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Breaking up w/ his brother's gf


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So I have this daunting task ahead of me. I need to somehow break it off with my ex's brother's gf. She and I made a pact when we started being friends that we would stay friends, even if we broke up with one of the brothers. We were friends for a year and a half.

However, I went on a walk with her the other day and she didnt bother to mention to me that my ex's mom was going to be at her house.

Also, she invited me to her son's birthday party which is weird considering my ex will be there.

Obviously, this coming after breaking up w/ him for only two months brings me back to square one.

I realized that I cant continue this friendship. I feel it would be toxic for both him and I to continually hear about each other's lives.

Therefore, I want to cut ties with her.

Im just wondering what would be the least harmful way?

I really want to just write her an email and explain why I cant continue to be friends but some people think I should talk to her over the phone or in person.....

any suggestions or any thought on breaking/keeping ties with ex's family members.

I just really dont feel strong enough to handle hearing about who he is going to end up with next.

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Definitley talk to her in person. You have to do whats best for you...but still...you broke the pact. Somehow i think she needs you as a friend. Is not the friendship of value to you.

 

Cannot you just evolve and get past it? Maybe keep alittle distance or tell her to keep cdrtain things off the plate for now?

 

True friends are rare and hard to find and i think more important to some degree than your significant others.

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If you really like her and want to be friends with her (aside from this) - why not just talk to her? TELL her that it's over between you and your ex and that it makes you uncomfortable - at least at the moment - to hear about your ex or his family. That you need distance from them.

 

If she is a friend, she should understand. If she doesn't understand and keeps going at it - at THAT point, I think it's fair to 'break it off'. At least, at that point, she'd understand why.

 

I think you owe it to her to at least try to keep your word.

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I wish I could evolve but Im still in love with my ex. My ex was growing pot so I dont feel like its something I want ties to really. Plus she is asking me to go to a function where he will be. I wonder if she thinks we might reconcile? I have made it very clear to her that Im not interested in that.

youre right though, she does need to hear it face to face. I would want that from her.

Maybe time is what I need. She has been a good friend, but I value my sanity above all else. I feel she is just too close to the fire

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I wish I could evolve but Im still in love with my ex. My ex was growing pot so I dont feel like its something I want ties to really. Plus she is asking me to go to a function where he will be. I wonder if she thinks we might reconcile? I have made it very clear to her that Im not interested in that.

youre right though, she does need to hear it face to face. I would want that from her.

Maybe time is what I need. She has been a good friend, but I value my sanity above all else. I feel she is just too close to the fire

 

Well I think you are justified then. Especially growing pot graduates him from individual user to felony dealer.

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I wish I could evolve but Im still in love with my ex. My ex was growing pot so I dont feel like its something I want ties to really. Plus she is asking me to go to a function where he will be. I wonder if she thinks we might reconcile? I have made it very clear to her that Im not interested in that.

youre right though, she does need to hear it face to face. I would want that from her.

Maybe time is what I need. She has been a good friend, but I value my sanity above all else. I feel she is just too close to the fire

 

Ivan is right. Good friends are hard to come by. It is not she who is growing pot, but him.

 

Perhaps you could tell her, as a friend, all that you have said here. That you still have feelings, it is too hurtful to hear about or be invited to things where her brother is, and that you want to distance yourself from his pot growing activities.

 

If you feel you need some time away through no fault of her own, then let her know that. If she is a real friend she will understand and you can spend more time with her when you feel ready.

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yeah im going to tell her the truth. Its her fiances brother actually which means shes not directly blood relation, but soon she will be.

I know that she will want to stay close to me, but I think right now I need some space and she's mature enough to understand that. thanks to all for your input.

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