redherring Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 WHY?! We broke up 21 months ago. We almost got back together a year ago. Then HE messed things up- phoning me up in the middle of the night and telling me he never wanted to see me again- for reasons I still don;t understand further than 'he was suicidally depressed and thats what suicidal people do'. Its been almost a whole year since I've spent any time with him in person. I haven't had a proper conversation with him since mid-October- the last contact I had with him was a text in mid-Jan, he was asking me how I was. I'm always upset about it, even if that upset doesn't overspill into my everyday life anymore. Today I've spent almost an hour in my room crying about it. I feel like I'm going mad- I'm so frustrated with the whole situation. I just CANT seem to get past it, no matter what I do. Or I'll feel like I got somewhere... and then something else will set me back. Today marks the anniversary of the first time we slept together, and it sucks. I miss him so much. No amount of new city to live in, new life and new friends seems to help me feel over it. :sad: I miss him so much but I can't get in touch with him, he messed things up and its up to him to fix it. things wont ever get work until he's happier with himself anyway. it just sucks, it hurts so much and I don't know why I'm still struggling THIS much after SO long and SO much drama. :sad: Rant over. Link to comment
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