mca1975 Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Hi All, feeling really really guilty today, because I feel good at ending it. Don't get me wrong, I feel sad, quite lonely, will miss the good things and I hate hurting him like this, but I am having fleeting moments of feeling so happy that this has happened. I feel free and relieved one minute, then extremely sad. I am also a bit sad because it seems like he is coming to terms with it being the end too (no more heartfelt talks taking place about getting back together). Meanwhile, we are shuffling around the house in silence. Its good that we are not fighting though. It feels so odd now, not speaking, no cuddles, no goodbye in the mroning. I'm thinking that these are the good things that I will miss, but what I will not miss is the bickering, the feeling of being pushed down and taken advantage of and not cared about properly. Help, I feel terrible (yet good!) Link to comment
amandathepanda Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Its a rollercoaster isnt it? But I think you have done the hardest bit - keep moving forwards...it's the only way... Have you read "It's called a break up because its broken". It has helped me loads - it might help you? Link to comment
doiiiieeezie Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 It's a normal process, I mean you are in a limbo state with him. I will be honest, even though I was the dumpee, there would be times at the beginning of the breakup that I'd feel normal, even laughed some, and didn't have every minute focused on him. It is a sense of relief from all of the drama and it does allow you to refocus your thoughts, and it's important in healing. Now, take the next steps and see what happens. All the best to you. Link to comment
mca1975 Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 I do feel that I have gone through the hard bit now. Even just yesterday, when I left work, the pain I felt in my heart was immense as I realised, even myself, that it was all over. But today, I feel brighter and free and excited, but ever so guilty. I have got that book at home, I have read some of it yes, think I might have a read of it again x Link to comment
mca1975 Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 It's a normal process, I mean you are in a limbo state with him. I will be honest, even though I was the dumpee, there would be times at the beginning of the breakup that I'd feel normal, even laughed some, and didn't have every minute focused on him. It is a sense of relief from all of the drama and it does allow you to refocus your thoughts, and it's important in healing. Now, take the next steps and see what happens. All the best to you. I would not blame him if he felt a little relief also. I think he has been unhappy aswell. I wish him so much good I really do. Link to comment
amandathepanda Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Guilt is normal, but you are taking care of yourself and your needs and that is essential. It will fade in time... Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 This is a tough break, girl, but a needed one. From what I recall there had been drama since the beginning and I recall lots of people not thinking it was a good idea to move in with this guy so soon before working out the communication and values kinks. Chin up. You will be fine one day at a time. Link to comment
mca1975 Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 Thanks Ms Darcy, I felt so strong earlier but feel weak again now. He has text me saying he wants to sort it out, but I don't want to! And it kills me so much to tell him again and again. God this is really tough, you are right. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Are you still living together? Being physically separate can help a lot. Link to comment
mca1975 Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 Are you still living together? Being physically separate can help a lot. Yes we are still living together. We havent been able to talk about what to do yet, because things are still very raw, only been a few days. Its been the hardest few days of my life so far. God knows what its like for him. We are both working, so we are out all day, but evenings are horrible (unless I'm out, he never goes out) as there is an atmosphere in the house. We are not arguing, or havent for the last two days. This is really painful. We will talk very soon about what to do, but in the meantime, he hasnt accepted it yet. He thinks we can work it out but we cant. I do hate this, but what do you do, stay and hurt yourself, or leave and hurt someone you care about? Link to comment
sahasupa Posted April 9, 2010 Share Posted April 9, 2010 Don't ever feel guilty for feeling good. Just feel good. Link to comment
mca1975 Posted April 9, 2010 Author Share Posted April 9, 2010 Don't ever feel guilty for feeling good. Just feel good. I feel so terrible. I had to tell him again it was def over and the pain I am causing him is awful. I had to take him off my Facebook friends, which is a momentus thing for us, I couldnt stand seeing things on his wall. He was very upset about that, but I felt it was best. I feel like all his friends hate me for hurting him. I dont want to stay in this relationship, but the hurt I am causing him is troubling me so bad. Link to comment
sahasupa Posted April 10, 2010 Share Posted April 10, 2010 I feel so terrible. I had to tell him again it was def over and the pain I am causing him is awful. I had to take him off my Facebook friends, which is a momentus thing for us, I couldnt stand seeing things on his wall. He was very upset about that, but I felt it was best. I feel like all his friends hate me for hurting him. I dont want to stay in this relationship, but the hurt I am causing him is troubling me so bad. It looks like you are doing what you believe needs to be done. Feeling guilty will not help anybody. Feel good. Link to comment
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