I'm losing control on things. I need some advice...

[SQSLW]

I've been seeing a guy for 2 years now. He lives over an hour away and we see each other every 3/4 weeks on weekends. Because it's complicated we can't stay over at each other's houses so we only see each other for a few hours and whilst we're out.

 

In August I will be moving to where he lives to attend a college there which I've wanted to go to for many years (and I wanted to go there before I met him so this isn't a move to be with him) I was going to live with him and I was really looking forward to it so I'd get to see him all the time.

 

Everything was going great but now he's had trouble at work and he needs a new job. There are no jobs in his area so he might have to move elsewhere to get a new job which would mean that he'd again be living miles away from me.

 

I'll live with my brother (who lives there also) if my guy does move away but I don't want that. I want to be with him. Anyways, it's all just getting me down and I'm not sure what to do. I've spoken to him about it and he's said he'll try his best to get a job near where he lives now but he can't stay in the bad job so if it comes to it he's going to have to move away.

 

Is there anything I can do? Does anyone have any ideas? I'm just really wound up and need calming down. I'm anxious as it will be the first time I'll be living away from home and I want certainty which I just don't think I'm going to get until I know where he's going to live...

 

Any ideas or help will be really appreciated. I just need some kind of reassurance or help.

 

Thanks for your time, sorry for the length

Sarah

[Xylitol]

Help him find a job in the new area that you two want to live in, its your future right? So fight for it with all your might. If i where you id be looking for a new job for him right now, dont let anything or anyone take your future away from you. Fight for it. No one is going to make your life work out for you, people can advice and guide you, but winning the war called life is up to you.

[SQSLW]

That makes a lot of sense. I should just face up to it. I suppose I was just looking for an easy way out.

 

I know what you mean about the job thing but I mentioned helping him to him the other day and he was a bit closed off about it. He's best at that kind of thing on his own is there anything I could say that could make him want to stay more?

 

He doesn't seem as determined as I'd like him to be he's very relaxed about it and like you say it's my future so I'm deffinately no where near as relaxed.

[shadowklepto]

you've managed this long with distance, what a little longer? Work is a * * * * * but he can always find something else in another industry if he really doesn't want to move.

 

Men like to be providers and such they like to achieve things by their own means. being supportive is really the best thing you can do. Sure it'll be bogus but as you've said you've been in the relationship for 2 years with distance and you've managed. Communication is key he knows how you feel you know how he feels.

 

Sadly money makes the world go round and getting it and keeping it is a problem. just try to hang in there and remember you'll still have your brother for support.

[SQSLW]

Thanks for the help guys, I do really appreciate it