He can't make me happy

[rissamay]

So my BF and I had a pretty bad fight where he said something that really offended me and I ran away from him and told him I would talk to him the next day.

 

Obviously, knowing he loves me I was hoping he would apologize and try to make me feel better and cheer me up. Instead, per usual, he sat there and told me he has no confidence in fixing things between us. He told me he doesn't know what to do to make me happy again.

 

I love my boyfriend but when he does things to hurt me, he never really resolves the problem! I always have to brush everything off and pretend I have gotten over it, when I am really hurting inside.

 

So, what is a girl to do in such a situation? I am so sad without my bf when we fight but sometimes what he says or does really hurts me. I want him to fight for our relationship but he seems so hopeless. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't love me like I love him.

 

HELP!! =(

[monkeygirl12]

well I wish I could be positive but this is the same situation that MADE me break up with my bf of two years, he did mean things, he apologized but as he did the mean things he apologized less and less and then it got to where he didnt care. we had soooo many unresolved issues bc of him just wanting to always brush things under the rug. that at the end it was bad between us....

 

you have to realize that love isnt enough sometimes... some people arent ready for mature relationships..

[mca1975]

well I wish I could be positive but this is the same situation that MADE me break up with my bf of two years, he did mean things, he apologized but as he did the mean things he apologized less and less and then it got to where he didnt care. we had soooo many unresolved issues bc of him just wanting to always brush things under the rug. that at the end it was bad between us....

 

you have to realize that love isnt enough sometimes... some people arent ready for mature relationships..

 

So true, same reason here, whereas my boyfriend would not take any notice if I said I was hurt, he told me I was being stupid. Now it's over cause I just couldn't take not feeling loved and cared about, even though he claimed to love me so much!

[Seymore]

well I wish I could be positive but this is the same situation that MADE me break up with my bf of two years, he did mean things, he apologized but as he did the mean things he apologized less and less and then it got to where he didnt care. we had soooo many unresolved issues bc of him just wanting to always brush things under the rug.

 

 

I know what you mean. On top of that, WHEN my ex would apologize, she seemed to think it meant that it magically never happened and that I had to forget about it and wasn't allowed to still be upset. If I was still hurt, she'd tell me to get over it. For some reason, some people think an apology means they're off the hook or something.

[orchidrose]

I think your subject line says it all. Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who can't, and even refuses, to make you happy?

[Sanesoul]

If you don't have communication in your relationship, there's no point in being in it.

[rissamay]

do you think he's taking the easy way out or that he just doesn't know what to do? He says he wants to try to make things better but doesn't know what to do!

 

EDIT: we have lots of communication..... i always tell him how much he (unintentionally) hurts me, but it always discourages him. Then when something like this happens he cant find a way to make it right.

[orchidrose]

do you think he's taking the easy way out or that he just doesn't know what to do? He says he wants to try to make things better but doesn't know what to do!

 

EDIT: we have lots of communication..... i always tell him how much he (unintentionally) hurts me, but it always discourages him. Then when something like this happens he cant find a way to make it right.

 

Unfortunately, sometimes it doesn't matter whether he's taking the easy way out or whether he doesn't know what to do. The bottom line is that he's chosen not to fight, and a relationship takes two people to work. He doesn't want to pull his weight, and there's really no way you can make him.

 

I've found that in situations like these, a breakup is likely for the best. If it's to this extreme, where one person is so beaten down that they have no solutions for the (recurring) problems, the relationship probably won't work in the long haul.

[geekgirl4]

Unfortunately, sometimes it doesn't matter whether he's taking the easy way out or whether he doesn't know what to do. The bottom line is that he's chosen not to fight, and a relationship takes two people to work. He doesn't want to pull his weight, and there's really no way you can make him.

 

I've found that in situations like these, a breakup is likely for the best. If it's to this extreme, where one person is so beaten down that they have no solutions for the (recurring) problems, the relationship probably won't work in the long haul.

 

Exactly. If he doesn't want to try to repair an issue, then he isn't really into it. If he cared he would do something about it!

[newlife21]

i would say your bf really doesn't know what to do, not only him, i think most guys DO NOT know what to do when the gf is hurting. i hear the same problem from all my girlfriends, and, my own bf and ex all give me this same problem.

 

i do not know why it is so hard to pacify the girl. guys can say all the sweet things during good times, but during a fight, they become so stupid, and mean. maybe in their eyes we are stupid and mean too. sorry, i don't have answer, i face the same problem as you too.