Fleasle Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Hello all, Dumpers who ended up reconciling with your exes...did you just wake up one day and decide "I want them back" or was it a gradual process where you started having doubts and after some time you decided to make contact? Was there something specific you felt happened in your life that made you feel you wanted to try again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GenoGeno Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 This is an interesting thread. I'd like to hear some of the answers as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wheel Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Well, it's really both. My experience was that while I may have been struck with an epiphany that I still had feelings for her and I'd made a mistake, it wasn't out of the blue. It was something that had been building beneath the surface for days, weeks, and months and eventually popped up into my consciousness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dre760 Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Well, it's really both. My experience was that while I may have been struck with an epiphany that I still had feelings for her and I'd made a mistake, it wasn't out of the blue. It was something that had been building beneath the surface for days, weeks, and months and eventually popped up into my consciousness. This post is going to give a lot of dumpees hope. Thank you for this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animelover6764 Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 This post is going to give a lot of dumpees hope. Thank you for this. Second it did for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ev1782 Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Second it did for me Hoenstly, i hate to pour water on the flame of hope but.... If a girl is the dumper chances are she will stick more to her guns. A girl has to realize she still loves you... And thats a tall order especially after a lot of time goes by. I mean girls genuinely are very analytical and will not comeback if they can make sense of a breakup and generally they can but ive seen it happen or the other options is,, letting her be and one day hopefully ya guys can restart communication, become friends, and fall in love all over again. Guys tend to be the ones that,,, miss a girl want her back type thing. We feel and react. A girl feels and analyzes and stays with her decision usually... I mean there is SLIGHT hope with girls,,, dont want to make it seem like it doesn't happen cause it did with a friend of mine who is now married to the girl who broke up with him for a year. Just dont hang your hat on that. If she comes back, she will need to see that you have moved on and improved your life and not waited for her to just comeback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Animelover6764 Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 i know lol and the future might surpise us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmajam Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 I hear it a lot on here, but I really don't think it matters if the dumper is male or female. I agree men and women handle it differently, but in the end it comes down to the dumper missing you or truly realizing what they lost and that they still love you. In my opinino the only difference is time and the way they process things. Guys tend to act irrationally, then realize what they did and try to come back. Women will think about it, weigh the options, then leave. Just because they put more thought into it doesn't mean they made the right decision. It will probably take women more time to realize their mistake because they were so sure and put so much effort into the original decision. In the end it something is either there or it's not there anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
getbiii Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 couldn't be said better jimmajam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rotxsen Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Agreed In the end it's a base of time and well luck? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Wheel Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 This post is going to give a lot of dumpees hope. Thank you for this. I should let you know that that answer was most definitely not worded to inspire hope. Of all of the relationships I've ended I've certainly had second thoughts on many of them, but I've only actually changed my mind once. Reconciliation is something that very much can happen, but it's not something you can wait around for. Really internalize that last sentence. The one time I came back around, the she was doing really well and was in a good place. I was able to see the girl that I'd been crazy about in the first place. Perhaps it's selfish, but if she'd been a wreck and unhappy I quite likely wouldn't have been swayed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
intolerable Posted April 14, 2010 Share Posted April 14, 2010 Haha! If you use conventional wisdom about the differences of men and women, it should be the other way around. Since men are usually the logical ones and the girls are the emotional ones. Strange how breaking up can change that, eh? I am female, and though I was not the dumper in my relationship, when he came back asking to be friends (he did it in every possible, annoying way), I didn't bother with him. It was a case of too little, too annoying, too late. No amount of blood and tears can make me want to be ever associated with him. Very well said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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