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Ladies, are you able to move on even if you haven't found someone new?


bungalo

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I don't feel that I can truly move on until I have a new love interest. Does it work that way for lots of women too? Or are you able to move

on if you're the dumper.

 

Question 2: If your ex really showed some positive changes, and you were available, would you be willing to give it another go?

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I don't feel that I can truly move on until I have a new love interest. Does it work that way for lots of women too? Or are you able to move

on if you're the dumper.

 

Question 2: If your ex really showed some positive changes, and you were available, would you be willing to give it another go?

 

Not moving on and getting over an ex before getting with someone else is called "rebounding" and is not healthy.

 

I have given my ex chance after chance after chance and I have gotten burned...bad. I believe in 2nd chances, but it depends on the circumstance.

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Usually I can get over an ex a lot quicker when I have a new interest.

 

Secondly, positive changes? I have in the past, and let's just say nothing ever changed. In fact, I was even more devastated the second time around than the first time. Would I go back again? Absolutely not.

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Or are you able to move on if you're the dumper.

 

Yes, I can and do move on before I find someone else regardless if I'm dumper or dumpee. It is actually important for me to NOT try to find a replacement to fill the void. It isn't fair to anyone to rebound. I do 'date' a bit, but find myself reserving my heart (and lady parts) for months/years after each relationship.

 

Question 2: If your ex really showed some positive changes, and you were available, would you be willing to give it another go?

 

Oh hell no. I know that he is the master of disguise. Going through the motions...but always reverts right back into the same person.

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Yes I moved on before I found another love interest. I got over my love before I got involved in another relationship. It has always been this way for me, but I've never had a problem with being "alone" either. It's different for everyone I would assume.

 

In my case I would not take an ex back even if they showed positive changes and I was single. Of course, this has never happened, so it's easy for me to say I wouldn't. My relationships, the last one particularly, was extremely traumatic/dysfunctional and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that I would not take that man back. I'm usually over someone once I break up with them. The love is gone and there's no turning back.

 

EDIT: I also want to mention that prior to the breakup all of my ex's knew they were skating on thin ice but chose not to do anything about the situation. There is always a lot of thought put into ending a relationship for me. By the time I get to the breakup point I have pleaded with them on more than one occasion to listen to my concerns.

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If I'm the dumper (which I have been in most of my previous relationships), the last thing I've wanted was to start the whole mess over again either with the ex or with some new guy.

 

For me, "moving on" has always included a good chunk of alone time with no man around and none on the horizon. I'm also of the mindset that once I'm done, I'm done. I don't care what they choose to do in terms of inward or outward changes, I'm not going back.

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I'm doing it for the first time, getting over someone without a love interest in sight. It's harder but it makes you stronger.

 

I've taken most my exes back because I believe in second chances. But it never worked out differently because it was too soon.

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BTW, Shes2smart - love the mage table

 

oh haha, I knew I recognized that dang thing but could not put a handle on it. Thank ya Hopelives. And since I'm no lady I won't answer the OP. (but I think the only way you really move on is w/o someone new otherwise it's just transference and that's no good for anyone)

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I've taken most my exes back because I believe in second chances.

 

Well, if I've gotten to the point where I'm ending the relationship, they've already had second, third, fourth....two hundreth chances. If I'm seeing leaving as my only viable option, it means I've done all I can do and all I'm going to do.

 

You can only give so many "second chances" before it just becomes a ridiculous farce.

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BTW, Shes2smart - love the mage table

 

oh haha, I knew I recognized that dang thing but could not put a handle on it. Thank ya Hopelives. And since I'm no lady I won't answer the OP. (but I think the only way you really move on is w/o someone new otherwise it's just transference and that's no good for anyone)

 

Always liked the graphic on that. Waiting to do 10 or 25 ToC one night and a table was up, so I plopped my fluffy boomkin butt down and took a screen shot.

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Yes, totally move on. I was the dumpee so I didnt have a choice but to move on.

 

I moved on so well after being with my first ex for 4 years, that I loved my freedom too much and didnt give other guys any chances.

 

Theres a difference btwn moving on and "moving on to" another guy

 

For those women/men who move on to another person, is not equivalent to moving on in my opinion.

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