Lady Rashomon Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 So I'm in this maddening in-between phase where I'm not sure if I should leave my husband or not. He's a wonderful man and we have a very close friendship, but I am coming to terms with doubts I've nursed for nearly the past eight years of our relationship (we've been married almost three of those years). I always feared that we had fundamental incompatibilities, but I had convinced myself early on that true love is something you fight for, something that takes effort and commitment. Well, fast-forward several years later, into the aftermath of a painful affair, and I'm beginning to realize that I'd very effectively denied those major niggling doubts regarding sexual compatibility, lifestyle, values, and the depth of our connection. One of the things that is making it so difficult to just up and leave is the fact that he is madly in love with me, and I DON'T want to be the kind of person who just slams the door in his face. Also, if I truly am a commitment-phobe and this is just my way of trying to find an easy way out, I want to be able to work things out within myself. Basically, I want to be a responsible person, but the longer I am in this, the more frustrated and confused I feel. Most of my friends and family think I should just up and leave, but I feel that I am responsible for both my and my husband's happiness, and I don't want to just run away. I'm curious--if you were married and on the brink of a separation, did you stick things out? And if you did, did things get better? How do you KNOW in your heart that it's time to leave? Link to comment
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