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Weekday dating


doesitmatter30

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Does anybody else here have to do all your dating on weekdays? I'm finding its a major drag and costs many opportunities.

 

I take care of my grandfather from Friday at 5pm to Sunday at 7am. I take up the day his caregiver is off and he has to have somebody with him all the time. Basically I do it because he is my grandfather, and if he hires people for one day a week, he'll get random people all the time, which he doesn't like and I can't say I blame him. Also the extra money helps out in a big way.

 

So what can I do? it's easy meeting people during the week, the hard part is meeting someone who can date at another time other than Friday or Saturday nights. Everybody's got their lives going during the week and nobody seems to be able to date from Sunday night to Thursday night. Am I just screwed?

 

I even used to be able to go off with my ex I have a daughter with, to go do kids stuff and I cant even do that now. I text her some during the week, but she's got a full schedule (for real) so unless she's off in the early morning, I can't even hang out with her. I feel stranded.

 

I took this job because I love my grandfather, and need the extra money, but now when I'm here i sit and obsess on what I can't do. and I have a lot of time to think, because its not bad helping him when he needs it, what sucks is sitting around waiting for him to need something, which isn't too often. I read and surf the net, but I'm sick of books and I think I've seen the whole internet twice. I'd like to figure out something, because I truly don't mind at all being with my grandfather, paid or not, except that I'm using the only good days of the week to do it, and then I'm totally free all week and nobody will come out. okay I'm done complaining for now...ha ha

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First, I think it is really great that you are stepping up to the plate and taking care of your grandfather!

 

When I was online dating a few months ago I had as many dates during the week as on weekends, but then I am in my 40s so maybe it's different for my age group?

 

I will say though that I think if a young woman is really interested in you, she would be willing to see you no matter what your schedule. I think too that it reflects really nicely on your character and your loyalty to your family -- and IMO that would be something that a nice girl would find really attractive in you.

 

Good luck and hang in there!

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I have been a caregiver too for my mother, and i understand the limitations that places on your life.

 

BUT you have to not stop your own life and something important like dating to take care of a relative. You need to have a balanced life, and many caregivers really burn out from not recognizing that and making sure they have a balance.

 

What you can do is recognize that you should not have to give up everything for your grandfather, and that if he has to have someone else caring for him for a few hours on a Friday and a Saturday night, then so be it. He may not like it, but you shouldn't have to give up your dating life so that he can have you get him a cup of tea!

 

I would try to find someone who is the equivalent of a baby sitter, who you can call if you set up a date for a Friday or Saturday night, to watch your grandfather for a few hours.

 

If you do find someone in your dating you get serious with, you can have that person come to your grandfathers to spend time with you, and perhaps find a more permanent arrangement to have someone else take over some of the duties on weekends.

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Personally, I like weekday dating...places are much less crowded. Sure, there may be less women available for weekday dates, but that's a good thing...less choices makes the decision easier when a good one comes around. I mean, you only need to find one good one...so who cares if all the others only want the weekends?

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First, I think it is really great that you are stepping up to the plate and taking care of your grandfather!

 

When I was online dating a few months ago I had as many dates during the week as on weekends, but then I am in my 40s so maybe it's different for my age group?

 

I will say though that I think if a young woman is really interested in you, she would be willing to see you no matter what your schedule. I think too that it reflects really nicely on your character and your loyalty to your family -- and IMO that would be something that a nice girl would find really attractive in you.

 

Good luck and hang in there!

 

 

Thank you! I appreciate that! I too was thinking that yeah the good ones wouldn't mind, but its getting past the early stages where nobodys too involved that can be tricky. I'm not too needy, but I do need something...

 

 

I have been a caregiver too for my mother, and i understand the limitations that places on your life.

 

BUT you have to not stop your own life and something important like dating to take care of a relative. You need to have a balanced life, and many caregivers really burn out from not recognizing that and making sure they have a balance.

 

What you can do is recognize that you should not have to give up everything for your grandfather, and that if he has to have someone else caring for him for a few hours on a Friday and a Saturday night, then so be it. He may not like it, but you shouldn't have to give up your dating life so that he can have you get him a cup of tea!

 

I would try to find someone who is the equivalent of a baby sitter, who you can call if you set up a date for a Friday or Saturday night, to watch your grandfather for a few hours.

 

If you do find someone in your dating you get serious with, you can have that person come to your grandfathers to spend time with you, and perhaps find a more permanent arrangement to have someone else take over some of the duties on weekends.

