daring heart Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 I just don't understand. W/out any previous signs and him being great to me he hits me with "ur too overwhelming and i'm not ready for that"...... r u kidding me! We just started seeing one another and he would always create future scenerios w/him and iand how nice it would be,etc. Yes, I am very loving and attentive. Always wanting to please and make him happy. he said noone ever did nething 4 him.he was always the one to do. He's been saying he's stressed/depressed w/ his 4yr old sons mother (cuz she's a real b****). Anyway, what do u say tyo this? Let him be? Ugggh! I hate dating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidehop Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 Yes, I am very loving and attentive. Always wanting to please and make him happy. Could you elaborate? When you say you want to 'please and make him happy' what do you exactly do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovelace Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 Most of the guys I've gone out with thing I'm too much, also. It takes a special, very attentive sort of guy to handle that, and they're not everywhere. From what I understand, most people like things to be very very casual for an extended period of time. I'm just not built that way. You might be able to tone everything down...as in, act not as interested, don't call as much, stop doing things for him. But I don't really think people should change who they are just to fit into a handy little box so other people have an easier time handling them. Be yourself. He can't handle a high intensity person, and that's fine. Let him find someone who isn't intense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daring heart Posted April 10, 2010 Author Share Posted April 10, 2010 wow! lovelace that's EXACTLY how I feel. I'm not changing who I am for anyone! and ur absolutely right... "Be yourself. He can't handle a high intensity person, and that's fine. Let him find someone who isn't intense." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daring heart Posted April 10, 2010 Author Share Posted April 10, 2010 Always offering to take him out to eat. I had already bought him a shirt and a toy for him to give 2 his son that I didn't meet.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 Do you think that he means you're clingy and overbearing? How old are you? Do your dates generally think you are a bit much? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 Always offering to take him out to eat. I had already bought him a shirt and a toy for him to give 2 his son that I didn't meet.. and some guys out there might find you their dream woman. i wouldn't try too hard in the beginning to 'win' over a guy. i've never had that work for me, and yes, that guy told me i was being overwhelming as well. now i try not to be too nice, do too many favors for them too soon. i would kind of let the guy set the pace, like if he takes you out for dinner, offer to take him out next time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daring heart Posted April 10, 2010 Author Share Posted April 10, 2010 Do you think that he means you're clingy and overbearing? How old are you? Do your dates generally think you are a bit much? im 34 and yes, that may be as well. Yes, they do sometimes think that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 I'm not changing who I am for anyone! and ur absolutely right... "Be yourself. He can't handle a high intensity person, and that's fine. Let him find someone who isn't intense." im 34 and yes, that may be as well. Yes, they do sometimes think that Well, my dear, what do you want out of life? You are 34. I'm guessing you have been dating for a while, looking for the one. Do you want a family? Children? Do you have a timeline? I'm not saying you should change. Just that if men keep seeing you as clinging and overbearing perhaps there are some things you need to think about. You can easily find yourself in this position 10 years from now after a great guy leaves and wonder when you are going to find someone who loves a "high intensity person" or you can think about whether there are some real insecurities that are driving your behaviors at the beginning of a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 Always offering to take him out to eat. I had already bought him a shirt and a toy for him to give 2 his son that I didn't meet.. You say "We just started seeing one another" and you already bought him a shirt, a gift for his son and always offering to take him out to eat etc etc - I can understand why he feels you're overwhelming, I would too! lol. It's a case of too much, too soon = overkill = smothering = kill the relationship. Take a step back, slow waaaay down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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