Jump to content

How often do you sit with your partner?


Recommended Posts

I just wanted to ask you guys how often you sit with your partner in the evening, weekends, spare time etc....

 

I've been living with my bf for a few months now, he has never lived with anyone before and is used to be on his own in the flat.

 

The reason I ask is because I feel like we should sit every evening together when we are both home and he sometimes wants to sit on the computer, which I should point out in the same room or when footballs on he'll go in the other room to watch it, leaving me to watch what I want too. He doesn't see the big deal about doing our own thing in the flat, where as I like to spend our evenings together. As every other week I do late nights at work so he has plenty of time to do his own think?

 

So what's your view in your relationships?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well most of the time he knows now just to sit with me when i'm home. most nights, i guess sometimes not it depends.

 

Its not that i'm unhappy with what happens in my home, i understand you cant spent every night on the sofa together.

 

Guess I was just interested in what other people are like really.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It depends, we try not to be on the computer after certain time. It cuts into the family time too much. I would say 50/50 during the week? Split with minimal computer/TV usage, playing with our daughter and spend as much time as possible after I get home from work.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

we spend a couple of hours a night chilling by ourselves (i'll play games or watch a film, she'll watch some trash shows or paint), then a couple together watching tv, or playing on our laptops, going out for a meal or the cinema or something -- but close you know?

 

probably 4/5 times weekdays this happens, and most of the days together weekends naturally. it's a nice balance i think.

 

i'd hate not having a couple hours a night to unwind though, i like (and need) some me time daily!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think its important to realize that just because you live together, doesn't mean that the time needs to be spent together.

 

Mine varies greatly depending on our work schedules. If he's on nights..well I just don't see him for 5 days. But when we are home together, we sit together nightly. Whether it be for dinner, watching mutual favourite tv shows together, movies, video games, card games, we'll go for walks, grab a coffee somewhere, we do enjoy each others company and take advantage of time together.

 

When I head to bed to read, that's when he'll pop onto the computer and do his thing, and we both meet to fall asleep. We feel that is sufficient alone time when it comes to evenings at home during the week.

 

If the other person feels the need for a little more alone time, neither one of us takes it personally, and can happily find something else to do to occupy the time.

 

We both feel there is a good balance, and maybe about once a week feel the "I'd like some time to myself.." sort of thing..but more often than not, we just enjoy spending our evenings together. We also spend time with other couples, and our own personal friends as well. So as a whole, we do feel balanced.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just because you live under the same roof, doesn't mean you have to do the same activities at the same time.

 

Living together doesn't mean spending every single breathing moment at home glued to each other.

 

I think its important to realize that just because you live together, doesn't mean that the time needs to be spent together.

 

Agreed here. I think your heart is in the right place OP because while the above is true, just because you live under the same roof also doesn't mean that you stop making the effort to spend genuine quality time together. There is certainly a danger among people who live together to take it for granted or to neglect it in the face of their own personal crises. Making a date every night sounds a bit much though, and I think you risk sort of diluting* the significance of it.

 

*not quite the word I'm looking for but I think you get it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think having a 'couples' day once a week is a good idea. For instance, sunday can be your 'do stuff' day. You both leave the house and go for a walk, or go fishing, play a game of tennis, or whatever you want to. It's sort of a casual date day.

 

Having real night dates are important to keep in the relationship too. Every once in a while you should both get gussied up and paint the town red.

 

Equally important is time spent apart. Sometimes you should go out with girlfriend and him out with his friends. Preferably you do this on the same night so no one is sitting at home bored thinking about their partner having fun without them.

 

I think occasionally watching tv in different rooms or being slightly apart in your living space is a healthy part of a relationship. As long as the times you are still intimate feel good and you don't feel ignored.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...