averagewhiteguy wants to give lover what he can't

[Catdancer]

No. Using any type of toy, dildo, vibe, strap on, vegetable, fruit, bottle, cookie or cream will not deter me from vaginal sex. Nothing replaces the feeling of a hot, hard, throbbing penis. **shivers** I"m bi and I've had relationships with women for years and all we use is strap ons, dildos and vibes. I missed a hot, hard penis. I missed it bad. That is why I prefer men. Nothing replaces the feeling of being filled up with that hardness.

[MakestheBest]

I honestly feel like a lot of women " say " crap. When I was in high school and freshman year of undergrad women used to go on and on in big groups about the amazing orgasms they were getting and how BIG the penis had to be...I was a virgin. I climaxed my very first time and most times when I have sex. Much later I found out a lot of those women were LYING... many women have problems climaxing at ALL much less everytime

 

if i were incapable of giving my girlfriend an orgasm via intercourse, i would strongly suggest that we see other people. i don't mean that small percentage of women who are literally incapable of climaxing from vaginal stimulation

 

I LOT of women don't orgasm via intercourse. In discussions with women I can, and I find that i'm in the minority.

 

And after a while length doesnt matter at all. I'm 6 feet tall and I dont need or want an extra long penis...I dont feel anything back there and quite frankly it can be painful if its too long. If you're 5.5 or 6 " long you are at a pretty normal length to be honest. More than enough Its not the length that is important...its the thickness... It's the stretch that is where all of the sensations go to work. My g-spot isnt important to me, but I hear it in the very forefront of the vagina-trust me you're hitting it with all cylinders.

 

Are you kidding..I would kill twice for my next bf to be hung like you. What you are working with is great. The only thing you need to work on is your confidence and you'll be a total stud.

[tso]

well, i can understand you being skeptical, but i'm not lying to you. it'd be sort of self-defeating to lie about the things i'm insecure about. if it makes things more believable, i'm only 5'8" and pretty slender so it's not like i have huge wrists. i'm probably just a little over 7" around at the base.

 

Well you could try jelqing, apparently it is supposed to work. 7 Around the base is believable.

[plainwhiteguy]

eh, i've heard that results vary and you have to keep it up or you go back to what you had before. and what i've heard is that stretching can either make your penis longer...or just completely ruin it. also, i think i'm right at the threshold of being to thick so anything that increases both is out. believe me, i'd try most anything if i had a good reason to think it would work.

[jonny15]

7 inches around the base is insane.

 

That's like a coke can.

 

That's if your telling the truth.

 

If so....then you got it made man.

 

Average length + massive girth = good.

 

And whats with the name and the name in the title?

 

Kinda odd.

[plainwhiteguy]

jonny15, yeah i sort of got my adjectives mixed up. or where you just saying the name itself is weird? all the other screennames i wanted were too many characters. and i think a coke can is bigger than 7 inches.

 

 

makesthebest, thanks for saying so, but becoming a more confident person at 24 is like trying to convince myself that the world is flat after all. i think i'm pretty much stuck with my personality at this point.

[sns256]

makesthebest, thanks for saying so, but becoming a more confident person at 24 is like trying to convince myself that the world is flat after all. i think i'm pretty much stuck with my personality at this point.

 

If that was the case I would never get my first gf someday, as would many other guys on here. Of course you can gain confidence/ self esteem!! It is really hard to gain but it is possible with a lot of work. I am like night and day since joining these boards. And I still have a ways to go before I am confident enough to find someone.

 

I say just relax and try to improve yourself in someway. That's what worked for me. I am sure your gf likes you a whole bunch and is willing to help you out. Good luck!

[plainwhiteguy]

but i'm totally fine with using a toy as long as i'm not convincing her that she might as well date someone with a longer penis.

 

oh, sns256, i don't have a girlfriend. but i'm glad the board is working for you, keep at it man. a lot of the work is just putting yourself out there and knowing who you're trying to attract (and wanting to attract the right types of people obviously).

[itsallgrand]

You have a lot going for you, in terms of what you need to give great pleasure to a woman.

 

I think maybe you are building this one thing up to the point of scaring the s/ out of yourself about it, for nothing.

 

We can say everything reassuring in the world to you, but the truth is - none of us are the perfect lover for every person we may go to bed with, and there will always be something we feel like 'well geez, i wish in that aspect i could change that' or some little insecurity about ourselves in bed.

 

But you will drive yourself nuts worrying about it. Worse case scenario: you meet and sleep with this elusive woman who actually is more satisfied by a dildo than by penetration by you. Then what? Does the world collapse? Does it mean you aren't a good lover, or that something is inadequate about you or your body? I don't think so, of course not! It just means that with so many different people in the world with so many different sexual preferences, different bodies, etc....there are going to be some times where you won't feel like things went perfectly how you'd have liked them to be.

 

It's very liberating to just let that be as it is, and not take it personally. Makes sex a hell of a lot more fun too...bc there are no worries on ones back about whether performance or body is 'up to par' or good enough for the person we are with.

 

It's sexual compatibility or not; can't please all people all the time, and that goes for sex too.

[plainwhiteguy]

yeah, you're probably right. i'll just try not to worry about it. besides using a toy on someone seems pretty sexy, has anyone actually have a boyfriend do this?

