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Great dates then...silence


Lostheart87

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Ok so I just started to date again recently, and I have been on a few bad ones already.

 

I tried a dating site just to see who was on there (I don't really have time to go out and meet new people because of work/school so I thought what could it hurt?). Strangely enough I met a girl on there who worked at the same job I did. We work at a hospital so it is very rare to run into each other. Needless to say we hit it off pretty strong. We had lunch everyday and would talk about completely random things. Communication did not seem forced at all.

 

The cool thing is that we are basically exactly alike, in age and in personality. So my first thought is "holy crap how did I not meet you here before?"

 

We went out on an official "date" on Saturday and it went great. We had lunch and then caught a movie. The entire time we getting along great. I put my arm around her shoulder during the movie and then we held hands during the end (the holding hands thing was of her doing).

 

In the end I drove her back to her car and I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek goodbye and we went our separate ways. The only thing is that when I gave her the kiss she said "your so cute." Now I don't know what women think about that, but that comment is toxic to a guy...it basically means "You are such a kind person but not what I am looking for." So that was a red flag for me...but the only one for the entire day.

 

I text her that night telling her I had a great time, and she didn't reply.

 

I called her later on this afternoon to chat a bit, just to see what was up and she did not answer and never called back.

 

I know the rules of this game (I hate games), and I will not be calling her again unless she calls me first. But what the heck is she thinking? Did I go wrong somewhere, or was I just blind the entire time that she wasn't interested? Or is she actually interested just scared to call me? I would love to go out with her again, but I don't think she will be calling me back. Any thoughts?

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The only thing is that when I gave her the kiss she said "your so cute." Now I don't know what women think about that, but that comment is toxic to a guy...it basically means "You are such a kind person but not what I am looking for." So that was a red flag for me...but the only one for the entire day.

I would guess exactly this. For whatever reason, it just doesn't sound like she was feeling that "spark". There's not much you can do about it, as it's not something that can be forced. You just have to accept it and move on the best you can.

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You did nothing wrong so never think it's something wrong with you - perhaps she just wasn't attracted. You cannot blame yourself for that, just as another woman cannot blame you for not finding them attractive.

 

It's ok, don't fret And my suggestion, do not play games. Do not let women play games.

 

I have been in a perfectly healthy, loving and connected relationship and we never had to play games. I think it's unnecessary.

 

You just be you and don't expect much out of people, pretty soon you'll see how little you are disappointed.

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Give it a couple more days, maybe a week then contact her one last time. If no response then let it go. There's a whole bunch of possible reasons for her behavior that may have absolutley nothing to do with you at all so try not to take it personally.

 

Not sure if I'd read much into the "you're so cute" comment. I've heard that and have still gotten places (plus I'm not really cute haha). Sometimes girls just don't know what to say when you kiss them!

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She's not interested. She probably made the most out of the date by getting along with you and getting a bit touchy (perhaps she was somewhat attracted to you) but after she left she concluded that you're not someone she'd want to see again. My advice to you is don't dwell and fish for someone new.

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She's not interested. She probably made the most out of the date by getting along with you and getting a bit touchy (perhaps she was somewhat attracted to you) but after she left she concluded that you're not someone she'd want to see again. My advice to you is don't dwell and fish for someone new.

 

I agree... this is just what i had gone thru and I hate it! I don't like being led on!

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I'm with the others too, I think she felft some attraction, but with the "you're so cute" line - Id be right in thinking that was a red flag. Get out while you can mate. If she calls you - GREAT, but don't hold your breathe. Give it a week to see if you hear anything, maybe send one last text, if nothing just forget about her.

 

I had this, but we met up 6 times in total and I completely fell for her, then she gave the friends line....don't let the same happen to you!!

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