How can i make him want me?

[Suze]

I feel my boyfriend and i are going through a bad patch at the moment, although he insists everythings ok when i ask him!

 

We've been together 3 years now and obviously the honeymoon period is long over and we dont have sex everyday like we did when we first met. However ive noticed that since the start of the year we are having sex less and less, currently its been two weeks since we last had sex.

 

Im far to shy to initate sex though, even though sometimes i would like to. Last week i had the flu, so obviously he didnt want to come near me and now i have nasty cold sores on my face from having a cold so he doesnt want to kiss me now, which is fair enough. I would like to initate sex tonight, but im scared he will reject me by saying he's too tired, which he has done before.

 

Is there a subtle way of making him want me? I thought about dressing up in his favourite stockings and underwear set, but again im too scared of rejection.

[Ac143]

Umm, first I would wait until your cold sores are 100% healed, if they aren't it would not surprise me if he turned you down. I get cold sores from time to time & I dont expect my husband to be anywhere near me at that time lol.

 

You dont have to do anything crazy to initate sex, since you are shy. You can start off by just kissing him or touching him down there and let one thing lead to another. Once you get more comfortable then you can add in all the other good stuff, dressing up etc.

[Cardinal]

Wait until you are over your cold sores and anything else of that nature.

 

Then just remove his clothes and start sucking on him.

 

I know you don't want to hear it and probably will completely ignore it, but it is best if you learn how to face rejection by actually facing it and practicing. There is nothing wrong with him turning you down some of the time for various reasons and it shouldn't be anything you have a bad emotional reaction to. You can train yourself to feel neutral about it.

[Taikero]

I don't think you have to wait until you're over the cold sores. There are so many other places to kiss than the lips.

 

Just start giving him a backrub or something, then start running your hands under his shirt or into his pants. He'll get the idea. Tell him to kiss your neck or focus on your breasts or something since he's got this cold sore excuse going on.

 

Preempt his "I'm tired" excuse by hiding his favorite energy drink or caffeinated beverage just around the corner.

[hexaemeron]

I'm sorry, but if you're too "shy" to ask for what you want, you have no business getting it.

[Baily]

for most guys...just take your top off....if he doesn't get aroused....he's a dead fish...

[anggrace]

You're going to have to learn to initiate if it's something you want. Baby steps...

 

Rejection isn't so bad when you know not to take it personally. It's okay if he's tired or not in the mood from time to time. It happpens to everyone. You have to trust his feelings for you and take a chance.

 

How is it when he kisses you? I think the kiss says a lot more than the frequency of sex. If his kisses become cold and short, then Id be concerned that there is something wrong. Otherwise, it's sounds just like the normall intimate climate change that happens in LTR's.