[jonny15]

jonny15, yeah i sort of got my adjectives mixed up. or where you just saying the name itself is weird? all the other screennames i wanted were too many characters.

 

The name when considering you make this thread.

 

You could have left out the white guy part when talking about your insecurities.

 

 

and i think a coke can is bigger than 7 inches.

 

Not alot bigger.

[plainwhiteguy]

i don't know, for whatever reason, i think race is a pretty big part of sexual identity.

[jonny15]

i don't know, for whatever reason, i think race is a pretty big part of sexual identity.

 

How is that so?

[greywolf]

Uhh... more like the majority of women. Sex can be satisfying without the orgasm. Your belief that an orgasm is necessary is very androcentric. Also, I hope you realize that it's not the relationship that makes you feel that way, it's your own insecurity and self-esteem. Those are things that you need to work on. You can't expect a relationship to make you feel good if your self-esteem is poor. You will always find things to be insecure about.

[greywolf]

i don't know, for whatever reason, i think race is a pretty big part of sexual identity.

 

What makes you think that?

[Cardinal]

I think i keep messing up the question i'm trying to ask. is having something long stimulating your A-spot so much better that you would no longer want something really thick of average length giving a lot of stimulation to your vaginal walls and a greater sense of fullness? does that make sense?

 

Two people usually just don't fit together perfectly. From my experience with women, they would mostly be super happy with you. You'd come by some where your thickness was just too much for them to handle, but by and large yours is a major advantage that most men would want to have.

 

Ideally, it would be really thick, short of her having too much pain, and again, long enough for her to experience full pleasure without pain. Whatever gives her the best orgasms and the best overall experience might as well be the preference. Varies a lot with each female.

 

It is strikingly difficult to argue against that. A good fit is a good fit.

 

Your odds are better than most men based on what you have.

[Cardinal]

yeah, you're probably right. i'll just try not to worry about it. besides using a toy on someone seems pretty sexy, has anyone actually have a boyfriend do this?

 

Here is another simple idea.

 

Ben Wa balls!

 

Might have been mentioned before, but they are fun and can be placed all the way back on her.

 

If she gets in the right physical position, you might even be able to hit cervix with what you have.

 

Also are you overweight at all? 20 lbs of fat loss adds a lot of length.

[plainwhiteguy]

greywolf, i don't know what it's like for women, but for men, race contributes a lot to perceptions of sexual competence and performance expectations. and whether these perceptions are based in myth or reality is pretty much irrelevant. all that matters is whether or not people believe them. and even among educated adults (well, people our age that is) there are plenty that do.

 

and what makes you say that orgasms aren't necessary? i'm willing to buy that a lot of conceptions that people have about sex are androcentric, but i'm having a tough time with that one. i mean, maybe the aren't necessary but still...

 

jonny15, a coke bottle is about 8.5 around. in my book that's a pretty big difference...

[plainwhiteguy]

cardinal,

haha, no i'd be on the treadmill everyday if i had some weightloss options to give me extra inches (quarter inches i guess), but i'm afraid i'm pretty slim. this is all i've got to work with. also, every woman i've been with, i've been able to reach their cervix with my fingers (which are by no definition long) so you're confusing me a lot right about now.

[Cardinal]

The cervix is about as far back as you are going to get with the girl basically.

 

I am not sure what purpose you would have for having more length. If you can get to her cervix then you can pretty much get to her A-spot or anywhere back there. I have given plenty of A-spot orgasms to females and you don't need to go farther back than the cervix. And yes, fingers are great for that too as long as they are in the right anatomical position.

 

Now I am the one who is thoroughly confused.

 

Also, if you are looking for something to measure up against, look at volume.

 

V = pi * (radius ^ 2) * length

 

Look at the radius term in there! It gets squared. You have a ton more volume to work with than most guys. In fact, you probably have more volume than a lot of porn stars do that aren't so thick.

[greywolf]

greywolf, i don't know what it's like for women, but for men, race contributes a lot to perceptions of sexual competence and performance expectations. and whether these perceptions are based in myth or reality is pretty much irrelevant. all that matters is whether or not people believe them. and even among educated adults (well, people our age that is) there are plenty that do.

I see. I guess I just can't understand since I'm biracial.

 

and what makes you say that orgasms aren't necessary? i'm willing to buy that a lot of conceptions that people have about sex are androcentric, but i'm having a tough time with that one. i mean, maybe the aren't necessary but still...

 

Women do like orgasms, but if it was just about the orgasm, a lot of women wouldn't even bother with sex. Some of the best orgasms I've had were ones that I gave myself. I know exactly what I like better than anyone else does. But haven't you noticed that things are generally more fun when you have someone to do it with you?

 

And for the most part, when you focus too much on the orgasm, it makes the girl feel inadequate. We know that guys love it when we can have vaginal orgasms, and when we can't it can make us feel insecure. If you can give a woman a clitoral orgasm, that's good enough.

 

I've never been able to have a vaginal orgasm. It's even difficult for me to have a clitoral orgasm when I'm not doing it myself. But some of the nicest sexual experiences I've had were when my bf fingered me while I touched my clit and we hugged each other.