Moving out of home

[red.ribbon]

I'm very close to my mum, in fact I think we are a little too co-dependent.

Growing up, she often relied on me for company and support, especially when another failed relationship with a man would upset her.

 

I would feel guilty for wanting to spend time with friends, and I find now even at 23 I still feel that way. She doesn't say things to make me feel guilty, it's just more so the fact that she doesn't find her own friends to socialize with. Her weekends consist of gardening and watching T.V. It makes me feel sad she doesn't have the confidence to go out and socialize.

 

It's about time I moved out, considering my age. I'm excited by the prospect on one hand. But on the other hand, it makes me feel sad for a number of reasons:

 

*I will miss spending time with my mum

*I will be leaving the house and bedroom I grew up in

*I feel guilty for leaving her by herself

 

Anyone else had similar feelings? I'm sure there are....just needed to vent and any advice would be welcomed

[lavenderdove]

Actually, lots of people are content with gardening and TV, so she may be fine with or without you living in the house.

 

One doesn't need a man to be happy, as many women discover. A good man adds a lot to life, but the WRONG man can make life miserable, so perhaps she is content as is rather than risking hooking up with the wrong man.

 

Just because you are moving out doesn't mean she won't be your Mum. You can make a point of visiting her a lot, especially right after you move out. Who knows, maybe your moving out might be the thing that stimulates her to get out and meet people!

[red.ribbon]

I'm not concerned with her finding a man, even just having a few female friends.

 

But yes, maybe gardening and t.v is enough to keep her happy for the moment.

 

It's just that she's had mental break downs in the past where I've had to look after her and make sure she eats and on a more serious side, doesn't do anything to harm herself.

 

It's also my own co-dependency....I just enjoy being around her and talking about whatever is on my mind.

[CaptainNapalm]

This may benefit her. If you are constantly spending time with her you're enabling her to not look for companionship elsewhere. Sooner or later you're going to have to move out and for her sake it's probably easier to develop friendships now rather than be forced to later (the younger the better). As for missing your bedroom and mother well that just gives you more incentive to visit her often. Nothing wrong with that.

[red.ribbon]

This may benefit her. If you are constantly spending time with her you're enabling her to not look for companionship elsewhere. Sooner or later you're going to have to move out and for her sake it's probably easier to develop friendships now rather than be forced to later (the younger the better).

 

Thanks, I really need to hear things like this, it really is for the best. She is still young enough to develop confidence and friendships before she gets too set in her ways.

 

I've told her that I'm looking for a place and she said that of course it's fine and she knew it would happen one day. But I may be moving out in a matter of weeks, I hope it isn't too sudden....