bf's mom

[WAlien]

i know she's used to asking me for things but they were small ones at first so i did it.

 

but now she's gone to ask me to get a her a good wallet like a gucci... i don't even have a gucci myself and i'm a uni student.

 

i feel like telling her i couldn't find a nice one or something but then i feel like i'm not truthful and it makes me crazy guilty. I can't tell her I don't have the money for it cause then she might question me about my budgets and stuff and i honestly think it's no business of hers.

 

i don't think i've asked her for much and she does cook me breakfast when i stay over at my bf's but still... this feels almost too much.

 

i was also planning to move out with my bf at first but now it sounds like she wants to come along too. not that I'd hate it but just a little awkward for a young couple and i feel like i'd rather do it for my parents than for her. And she's the type that would expect the girl of the relationship to do everything for the guy. i think i would get really pissed off one day and have a really big fight with her. It also feels like if she comes along with us, it'd cause more fights between my bf and me. She also has a nice house herself and husband and other people living with her so i don't really know why she is doing all this.

 

And no, my bf is not her only child or anything.

 

Also i haven't told my bf any of this. I jsut didn't want to feel like going behind her back and telling him. Or i'm afraid this might be what he actually expects me to do for his family.

[Pappilion]

Have a chat with your boyfriend. Because it would be better to find out his "expectations" now while you've managed to pick up on it early. The whole Gucci thing I think is out of order. My bf's family is well off and we have a LDR i'm in london and he in sweden. I am extremely poor in the recession and his family don't understand - they've been making big issues and expect me to fly to sweden on alternate months and stay for a week (I CANT AFFORD THAT!). So I had a chat with mine and he was very supportive. I didn't like telling his family I was in debt, but I knew that one day they'd question it and I'd rather be embarrassingly honest and have a legitimate leg to stand on rather than make up lies, which can be tiring and worse in the long run. You don't have to give the details but explaining that as a student with different priorities you cant afford gucci is totally acceptable.

BTW I totally agree with her not coming when you guys choose a flat or house. Politely remind them and your BF that the relationship consists of only you two. Bring her when you've chosen it. GL p.s. some parents can be so clingy >