Can I change his mind?

[mcqueen002]

I broke up with my boyfriend of over two years this week. I was not very sure of my decision and realized that because I called him back. I tried to offer a chance to make things work one last time but he said that it was my decision and that I did not know what I want. That is in part true, but I know that I would love to be with him. I want to be with him and be loved and appreciated. I haven't felt that way in a while with him. Our whole communication has broken down because he seems to never have time to talk with me. I know when something is bothering him but I have to drag it out of him. The thing that gets to me about the way our break up happened was that when I began talking to him about how i felt, he just kept saying "whatever makes you happy" that doesn't sound like someone that is interested in the relationship anymore. He didn't try to fight at all. I was just looking for a simple "lets try and make this work" or something but I never heard anything like that. He even asked me if I would be mad if he started hanging out with girls. About an hour after the break up I called him back and thats when I asked if he wanted to work things out. He said we could be friends. I do not want to be friends with him. Either we are together or apart but nothing in between. It just hurts too much.He called me to "see whats up" with me. I finally told him today that im not comfortable with this whole friends thing but he told me hes leaning towards ending our relationship. What do I do? Is there anything else to do but move on? Is there any way I can change his mind? Its just really hard because the vibe im getting is that he was ready for the relationship to be over but kind of waiting things out. That hurts to think he was over it before we even talked about breaking up.

[FrenchFries]

There is nothing that you can do but please don't beg or plead with him. It does sound like he is ready to be single again, and isn't interested in working on any of the issues that concern you. In that case you are better off without a partner who is unwilling to work on fixing problems with the relationship. You will just remain unhappy with him.

 

You started the breakup process and he is going along with it, so I'd say you need to step back and let him go. Like you said, go NC. It already looks like he's gonna start dating soon if he hasn't already or maybe is interested in someone, so your conversations will likely end up with you being hurt.

[mikeyx22]

You won't change his mind. You're probably right about him, it sounds he did make up his mind well before you talked. In all seriousness though, if he wouldn't speak his mind about something of that nature, why would you want him back? I understand emotionally why you would, but I don't think it's a wise idea to expect anything to work out between you two.

What you want seems to be a working relationship, not specifically him. Though obviously you'll miss him for a while.

[MikNomis]

Now that he knows that you're willing to get back together, don't say anything more about it to him, and give him his space. It's the best thing you can do at this point. Do not keep in contact with him.

[deecbee]

I think this might be a case of him being too lazy to break up with you, so he let the relationship fall to sh*t and didn't bother trying to repair it. In a way, he "tricked" you into breaking up with HIM so he didn't have to do the dirty work.

 

Even worse, now he knows he has the upper hand because not only did he escape being the "Bad guy/Dumper", he knows he could have you back if he wanted! It's all a game at this point... he's going to be riding high from this for a while, so go strict NC immediately and do not continue to feed his ego.

[mcqueen002]

Okay. Thanks guys. I guess i just needed confirmation that the things he was saying did not sound like someone that was hurt. It just makes me feel foolish for not realizing that he was not interested anymore. Honestly I could feel something was wrong but I just didnt want to admit it. It still hurts though.