Flirting 101

[musicguy]

I've been very unsuccessful in the world of dating since I was 13. I've had a hard time talking to females due to constant rejection and other "excuses" I've been given. Since dating online has been unsuccessful. I'm going to have to get out there and start meeting people in real life. I can talk to my female co-workers just fine because I've worked with them for years, but when it comes to someone on the street or someone new whom I find attractive I don't know what to do. I'm socially stupid when it comes to talking to females. I seriously don't know how to flirt.

[Shudder]

i can't flirt with someone who isn't similar to me in terms of personality

[easyguy]

Flirting isn't something you can just learn by someone telling you how to do it. Flirting is just a form of humor, a way at poking fun at what someone says and pushing his/her buttons. The best way to develop a sense of humor is by being around those who have it and use it well. You learn how to flirt by first having a sense of humor and knowing by social experience when to not take something seriously. Pay attention and relax. Listen and be in the conversation.

 

Although it may not seem helpful, being yourself is the best piece of advice out there.

[teabee]

First of all, stop thinking of yourself as a flirting failure since age 13. That's a negative schema that may be mentally holding you back.

 

If you can talk to female coworkers just fine, you are not socially stupid. You obviously have social skills. Maybe you are psyching yourself out when it comes to other women?

[Jpo]

Everyone is a flirting failure at 13.

[dr_styles]

I think you're beating yourself up a bit about not being able to approach new/random people. I wish I had that ability too, but not many people can really cold approach, unless they're walking sex on legs to women.

[greywolf]

I think most people have trouble approaching strangers. All the guys I dated, I met at school or through friends.

[Anyway]

I think most people have trouble approaching strangers. All the guys I dated, I met at school or through friends.

I agree, it's something our parents and society has somehow taught us along the way. How to get rid of it? Face your fear and start talking to random people.

[agatha]

Everyone is a flirting failure at 13.

 

that said, acknowledged, understood and accepted, get over it.

 

who you were doesn't matter at all, and who you are is just the sketch of who you can be. today better than yesterday, tomorrow better than today, you know? you can't become a master in flirting without practicing it, so practice. a lot.

[xyzzzz]

why do u have to flirt with someone u find attractive? cant u just talk to her as usual? and maybe she'll find the nature u attractive too and u guys may end up together.

[easyguy]

why do u have to flirt with someone u find attractive? cant u just talk to her as usual? and maybe she'll find the nature u attractive too and u guys may end up together.

 

Flirting makes it easier for the other person to be comfortable around you, and you around him/her. It breaks the tension by way of laughter. A stern conversation is fine if you are just friends, but flirting ups the anty and can create sexual energy. Although not everyone who flirts gets involved with that person (it could just be friendly flirting or just done for the sake of doing it), but often, it's clear indication of some kind of interest. When you are clear, you are confident. There is less room for misunderstanding.

 

You don't have to flirt, but it shatters the ice when talking to him/her "as usual" (which could also be flirting) could very well send you to the friend zone.

[agatha]

flirting is not just batting eyelashes. it is anything you do that may send a sign to the other person that you might be willing to be more than friends - even if you are just joking about it.

 

it's a good way to make friends for sure, you can start with a fake flirt and then break the ice with a 'lol, now, seriously, could you please just hand me that book at the higher shelf?'

 

I see flirting as a good way to soften up an already rough, cold, lonely and dangerous existence. you don't HAVE to do it. actually, there's nothing in life you HAVE to do, except for breathing, eating and drinking water. but well, you can choose to do things just for fun, can't you?

[xyzzzz]

Flirting makes it easier for the other person to be comfortable around you, and you around him/her. It breaks the tension by way of laughter.

laugh can always break the tension . u can also laugh a lot without being flirty cant u?

just laugh as being friendly,cant that make other ppl comfortable around u? maybe she cant catch the sign that u like her..but at least it wont ruin the situation..she can feel ur nice and friendly and that's a good start isnt it

[xyzzzz]

it is anything you do that may send a sign to the other person that you might be willing to be more than friends - even if you are just joking about it.

 

you can choose to do things just for fun, can't you?

 

I don get the idea "flirt even if ur joking"? Im quite straightforward so I dont flirt to ppl when I dont mean it.And if someone flirts to me I'd think he is really interested..now that I know he maybe joking..how embarrassed am I lol...so to me it isnt fun.. lol but guess it;s just me..flirting isnt my thing.When I like someone I say"I like u,more than friend" hehe

[agatha]

girl, you take life waaaaay too seriously. friends often fake-flirt. I do it with my guy friends and the girls as well.

 

but you could hardly mistake it for a real flirt ; )

[easyguy]

girl, you take life waaaaay too seriously. friends often fake-flirt. I do it with my guy friends and the girls as well.

 

but you could hardly mistake it for a real flirt ; )

 

Indeed. Flirting is a way to not take everything so seriously. 95% of the girls/women I have flirted with I have had no interest in, but I have gotten pretty good at flirting with all the practice. That said, when I do use it on a girl/woman I'm attracted to, my ability to be socially relaxed and flirtatious can spark her interest in me quicker than if I didn't flirt.

[xyzzzz]

girl, you take life waaaaay too seriously. friends often fake-flirt. I do it with my guy friends and the girls as well.

 

but you could hardly mistake it for a real flirt ; )

 

could u show me what is a fake flirt and what is a real one? lol

[xyzzzz]

Indeed. Flirting is a way to not take everything so seriously. 95% of the girls/women I have flirted with I have had no interest in, but I have gotten pretty good at flirting with all the practice. That said, when I do use it on a girl/woman I'm attracted to, my ability to be socially relaxed and flirtatious can spark her interest in me quicker than if I didn't flirt.

 

let's say if a guy says to me"oh cuite u've made my day" Is this a fake or real fllrt? cuz I'd really think he adores me or something...

[easyguy]

let's say if a guy says to me"oh cuite u've made my day" Is this a fake or real fllrt? cuz I'd really think he adores me or something...

 

Well, first of all, flirting doesn't mean you have to use the word "cutie" or any pet names. To me, flirting is the ability to poke fun at what someone says and riding it in order to push his/her buttons. Not humiliation, just teasing in a playful way. Like, to get that person to go, "Shut up, haha." It's a matter of taking something not necessarily funny and creating humorous commentary and suggestions in order to completely drive what was said to another direction.

[easyguy]

Guys who know how to friendly flirt with women know how to talk to women and know exactly what their boundaries are and what body language is needed in order to suggest that the interest is in the "more than friends" category.

[agatha]

xyzz, the thing about fake flirts is not what is being said, but rather HOW.

 

a guy that says 'cutie, you made my day' but keeps his distance and doesn't really look you in the eyes is just being flirtily polite. the closer he is, the closer he wants to be. eye contact, body contact, that's even more important than the words out of his mouth.

[musicguy]

it seems like whenever I try to talk to a girl something pervy comes out, which I don't mean to say, but it ends end being that way.