Jane Doe Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Has anyone else grown up in a household where your mom and dad fought all the time? My parents fought like cats and dogs, with many of the fights becoming very scary. You never knew when they were going to bust out in an argument. I know they loved each other, but they both came from homes with parents who yelled, so that was their natural communication style. My problem is that as a grown adult, it has a profound impact on my relationships with men. After 20+ years of being in that type of environment, I am emulating it in my relationships. When I get mad, I start yelling and often hit below the belt. Even if my boyfriend has down nothing, I seem to want to argue. One ex told me I just can’t be happy; when things are good, I have to stir the pot because I’m so used to being around fighting…I don’t know how to function otherwise. I’ve already ruined two serious relationships because of it, and my current boyfriend, a wonderful man, said that if I can’t control things, he doesn’t see a future for us. I know I shock these poor guys because normally I’m a very cheerful, bubbly person, then I have these outbursts. The thing is, my parents could say the cruelest, more awful things to each other, then be fine a day later. I’ve found, however, that this is not normal and words really hurt. I’ve been told to “just stop it,” but it's easier said than done when all I know about relationshiops has involved fighting. Has anyone else had parents who fought a lot? How did it impact you? Was anyone able to “break the cycle” and change their relationship habits? Link to comment
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