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How do I stop caring?


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I recently (about 2 months ago) broke up with my ex girlfriend of 1.5 years. She was my second girlfriend who I dated very shortly after my first who I went out with for 2 years. Essentially I've been in a relationship almost constantly for about 4 years and this is the first time I'm single by my own choice (im 22 years old by the way). It was my decision, and I do not regret it at all. I simply stopped loving her and being attracted to her and felt it was better for both of us if I ended it.


I feel like I am over her, we are good friends, and even seeing her flirting with other guys and mentioning who she likes doesn't worry me at all. What I am not over though is having somebody to love. I don't miss her in particular, but I very often feel lonely and wish I had her, or anybody to cuddle with and kiss and spend time with.


I'm not totally alone, my flat-mates and friends and family are around, I spend lots of time with them all and am keeping relatively active, but I just feel that I can't be happy without a girl by my side. Nothing seems worth doing unless I have a girlfriend or a girl to pursue. I spent the last week or so texting a girl I was interested in and it felt great, I felt like I was actually doing something worthwhile, until I was told by her friend that she doesn't really like me in that way. When I was told this all the feelings of loneliness and hopelessness came flooding back and i feel like crap again.


I know that I have far more success with girls if I'm not actively looking and when I stop actually caring about finding somebody. I know the solution is to occupy myself with hobbies and sports and other activities and somebody will come along, and I have been trying to do that, but everything is just boring to me. I can't focus on anything, I have a short attention span and I waste all day doing practically nothing, sleeping, meandering aimlessly on the internet, and I'm worried that this sort of behaviour might lead to depression.


So the question is, how do I stop caring about finding a new girl? I know I'm essentially wanting to do this in order to find a new girl, but I just don't know what to do. I hate being single, but I know that unless I embrace being single, I will remain single for a long time. What do i do? Has anybody else been in a situation like this before?

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