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boyfriend caught messaging friend


elevenlock

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basically, long story short, my boyfriend has had an attraction to my one of my friends and he went as far as to message her and ask when she was available to be taken out. he had apologized for the whole ordeal in the morning (days later), but never specified the reason. My friend later told me on the same day that he apologized that he was being suggestive and that's when I flipped out. He has continued to apologize since then and says that he loves me, but I don't know if he's ready for a relationship anymore because of that action. Should I stay with him or break up?

 

(And we've only be going out for two months)

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basically, long story short, my boyfriend has had an attraction to my one of my friends and he went as far as to message her and ask when she was available to be taken out.

 

If he is already doing this two months into your relationship which should be the honeymoon "I only have eyes for you" period, then it sounds to me like he is not really that committed to you...his interest is not with you. I would definitely dump him.

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you've only been going out for two months so you;re pretty early in the relationship... just make sure you set up the boundaries loud and clear... don't give him dramatic ultimatums like stumping ur foot down, but if you look at it positively, this is a perfect opportunity to very graciously let him know that going behind ur back like that is both unattractive and disgusting and you really thought better of him... i think it would be wise of you to take it really slowly with him and dont get too involved emotionally, because he now has to prove his worth to you...

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definitely get rid of him. Either he doesn't know what he wants, or he's using you until something better comes along. The fact that he messaged your friend clearly shows his mind has been wandering. He only apologized cause he got caught.

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That's breakup material right there for me.

I could care less if it had been years, but you are fortunate to have caught this red flag sooner rather than later!

I'd say lucky you, leave the guy. That was blatant disrespect towards you, he may say sorry but that just means he's sorry you caught him. He knew very well what he was doing before and during his actions. If he really wasn't mindful of his actions, then heck! that's bad news too!

There's no excuse for that kind of behavior, it's a lose-lose situation for him.

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He's doing this only 2 months into the relationship? I would drop him like a bad habit. The fact that he was hitting on your friend shows that he doesn't care about you or your feelings. The only reason he is trying to apologize now is

 

A. You know about it

B. Your friend was smart enough to let you know, meaning she is not interested in him, and if you dump him, he doesn't exactly have a plan B at this point.

 

Dump him and find someone who is mature enough to at least stay committed to you.

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This happened to me a couple weeks ago. My boyfriend and I share a phone plan and I started snooping which I never do and happened to run accross text conversations between the same two numbers late at night even times of night when I'm sure I was there with him. Anyhow I learned that it was a girl he was with when we were on a break. It only happened like once a month but still I was furious and all shakey. I simply said you can't stop someone from doing something they obviously wanted to and did. The only thing you can do is to reevaluate how you view the relationship whether you want to continue connecting with him or keep him at a distance that's all you can do.

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