Compromises that should be known

[dr_styles]

For dating and relationships they say a lot of it also about compromise. No arguments from me there, but what compromises should be made known to the other person, if at all? I can see making them known as giving off a big vibe that you're unhappily settling, or that you have a sense of entitlement/superiority, or you're just giving them a chance.

 

So for instance from my guy p.o.v things like:

- various beliefs like pre-marital sex and living together

- a preference for a particular dress style or look

- "I don't like going to the Opera" (to borrow one from The Simpsons lol)

 

Well I hope what I'm polling people about is clear.

[annie24]

i don't get your question. you are asking 'what are ok things to compromise on?' if so, sure, i would put 'going to the opera' or 'going to the baseball game' as one of them. it won't kill me to go to a baseball game with my SO once in a while, but it won't kill him to go without me sometimes either. same goes for the opera.

[dr_styles]

Well basically should you let the S.O know if you are putting up with something that they do? Because they may not know it.

Or something you envisaged your ideal partner to have but obviously ideal is rarely true, but should you let them know.

 

I think the pre-marital sex one might be a good one. If you know the person you're dating is religious, should you make it known that you have no problem with it and even want it (even though you know you won't and not push for it to try and change their beliefs).

 

I just started thinking about this after reading some threads/posts on people discussing their dates and realising sometimes what we want, what we are unhappy about is never known by the other person. I can see why not though, again for not wanting to try to change them or seem picky, or anything else.

[newwave]

I really hate to mention compromises because people change. I've known people who were waiting for marriage and they had sex earlier than planned. I knew a few who insisted they'd never marry but a year later they did. Having said that, I do guys right away I won't sleep with them for awhile.

[enalover143]

I just started thinking about this after reading some threads/posts on people discussing their dates and realising sometimes what we want, what we are unhappy about is never known by the other person. I can see why not though, again for not wanting to try to change them or seem picky, or anything else.

 

Dude, they are only "never known" if you don't TELL the other person. Relationships are all about being open, honest, and good communication. A lot of men complain that women expect them to read their minds, which is fair, but the same applies to women. If you're not happy with something with your "girlfriend" you should have either brought it up EARLY in the relationship and setup expectations, or be open and honest and tell her now.

 

The longer you let it sit there and fester the worse it gets. And she will be even more hurt when you bring up things you don't "like" about her. How do you know she's not willing to change for you if you don't TALK to her about it? Maybe she'd be happy to please you and do what you want, or within some reasonable amount of compromise. Communication in any relationship (family, friend, coworker, girlfriend, wife) is very important...I think you'd agree...