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Should I persue, back off, have patience??


kwiss

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Hi all, brief explanation of my situation, started seeing this girl start of the year, things were fantastic and I mean fantastic, we both clicked, her friends said how happy she was with me, she had told them how happy she was with me, valentines was great, had gifts off her, she was telling me herself how pleased she was to be with me! Then all of a sudden 2 weeks later she went very quite on me, then broke up with me. Saying she wasn't ready for a relationship, her ex cheated on her after a 4 year relationship, 6 months previously. She said she wants to stay friends with me, and we've been texting a bit since the break up, I've tried calling a few times but she won't answer! But seems happy enough to text, which us annoying for me as it's driving me mad how she really feels. I've been getting mixed messages from her, I.e implying she still likes me, then if I ask a direct question she goes quite on me!

I need to know where I stand, but don't want to wreck anything I might have with her in the future if she just needs time. It's been like 7 weeks and it's driving me mad, I can't stop thinking of her, we had such an amazing time and it stopped so abbruptly.

I want to pursue her, but not be pushy or come accross weird, not really sure what to do, it's been fairly equal in terms of her texting me, and me texting her! So confused, frustrated....

 

Advice needed please!

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Sounds like a rebound and/or her heart is not 100% healed. She's confused and not sure how to move forward or go back with her ex is what it sounds like.

 

Stay as friends but I wouldn't expect a lot right now. You'll only push her away otherwise. Keep the contact casual but if you want to still be with her in the future, give subtle hints that you do still care without saying it.

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Thankyou for your reply, I was thinking this as well, it's horrible to think I was a rebound, but she did explain that it's just too soon for her for another relationship, of course I didn't believe her, thinking it must have been me, but the more I think about it I think she has told me the truth, the thing is I can't seem to let her go, she really does mean a lot to me, but I know if I tell her this it's only going to push her away like you say! But again I can't live my life in hope that one day she will be ready.

 

She asked me a couple of weeks ago if we could meet up in a few months, is this somekind of a sign saying I'll feel different in a few months or what? I really don't know what to do, as I say I Would wait for this girl if she made it clear to me, but I just can't seem to get a straight forward answer!

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She sounds like she wants to feel it but just isn’t. I’d say back off and go the NC route or else she will either friendzone you are just get so turned off she flat out dumps you for good.

 

No more phone calls from you or txt. Let her make the moves and don’t be too eager to be there for her. She really need to be away from you for a while so she can miss you and see what her true feelings are. There’s nothing you can do or say to make her feel different but there is plenty you go do that will drive her away. When you are NC, you can’t screw up because you ain’t there lol. Not only that, they will begin to idealize you once you are gone which only works in your favor.

 

She will respect you more if you do as she wants and pull out of her life for a while.

 

She might also be in the process of hooking up with her ex. That happens a lot.

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Thanks, she actually said she "wanted to want" a relationship with me, but just can't, saying it's too soon. There was an incredible amount of sexual attraction between us, we could hardly keep our hands off each other, could this be a reason for the not wanting to answer the phone, I don't know. I'm keeping my distance now, and I'm going to wait to hear from her, I think if I do hear anything from her I will instigate us meeting up. It's so hard not knowing where u stand, problem is I'm guessing she probably doesn't know either?

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I'm not goin to contact her, we've been officially over now 7 weeks, but 2 weeks ago I got lots of flirty texts from her, that's what put me back to square one.

She told me that her ex was asking her to meet up with him before we broke up, although she made it clear she doesn't want him back I think it maybe brought up emotions that have confused her. I know one of her friends so I'm going to try and get some inside info whether I should persue or leave!

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