How you handle that?

[Anusha]

Lets say you have a LDR and set up to chatt on Saturdays.How you would do if something else come up? Like for example a friend asked you out.You would cancel the chatt to go or just would tell your friend that you cant make it because you already have something else set?

[Jd1983]

Can you not reschedule another time to talk to your SO? That way you can hang out with your friend and speak to your SO.

[Anusha]

Can you not reschedule another time to talk to your SO? That way you can hang out with your friend and speak to your SO.

 

Ok but if that happens often,like every weekend? It wouldnt seem you just chatt with him when you have nothing better to do?

[Jd1983]

It doesn't have to happen every weekend.

 

You just have to compromise. You can't just ignore your friend and your SO at the same time, all the time.

 

I'm sure if it happens from time to time it's perfectly understandable.

[Anusha]

It doesn't have to happen every weekend.

 

You just have to compromise. You can't just ignore your friend and your SO at the same time, all the time.

 

I'm sure if it happens from time to time it's perfectly understandable.

 

Ok so one weekend you tell your SO to reschedule for example and the next you just tell your friend that you cant make it?

[LilBear]

I don't think you need to talk the whole day, or spend the whole saturday with your friend

[Anusha]

I don't think you need to talk the whole day, or spend the whole saturday with your friend

 

Ok but due to the time diference and our work the only time possible for both of us to be online is at night.So we have to chose either we do the chatt or go out,it cant be both.

[penelope13]

So you guys definitely decided that you are a romantic couple again? When are you planning to see each other?

 

If this is a true relationship, your SO will understand that sometimes other things in your life will come up and you have to reschedule. It will be in his own interest to know that you have friends that will keep you busy and happy while he will not be able to spend time with you

[Anusha]

So you guys definitely decided that you are a romantic couple again? When are you planning to see each other?

 

If this is a true relationship, your SO will understand that sometimes other things in your life will come up and you have to reschedule. It will be in his own interest to know that you have friends that will keep you busy and happy while he will not be able to spend time with you

 

No we are not a couple.Actualy I was considerating going back to NC even since Im not much happy about how our contact have been.It is still the same as before,he isnt around much and doesnt participate as I think he should.He treat our chatts as something casual while I was puting a lot of importance of them.I asked that because he said he couldnt get online on Friday(he didnt say but I guess he probably was going out) and I might confess that kind of bothered me.When we were together we used to fight about that often.I used to fell that canceling the chatt to go out was not giving importance to that and showing that he just chatted when he had nothing better to do and he didnt see any problem on that.So that is why I decided to create this thread,to see what other people think about that.

[CaptainNapalm]

Can't answer your question on the information you provided. That would depend. For example, if I haven't seen my friend in a month or two and spent the past week chatting with my LDR partner then I would cancel the chat. If on the other hand saturday was my only opportunity to chat with my LDR partner while I saw my friend just two days ago and go out with them frequently I'd cancel on my friend. Use your judgement and implement balance. Either answer is correct

[penelope13]

Anusha,this is a bit crazy (sorry the expression): for 8 months you were doing quite well, made new friends, didn't have a need to post; now that you are back in touch with him, you are reverting back: writing post after post about how unhappy you are about the amount of attention/communication you get from him. You are writing as if you were in a relationship with him, while he clearly only sees you as a chat buddy.

 

This is not how relationships should be, not even LDRs. If someone wants to have a relationship with you they would clearly be interested in being in touch with you as often as is reasonably possible. You would be their priority.

 

Do not stop making friends, having a life, just because you are hoping to chat with him, although this might not even happen, since for him it does not have the same significance as it does for you.

[Anusha]

Actualy we are more than friends.He said that he isnt over me yet and still has fellings for me and I said the same.But we dont know if things can work between us so that is why we didnt get back together.There is the distance,our issues.It just isnt much simple.So we keep chatting now and see how things go.

[Convict7]

In my opinion, when you can't be with your SO any day you desire(as in a LDR) making a date to chat on a specific day/time is as close to a real date as you might get. Canceling a date, even if it is a chat date, should be a very rare thing.

 

As was said before, there could be a rare occasion when an out of town friend is only around that day and you have to change plans. But putting off your chat dates for casual going out with friends over and over is disrespectful. The other person would be looking forward to this chat time together and get disappointed.

 

I personally would arrange hanging out with the friend around my SO. He/she would always be my top priority. Rare things happen that force you to put them aside but 99% of the time my SO takes precedent.