 

 

Right now, it's just getting to be a pain. I'm basically starting over friend and dating wise, as the people I was hanging around are either jerks or start doing hard drugs. ha ha maybe its me making them turn to drugs As for a baby sitter, if I have to go off, my mother can come over there for a bit, though I don't really want her to be stuck with him because if something happens she'd have to pick him up out of the floor and he weighs like 200lbs of dead weight. It definitely would not be a problem for a girlfriend to come visit at his house, as his normal caregiver does this once or twice a week. I do have lots of free time here, just can't leave. So a lot of my problem is that If I did have a LTR type of girl, I would let go of watching him all the time, but I don't want to ditch him just to go see someone I might date once and never see again. I do have it worked out with his caregiver that we can workout things if i want a weekend off or he wants a longer weekend. so i can get like one weekend a month off. I just wish he took Monday and Tuesdays off.

 

 

Personally, I like weekday dating...places are much less crowded. Sure, there may be less women available for weekday dates, but that's a good thing...less choices makes the decision easier when a good one comes around. I mean, you only need to find one good one...so who cares if all the others only want the weekends?

 

I like going off during the week too as a general rule. But when I'm working long days and such, I give up on that real quick, so I'm not holding it against people, I know how it is, I'm just in a slump or something. This week will be good as my buddy from the next state over has 10 days off and will be here, so that's cool. Maybe I'm just being impatient. I'm famous for it I guess right now its just a pain in the butt finding regular friends and dates when I'm used to weekends. It may be thats its so much easier on weekends, just a higher percentage of people out all at once.

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Your mother has your cellphone # to call you to come back home if something happens with your grandfather she can't handle while you're on a date, so there are ways to work around issues like that.

 

I think the problem is meeting and finding a steady girlfriend, so you should just try to date until you find someone you really like, then you she could spend time with you at your grandfather's place and go out some during the week.

 

The point is too you have to be careful that it doesn't become a situation where you give up your social life totally due to your grandfather... that isn't healthy for you and i'm sure that you can make arrangements so that both of your needs are taken care of, it you work at it. Caregiving can make you feel really lonely and isolated, and that's not good for you, so you need to work out flexible ways to take care of EVERYONE'S needs, not just your grandfather.

 

Depending on his health condition, many Alzheimer's/senility patients can live for 20 years or more after diagnosis, so you may think this is a temporary situation and it may not be, unless he has a terminal disease where you know this will only last a few months rather than years. It's OK for you to sacrifice some social life caring for a terminally ill relative for a few months, but if it is a longer term issues such as just old age or dementia, that could go on years and years and you need to pace yourself and keep up a normal life for yourself.

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So far his condition is, he has parkinsons, has had double knee replacement and he's just getting senile. So it's not terminal, but he is 91. He could go at any time, or live for 10 more years. I'd bet on the 10 more years though, because he's just the toughest man I ever met anywhere. The main problem with him is he cannot walk, but sometimes he forgets he can't walk and he slides off in the floor, he doesnt actually fall, but then he's stuck and its a major pain to get him back up because he's heavy and its picking up dead weight

 

I used to take care of him some on weekdays and that was no problem ever. I just haven't been restricted on a weekend since I was 17. I'm still figuring on how to make it all work, but no I'm not going to let it run my life. I'm actually out of work right now, but the deal is when I do get a job, I wont be doing this anymore or maybe I'll do it some just not as much as i do now. I just have no idea when I'll get a job, it may be a year, hopefully much much less. It wouldn't be so bad in the winter time, because i hate winter, but it sucks in the summer.

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I'm just sitting here thinking CRAP. My best friend is at a rodeo, and my ex is at the park with the kids. I'm here typing and downloading music. Well this is gonna help my collection as I've downloaded like 700 new songs today. Well when I get a date, we'll have something to listen to. ha ha!

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I tend to go out more in the week just because I go to a lot of concerts and they always seem to happen during the week in my area for some reason. I know some people don't like going out in the week because they have to get up early the next morning - or they work late - but I meet up with different friends. I'm sure if you met someone who was interested she'd be ok to go on a date in the week. She'd probably think it was really nice and caring of you that you look after your grandfather. Would you be able to bring her to his house at the weekend if you got to know a girl? Do you always have to be in the same room that he is in incase something happens?

 

To be honest, I think it's boring when people only go out at weekends. It's like they have such a monotonous existence - work in the week, then going out at weekends. I think it is more refreshing to go out in the week on different days than just doing the same as everyone else.

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