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We replaced the L word with 'Like' - dug ourselves a hole?


angela89

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We've been in a relationship for 7 months. He says he adores me, misses me all the time, would rather sit there a mope about missing me rather than get his day started, he craves my touch, etc.

 

I can say the same things for him too. I still get the butterflies right before I greet him at my door. The thought of being without him sometimes gets me teary eyed.

 

We've talked about the L word a couple of months ago and concluded that we weren't ready to say it. So we've settled with 'I like you' for the time being. It was cute and accurate for the time, but now we still say it. I've stopped saying it because i want to move on to something greater. Now when he says 'I like you', it translates to 'I don't love you' to me; and it makes me not want to say it first because he keep reaffirming the fact that he only LIKES me.

 

I asked him hypothetically, 'what if I said I loved you right now', and he replied: I would ask you to explain to me why you loved me.

 

...how should I go about this?

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Quick question: Why do you love him?

 

Is it just because he gives you the butterflies, or is there more to it than that? If so, what?

 

He's going to ask you to explain because love is more than just the passing of time in a relationship or the intense desire for their touch and presence. Until you can answer that, is it really fair to say those three words to him?

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Oh my god, just say it. You love him. You don't have to define love it doesn't have to be written in stone love is a feeling. If you love him you love him and you should tell him. All of this stuff about the "L word" is making love into something it's not. Love is not a commitment. Love is not a promise. Love is an emotion, a feeling, and if you feel like you love him you do.

 

Now as for why you love him only you know the answer to that. Just be honest and say what's in your heart.

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love and like are just concepts. i'm not going to say they're not different but the complexity far exceeds the labels we throw on them so just use whichever word feels right. If he asks why you feel like you love him you can just say that it seems more accurate then saying you like him.

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aNGELA:

 

He says he adores me, misses me all the time, would rather sit there a mope about missing me rather than get his day started, he craves my touch, etc.

 

That sounds more like a piece from a (not very good) movie script.

 

Hermes

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  • 2 weeks later...

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