How long until you have feelings for someone?

[Chloe03]

Ive gone on a few dates with this guy, hes extremely nice, sweet and outgoing. I find him good looking and I also used to work with him years ago which I find is also a bonus since I already know him a little. But I'm not sure if I'm into him or not! Ive only hung out with him 3 times, and I know it usually takes me a while to really get into a guy... but I'm afraid to lead him on cause I know hes a great guy. Hes also very much a city boy where I usually fall for the more athletic type, but hes up for trying new things which is also a good thing.

 

Well my question is how long does it take you guys to fall for someone? Do you usually date guys even if they aren't your type? And does it work out in the end?

 

Thanks in advance!!

[IvantheAvg]

You say alot of positive things but certainly no excitement in your writing about him. Chemistry is a tricky thing, I'm not so sure its just about types. I'd say if you are unsure if you are into to him or not after being with him 3 times I'd say your not. You don't want to be in a relationship just because...you want to feel something special about it.

[pinkelephant]

it really depends on the timing and the guy. i wouldn't worry about it and just enjoy his company and see how it goes. there's no point in putting pressure on yourself to make a decision so early. people take time to figure themselves out, there's nothing wrong with that.

[teabee]

I don't think 3 times is enough to determine how you feel about someone. It takes longer than that to get to know someone. Personally I would keep seeing him until I felt for sure that he was a No. Anything up to that point could develop into a Yes! I don't know that going on a few more dates is leading him on. That's always something I'm concerned about too, so maybe someone else will have something wise to say about that!

 

I think it's a GOOD idea to date people that aren't your "type." Expands your views and teaches you what things you want in a person and what things you don't need (I doubt you need an athletic type. There are more important aspects to a person.)

 

(Super cute puppy in your avatar btw)

[BriarRose]

You say alot of positive things but certainly no excitement in your writing about him. Chemistry is a tricky thing, I'm not so sure its just about types. I'd say if you are unsure if you are into to him or not after being with him 3 times I'd say your not. You don't want to be in a relationship just because...you want to feel something special about it.

 

I agree. You would feel more enthusiasm about seeing him by the 4th date. You also don't mention being attracted to him (although you say he is good looking, which doesn't necessarily equate to being attracted to someone). Do feel any sexual attraction towards him? At all? Without that, it won't matter how much you have in common or how nice he is.

[citymouse]

Well my question is how long does it take you guys to fall for someone? Do you usually date guys even if they aren't your type? And does it work out in the end?

 

Thanks in advance!!

 

When I was online dating I wasn't looking for someone who was "my type" as much as someone who had certain character/personality traits - kindness, intelligence, a sense of humor, compassion, etc.

 

I had almost no rules about a prospect's job, income or looks, so basically I was willing to give almost anyone a try as long as he was a nice guy and was interested. I decided in advance that I was willing to give the chemistry some time to develop, if necessary.

 

I started dating one man, who was very nice, but I just wasn't feeling that "click." I hated to let him go because he seemed perfect otherwise. I went out with him four times and by the fourth time, when he tried to kiss me, I knew it wasn't going to work and I broke it off.

 

This was at the same time I met the man who is currently my b/f. When we first met up I just thought he was really nice. But by our first date I could feel the sparks. I don't think he kissed me until the fourth date? (can't remember)... and I was getting concerned and very worried about that. But when he finally made his move, it all worked out beautifully and things snowballed from there.

 

I would definitely hang in there for a good three or four dates before writing someone off. If you don't feel any physical chemistry at that point, then it's probably not going to happen.