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Feeling less angry today.....


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Just posting really to get the feelings out....


Feeling less angry about everything today and realising that we just rub each other up the wrong way. I have learnt I cannot be with someone who makes me their life and doesn't ever go out with friends, because I am just the sort of person who will feel guilty for doing that myself.


My doctor, who knows me very well and from a child, has always said that to me. Well my BF used to have a life but he stopped it all when I came along and plus we moved too fast.


There are things about this views and character that don't sit well with me and because of all the stress we have been through, it has just built up resentment and anger.


I just don't think he is for me. It feels so amazing to feel like this. I feel like a weight has been lifted off me and I feel less guilty now. He has given up and is just keeping himself to himself and going out, so I think he has accepted it.


I am going to look at a flatshare tonight, quite excited really. When I think about our lovely house now and how beautiful the garden is, it actually makes me sick that we will never get to have a summer there, we had such promises of big parties and BBQ's, but that won't happen now - and it makes me sick!


Mind you, if we both stayed living there now being seperated just for Summer's sake, the BBQ's wouldn't have been much fun would they. Plus it just would have made it all harder for us both and we may have slipped back into the relationship, by accident.


So my synopsis on my feelings today is that I feel good but a little sad, but not angry.

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Much progress! And I'm sure you can find a pretty park where you can host a bbq this summer. You seem more balanced about what wasn't working and how it in part had to do with how you two interacted, your dynamic and the way you two handled life's stresses. I think you'll feel even better and more relieved when you move out.

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