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well, it's definitely over! (rant)


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ok so i broke up with him almost 2 weeks ago, i wasn't regretting my decision because i know he & i both need to get away from eachother... 4 yrs is a lonnng time indeed, and we were both so bad for eachother...

 

i sent him a text a few days ago when i caved, asking him how he was etc, and then i got a reply yesterday...

it was rude, mean, unnecessarily so...

 

some of what he said you have no idea how i feel or else you wouldn't speak to m so soon, i never loved you at all, i was blind, i realised i never loved you when you came to visit (last month in which he begged me to stay and begged me for sex, ugh), i bet you regret "our" decision now, if you do, don't ever contact me again, and then he went on to tell me that he'd gone through my journal (i write all the time, daily almost, stress relief) and found out "heavy stuff" i lied to him about... ugh.

 

so you know what i did? i did the worst thing... i told him we didn't deserve eachother, that he strung me along & knew the whole time that he was doing it... and i confessed to having cheated on him.

i told him no more lies no more hurt don't make the matter worse, it's over now, so thankfully, he didn't reply.

 

i'm not looking for sympathy, infact you can abuse me for cheating & then throwing it in his face. i knew he had cheated on me (gut feeling, but that's another story) but i just had to get it off my chest. and i feel so stupid now! i never wanted it to end in flames, but it was such a messy r/ship, i felt betrayed and lied to, i guess it kind of just happened.

 

BUT i also feel like it's a huge turning point now, i feel like i finally opened my eyes. i feel good & ready to move on.

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look I hate to say this but I'm going to. He is lashing out at you. He is really really hurt. You both have hurt each other a lot. Try to let go of the anger and move on. As long as you are mad at him you won't be able to. Forgive him. Then forgive yourself. It takes time, but you need to find a way.

 

Good luck.

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