Greggie Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 So something new has happened. Something different and unusual and new. At first I thought it was wonderful, finally feeling an attraction towards somebody (instead of walking around like a zombie ice queen, with not so much as a glimmer of interest in other human beings), but now ...urgh, it's just annoying! This may have something to do with the fact that this person has not so much as a sliver of interest in me. =P I met this person at the salon where he works (he's a hairdresser) and always found him interesting (not in any romantic sort of way, I just thought he was an interesting person who I could become friends with). No friendship was ever pursued, and we would hug and say hi when we would meet at clubs and such, but that was basically it. ...Until one day not too long ago I met him at a club and ended up going to an afterparty at his place. (This after"party" pretty much consisted of him, me and a colleague of mine.) The colleague soon fell alseep, and him and I ended up sitting up talking. I was whiny and obsessive and fixated on the married man who I then had feelings for, and endulged my self-pity fully - as he did the same, telling gallant tales about his "the one who got away". For some reason it seemed like a good idea (at the time!) for us to have sex with each other, and so we stupidly (and drunkenly I might add!) did. Forgive my bluntness, but it pretty much sucked. I mean, really really sucked. The problem was not him but me, and the fact that sex without feelings just doesn't do it for me. I was litterally counting down the seconds till he came. Eventually he did (finally!) and he fell alseep with his arms around me. I barely slept, because the whole thing just felt unnatural and awkward, and so I lay there in all my awkwardness, regretting every stupid moment of that stupid stupid night. We went about our lives, and would still run into each other, hug, say hi, joke about the fact that we had had sex with each other, and everything was completely normal. No awkwardness, nothing - and we both seemed to be in agreement that this was a one night stand and nothing more. At the time, I still had no romantic interest in him. He contacted me a couple of times via texts and Facebook, basically asking me to meet him for sex. I diplomatically declined each time, with excuses like "I have to get up early in the morning"; (I have a real problem "brutally" rejecting people). Then, just this Wednesday, he came by the club where I work, and asked what I was doing later. He invited me to come with him and his friend to his friend's place to see a horror movie. Seeing as I love horror movies (though they sadly don't scare me as much now as they did in my littler years), I happily accepted. ...And let me tell you, it was the most fun I've had in a long time! After the movie, we sat up discussing conspiracy theories into the wee hours of the night, and eventually went to sleep together (like sleep-sleep, in the dreaming-snoring-resting sense). He tried to have sex with me, but I politely declined yet again. After some convincing (A LOT of convincing) he finally agreed to go to sleep, and we lay in each other's arms, and this time, it was AMAZING. By the time I woke up the next morning, I was sold. Too bad he wasn't as sold on me... Now let me just mention that I am an old-fashioned girl in many senses, one of them being the fact that I prefer for a guy to pursue me rather than the other way around. I have never aggressively pursued anyone, and probably never will either, no matter how much I like someone. The way I see it, if he likes me, he'll show it, he'll pursue me. If not, then too bad I guess... But seeing as it is very rare for me to feel an attraction towards somebody, I decided not to let my passive aggressiveness get the best of me, and asked him on Facebook if he was going out. He responded with a disintrested "Yeah, I think so..." and I responded with some half-funny comment that was met with nothing but SILENCE. The neurotic Woody Allen that neaurotically lives inside me declared it official that this boy had absolutely NO interest in me. ...And as if it wasn't official enough already (which it was by the way!) that night at the club he made it more official than ever, completely ignoring me in every sense of the word. I mean, I was air. Dirty polluted air that was of no worth to anyone. My best friend told me she got the "playing hard to get" vibe from him, but let's not be concieted here... I guess he's just not that into me, which is kind of sad, because I was kind of into him. The defeatist in me is yelling for me to JUST GIVE UP ALREADY, but it is just so rare for me to find someone I actually have an interest in! I genereally find 95 % of all guys I meet boring to tears, ignorant and shallow - and without personality. Too bad the one person I actually liked finds me all those things=( So I guess my question is, where do I go from here? I mean, I can't FORCE someone to take an interest in me, and if that's how it has to be done, then truth is I don't want it done at all. But still, there's something about this one... Advice? Thoughts? Pity? Feel free to be brutally honest=) Link to comment
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