How to turn down a guy.. nicely..

[greek pearl]

I have been friends with this guy at work.. for almost 6 months we have been talking to each other at work.. hardly few minutes a day.. he is very funny and takes off the stress of the work.. he recently started complimenting me.. talking about my eyes and smile.. I did not take it all so seriously... because i knew he was dating a girl from work.. and that's how guys are.. but turns out that he is single.. he managed to get my number.. calls me up everyday.. and we talk.. which is fine.. as i said he cracks me up.. and he is not shallow like most guys.. but he is clearly into me.. I have a feeling that he is going to ask me out in a couple of days.. I'm not interested in him that way.. and I don't want things to be awkward between us.. how do I let him know that I'm not interested even before he makes a move.. will a fake boyfriend work..

[fLuiD]

The nicest way to turn someone down is to be honest.

[sidehop]

Just tell him you like him as a friend, no need to make up a fake b/f

[LightbulbSun]

To be honest, as a guy the 'boyfriend excuse' p's me off, every time. If I find out later that you don't have a boyfriend, I get angry. It's like, "You didn't respect me enough to tell me the truth??!"

 

I'd just be honest, tell him you don't see him that way. If you make up a boyfriend, it's just bound to complicate things.

[Shortpants]

I agree with everyone else, just be honest and tell him, "Thank you but I'm not interested". No need to make up any stories. I would much rather have someone be straightforward and honest with me than to find out down the road that they lied to me. Not to mention that if you did end up just being friends, he would probably end the friendship if he found out you lied to him.

 

Good luck!

[Day_Walker]

I dont think that a pre-emptive strike is the best course of action. When he decides to ask you out then you should say what you have just said what you told us her.

 

You also have to realize that he is more than likely going to treat you differently than he does now after you reject him. Some guys do not handle rejection well and it is very possible that he is being nice to you now in hopes of winning you over. So you have to realize that no matter what you do there is going to be some kind of tension there and it is unavoidable.

[greek pearl]

no matter what you do there is going to be some kind of tension there and it is unavoidable.

Hi Day Walker.. it is to avoid this tension that i want to make up a boyfriend.. so that he does not come out with his intentions.. I can pretend that I never knew..

[Go Habs Go]

Just be honest. If you say you have a boyfriend when you really don't and he finds out, it will get ugly. Honesty is the best policy.

[Day_Walker]

Hi Day Walker.. it is to avoid this tension that i want to make up a boyfriend.. so that he does not come out with his intentions.. I can pretend that I never knew..

 

That may not work, he may get frustrated at the fact that you have a bf and there can be tension as a result of that. the point is there is going to be some kind of tension.

 

A small level of tension is okay as he deals with the rejection, perhaps he will still talk to you and perhaps he will not. It just going to depend on how he wants to handle the situation.

[greek pearl]

so.. thanks to you guys.. I finally gathered the courage and told him not to expect more than friendship.. things are not as bad as I thought they would be..

[dog stevens]

Yeah, be as straightforward as possible. I've been rejected by lots and lots of girls and the rejections that aren't straightforward are by far the worst.

[Curlylocks75]

You did the right thing in being honest with him and he will respect you for it i'm sure. I was in the same situation, chatted to this guy for months for 5 maybe 10 mins and mostly he would instigate the conversations. I enjoyed his company, if only briefly and decided to be confident enough to ask outright if he was single and maybe go out for a drink sometime. I've never, plucked up the courage before to ask a guy out, but i'm glad I did. He was honest with me, said he had a girlfriend and thought I was in a relationship too. He did say, if he was single he would of gone out for a drink with me. So being honest is the best way to be and at least I was still smiling and dont feel rejected. You have done the right thing and he'll still be your friend and respect you for your honesty.