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PoopyBear

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Ok I had a chat with the guy I've seen 6 times. Turns out he didn't want me texting mushy stuff because he's unhappy with the way "we" are going. He said he knew we had to talk but didn't know how to approach it but intended on doing it this week but I beat him to it.

 

He said he likes me alot but he's unhappy that we seem to have skipped the getting to know each other/dating part and he was feeling uncomfortable about that. He said we were physical too soon for him and although it's all good, we don't know each other and he doesn't want it to become a FWB "thing". He explained he had been in a relationship last year that was based on sex and after a short amount of time he realised he wasn't really into the person but she was really into him. He said he stayed with her longer than he should have to avoid the break up and it was pretty messy and didn't want to put anyone or himself through that again. I gave him the option of us not seeing each other for a few weeks/anymore and he said he definitely wants to see me again and made arrangements for us to go out at the weekend.

 

This is different to anything I've ever agreed to before and I'm quite happy to do without because I like him. So we still together and have agreed kisses and cuddles are fine but the physical part will wait until we get to know each other better and decide we really want to give it a go.

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Based on this and your last post, it seems like there are some issues of incompatibility that are arising already. It seems like you probably did take things too fast, which seems to have been mostly of your doing through the "mushy" stuff, like the text messages, hanging out on the couch and cuddling, etc. But he went about handling that in the completely wrong way, and I still don't really see how his last relationship gives him reason to tell you to knock that off.

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All sorts of things going through my head after sleeping on it.

 

*I've already started liking this guy, what do I do with those feelings? They won't stop because we're stopped having sex, will they?

* Does agreeing to this put him in control of how often we see each other?

* Do I keep dating other people? (I think yes I do!)

* I don't turn him on.

* We don't see each other much at all and he has issues with his "alone" time, how will abstaining from sex change that?

* I'm questioning who I am, my morals and values, my beliefs and my personality and wondering if I'll make the grade. (And thats making me think what the ????)

 

 

The road to a relationship with this guy seems like it might be a very long one and I'm in my 40's, do I really want a lengthy courtship with a view to more in the future?

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