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Sexual abuse survivor...but not afraid of sex?


PhilliesFan001

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I feel so confused by this.

 

I was molested for a good number of years as a child and I'm having a very hard time dealing with it all these years later - but the one thing I've not had a problem with is sex.

 

I always read about how abuse/rape victims either become very promiscuous or completely terrified of sex, have strong physical aversions to sex, have flashbacks, mentally remove themselves from their bodies, etc...none of that has ever happened to me.

 

During sex sometimes things flash in my mind that i can't control about the abuse, but I never get upset, i've never shied away from sex, never been scared, never had to get past any barriers...

 

it's making me feel almost like maybe the abuse isn't quite as bad as I'm remembering it. If I was abused that badly, wouldn't sex terrify me?

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I am more inclined to think that older men are creepy, but it's never made me afraid of sex.

 

Are you saying you were molested by older men?

 

I'm just asking because I find it very strange that I'm able to actually enjoy sex after almost a decade of being molested by a few different people. It's shattered my life and my trust in every other way except sexually which I think is just bizarre. I dont understand it.

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I was sexually molested by my father many times when I was younger. I would say I have a very healthy sex life considering everything. I thank years of therapy for that, but your def not alone

 

So therapy really helped you? I've been toying with the idea of trying it. Would you recommend it?

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Are you saying you were molested by older men?

 

I'm just asking because I find it very strange that I'm able to actually enjoy sex after almost a decade of being molested by a few different people. It's shattered my life and my trust in every other way except sexually which I think is just bizarre. I dont understand it.

 

I would say that's a good thing though.

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I was abused when I was younger and I have never been afraid of sex.

 

I think it affects some people differently then others. Most people that are abused as kids won't have any children themselves or refuse to... I have never stopped wanting kids, even after the abuse.

 

That's true. I'm scared about having children.

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That's true. I'm scared about having children.

 

Can I ask what it is about having children you're scared about? For me it's that I won't be able to protect them, won't know who to trust with them...and because I was abused by a sibling also, I'm afraid of the idea of my kids ever sharing a bedroom.

 

Blah. I guess it does affect everyone differently.

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Can I ask what it is about having children you're scared about? For me it's that I won't be able to protect them, won't know who to trust with them...and because I was abused by a sibling also, I'm afraid of the idea of my kids ever sharing a bedroom.

 

Blah. I guess it does affect everyone differently.

 

I can't speak for greywolf but most survivors that don't want children are afraid of continuing the pattern with their children, even if there parent or relative wasn't the one to abuse them.

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Can I ask what it is about having children you're scared about? For me it's that I won't be able to protect them, won't know who to trust with them...and because I was abused by a sibling also, I'm afraid of the idea of my kids ever sharing a bedroom.

 

Blah. I guess it does affect everyone differently.

 

I'm afraid that I'll always be suspicious of my husband.

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I would most definitely recommend therapy. The problem is finding a good therapist that really is willing to work with you. I had to go through about 6 until I finally found the one that made me feel comfortable enough to open up to them. Even though it took a long time, the benefits are definitely worth waiting for

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