Patience

[Jezz143]

How do you gain patience?

[Cognitive_Canine]

You wait for it.

 

(Couldn't resist).

 

Seriously, it's all about mindset.

[Jezz143]

lol...thanks. =]

[livelarge]

I have almost no patience. But I am getting better. I think of a lot of it is training your mind to think differently. For me, I'm able to do it by taking a deep breathe and refocusing my energy when I start to get impatient. It's like a little internal dialogue that goes something like this, "I can deal with this, I can deal with this..."

 

But truly, it's the deep breathe that really tells me to change how I'm thinking. A lot of times it works, sometimes it doesn't.

[itsallgrand]

Practice.

 

Try doing little challenges of things that frustrate you and make you lose your patience. Ok, I'll give an example bc I've had to work for patience too...renovating a house. The carpenters rule is: Measure twice, cut once. It takes patience with all the little things that need to be done, the measuring, the cutting and making sure it's a perfect fit, the things that go wrong, the tools that don't seem to want to cooperate, etc. But if you just stick it through and do it right, it's a tangible and glorious result.

 

Anything like that, where you get a 'reward' for practicing your patience, works pretty well I've found.

[shessofly]

how do you get patience? you learn it, it's a character trait that most of us do not have naturally. you take every opportunity that arises in your life...everyday situations and practice patience all the way through it. You learn to control your attitude while you are waiting for whatever the irritant is to go away, improve, or whatever. it takes lots of time to obtain that character trait.

[Salicia]

I'm not a patient person also but I guess gaining the mindset of being patient helps. What really helps me though is to not get so caught up in the thing that's making me wait. I tend to think about other things a lot so if I focus on something else other than what's happening in the moment, then I'm more patient.

[BellaDonna]

I am a very impatient person. I have looked up info on this before but I have never been able to follow it.

 

Everything I have read does echo what others are saying here: that it is learned and that it takes practice. One article advised that you should seek out situations that would require you to be patient. For example, purposely choose to wait in the longest line at the store, etc.

 

To me that sounds like a slow painful death so I never do it.

 

I do wonder if ALL of patience is learned. I think some of it may be attributed to temperment. Some people are just more laid back in general and can go with the flow. Part of my problem is that on most days I am wearing myself thin and trying to get more done than a typical day allows so waiting in traffic or in long lines really screws up my schedule.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I'm very patient about some things and extremely impatient about others.

 

For instance, you know how the airline will ask costumers to give up their tickets for a later flight because they've overbooked the plane? I take that offer. I don't mind waiting hours in airports.

 

But, waiting for my computer to boot up...

[BellaDonna]

I'm very patient about some things and extremely impatient about others.

 

For instance, you know how the airline will ask costumers to give up their tickets for a later flight because they've overbooked the plane? I take that offer. I don't mind waiting hours in airports.

 

But, waiting for my computer to boot up...

 

 

^hmmm....maybe it changes the dynamic because in that case, you've chosen to wait, whereas you are powerless against a slow computer bootup (no choice).

 

I am more patient with individual people (i.e. my child, or helping someone) than I am with daily aggravations. The first feels rewarding, but the 2nd feels like drudgery.

[Resolute]

I'll tell you how you get patience. Go on a two week hunting trip. Every day, hunt for 8 - 10 hours. Never talk with your hunting partner, never move unless you have to. It's so bad at times your mouth starts feeling like it does when you wake up from sleep; layered with plaque. To make it worse... No running water.

 

Maybe it doesn't sound too bad... Until you finish your last day and realize you didn't get anything...

 

That is a real patience test.

[Jezz143]

I work in a call center and talk to numerous people all day long. And when I have someone that calls in and I ask them for an account number or their phone number...they say "Hold on just minute, I didn't know I would need that" Or they set the phone down or they get upset. I deal with it cause its my job...but I feel like it kills my nerves..

 

Maybe thats selfish... =\

[Speranza]

I hate to tell you this, but the secret IS - to wait!

 

When I was a Christian, and just starting out, someone preached on patience, and I've never forgotten what they said: "Just make sure if you ask God for patience, you're prepared for how you learn it!"

 

I DID ask. And I would say it took a good 25 years of really difficult situations to get to the point where I reckon I've more or less cracked it!

 

Perhaps in part it's temperament (it certainly wasn't mine!) but also it does come with age. Not to everyone. It's about deferred gratification.

 

Not having the patience to learn patience is a bit of a vicious circle, Belladonna! But it really is worth it - it enriches your life so much.

 

I've just spent five months off work, not being able to walk, and in a lot of pain. I knew something was very wrong but I had to wait to see a specialist, she agreed with my doctor that it was a classic cartilage tear, sent me for a scan - which was a month away... had the scan, saw a physio (all this time in so much pain that I was sobbing a lot of the day, and I had two drug-free births! ) and then was told four months into the pain that I'd actually been walking round on a broken leg.

 

I don't particularly recommend that as an experience, but - I've learnt even more patience! And then it was another few months' wait till the operation to try to find the bit of bone I've lost!

 

The op's on Monday. So - you do get there in the end! lol

 

My point being, during this pretty awful time, I decided I would USE the patience I've learnt and see what else I could do with the time. I've been meditating, read a lot, posted on here, and finished the final draft of a novel.

 

So - there's always another way to look at things. All I would say is, it is SO worth learning to be patient.

 

Or as my dear old Granny used to say:

"Patience is a virtue, possess it if you can; Seldom known to Woman - and NEVER to a Man..."

 

 

[ZizousamA]

Patience is strength because it always has to do with what you don't like. Start with small things until you can deal with the bigger ones. The strong one isn't the one who can beat people up. The strong one is he who can restrain themselves when angry. Patience is beautiful and a life saver. Many relationships and opportunities we lose because of rash second. However, sadly, some people mistake it for weakness. Don't make a patient person angry.

[red_sky_girl]

i like this thread...and i like the comment of ziz....patience is beautiful and a life saver...it is indeed...well i would consider myself the most impatiente person in the whole world...i rush for everything and i can sometimes be patiente but only a few times...most of the time im imapatiente for everything...starting from the trafic,waiting in a line,i lose patience very fast ...and this is what i need most to improve in Myself...i lack patience...and i think patience cames from a calm and tranquill soul....and mind....i have tried this...sometime i just needed to shut up my mind and thoughts and just focus on my breath or on what my eyes were seeing , or just in the silence around me...i kept focusing on this and said myself u can do it , here it is u are calm now...i have tasted moments of silence and real patience but i guess learning patience needs lots of efforts and practice...its like when we learn everything....we learn something because we put our efforts on it....well this is my first goal for 2010 and by the end of this year i really hope i could have some more days of patience ..feels good and it is a source of inspiration

[itsallgrand]

I'll tell you how you get patience. Go on a two week hunting trip. Every day, hunt for 8 - 10 hours. Never talk with your hunting partner, never move unless you have to. It's so bad at times your mouth starts feeling like it does when you wake up from sleep; layered with plaque. To make it worse... No running water.

 

Maybe it doesn't sound too bad... Until you finish your last day and realize you didn't get anything...

 

That is a real patience test.

 

lol. Speaking from experience?

[Resolute]

Painfully accurate experience =/