoy having him around, and about what you feel you two can have in the future.

 

Also, trust and respect.

 

Respect your boyfriend enough to believe he would break up with you if he was unhappy with the relationship (as opposed to cheating), and trust that he has your best interests at heart and would not hurt you.

 

If you still have doubts beyond this.....

 

Communicate.

 

Talk it out with your boyfriend and work through these doubts together. He wants the both of you to work out, so he'll more than likely be supportive and understanding. If you don't remain open and honest with each other when nothing wrong is happening, how can you imagine making it through the difficult times?

[Capricorn3]

Keep reminding yourself that if you carry on this way, you will lose him, permanently. Remind yourself it's only a matter of time before he packs his bags and walks out and won't come back. Remind yourself that every time you do this, you push him away more and more. Hopefully that will do the trick, because everyone has their breaking point and one day he will reach his.

 

Other than that, I can only suggest some form of professional counselling to help you figure out where all of this paranoia and deep rooted insecurity is coming from.