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I'm scared to take chances...


shy2cool

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Well, I want to change this.

 

I have recently signed up to eHarmony and am giving another online dating website another chance.

 

I am also going to make more of an effort to get out of my comfort zone and talk to any women that I find attractive.

 

I am simply too busy to meet anybody. I guess I need to pursue opportunities as they come during the course of my day.

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I agree ^^

Everyone is busy. What is important to you right now? We should work so we can live, not live to work.

I just signed up for POF 3 weeks ago and thought I would look around a little and maybe send a message here or there. Well it hasn't worked out that way. I was on hour and got a message and have recieved messages from about 12 women out of the blue since. Most I am not interested in so I politely reply but I have met one and have a date this week with another.

I most definitely am busy but either I am doing this or I am not. If it is important you will find the time.

 

Good luck

Lost

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I just signed up for POF 3 weeks ago and thought I would look around a little and maybe send a message here or there. Well it hasn't worked out that way. I was on hour and got a message and have recieved messages from about 12 women out of the blue since.

Wow, nice. I was on for a week or so a couple of years ago . . . was quite disappointing. I must be hideous or something. I guess I should try again, as I really don't meet anyone interesting who's available in the offline world.

 

Good on the OP too. Get yourself out there . . . never know what might happen.

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Good luck shy2cool in your new found, ummm, "will"?

 

If you're a guy lucky enough to get messages from real genuine women then lucky you but it's a little harder to cope (even though it's fully expected for the online world) when you aren't attractive enough for that, real or online.

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I'm seriously pathetic. I keep on getting either ignored or rejected on these sites.

 

I was also too scared to talk to a girl I kinda fancy at work - I walked right past her like I was totally ignoring her. If only she knew how much anxiety I felt.

 

I am losing confidence at an alarming rate.

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I wouldn't use the "too busy" excuse for yourself unless you are out of town most days and nights of the week - 5-6 - so that you couldn't manage to see someone about once a week. The anxiety is normal - be patient with yourself, do a lot of self-talk (all positive of course) and remind yourself that in analogous situations (i.e. school, work) you've gone for what you want (otherwise you wouldn't have the job you have, right?)

 

Also baby steps - you don't need to rush in and ask out the woman at work but promise yourself that this week you will at least say hi, something like that.

 

My husband was extremely shy when we met at work many years ago. It took him a long time - months - to ask me to have lunch with him, but I think he would say it was worth it.

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She works on a different floor to me. I also know that she wouldn't date Asian guys, as she said it one time when we were in a group; yet, I still like her?? :s

 

You never know if she changed her mind about that, or you could be friendly with her and she might know people who would be a good match for you. My husband worked three floors above me, in an entirely different department, we ran into each other only 3 times in 8 months at the company (at company events). Obviously you run into her too, from what you wrote.

 

The real problem here is the excuses you make for not acting, in general.

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She works on a different floor to me. I also know that she wouldn't date Asian guys, as she said it one time when we were in a group; yet, I still like her?? :s

 

Why would you want to date someone who would make such an obnoxious comment? That's really lame to say, especially in a group. I'm assuming you're Asian, which makes it doubly tactless and inconsiderate.

 

What else do you even know about this person? How is it that you "like" her? Does that mean you are simply physically attracted to her?

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