Women how do you feel about saying ''I love you'' first?

[shygal2008]

I am asking bcuz my girlfriends all have told me that their husbands said it pretty early on in their dating relationships (5 weeks-3 months) and said they waited until their men said it first!

 

Now two of them actually wouldn't have said it until their honeys said it first..it was important to them. On the other hand one of my best friends hubby liked her for so many years (9 yrs to be exact) before they dated..she wasn't feeling him at that point BUT he couldn't hold back once she finallly gave him a chance and said it after 2 weeks and popped the question after 7 months..he said he just knew from the moment they met they'd be married!!!! They have been married 10 years and just adopted their second son last month

 

Just curious if anyone has rules about this sort of thing?

 

And as you get older (late 30's and 40's) would you say yes to a proposal after a few months if you felt this was THE ONE YOU'VE WAITED FOR????

[Crazyaboutdogs]

A person is on their best behaviour in the first few months of dating so there is no way I would say yes to a proposal after only a few months if I hadn't already been friends with that person for quite a long time prior to dating.

 

As for who says "I love you" first...I think it is silly for women to stand and ceremony and wait unti the man says it first...when you figure that many women are ready to shed their clothes for a man 5 minutes after meeting him, I don't understand why they would think it would be too forward or too "dangerous" to declare their love first.

[sidehop]

I think the idea is pretty silly too.

[Cognitive_Canine]

A person is on their best behaviour in the first few months of dating so there is no way I would say yes to a proposal after only a few months if I hadn't already been friends with that person for quite a long time prior to dating.

 

As for who says "I love you" first...I think it is silly for women to stand and ceremony and wait unti the man says it first...when you figure that many women are ready to shed their clothes for a man 5 minutes after meeting him, I don't understand why they would think it would be too forward or too "dangerous" to declare their love first.

 

I agree with this.

 

I personally don't say "Love" until several months in. I was the first to say it in this relationship. Turns out he'd been thinking about saying it for the past couple of weeks but was nervous about it. So, it went rather well.

[PrincessBOT]

I had a guy tell me he loved me on our first date, which was two days after we'd met. We'd talked on the phone for the two days.....I ran like the wind. It freaked me out,

 

As I get older, if I feel compatible with a guy and I feel like he is the one I would accept a proposal. However, most likely I'd have to know him for at least 6 months and got to know he and his family very well. Then ideally a one year engagement would follow, but I would be flexible. I don't have time for anymore 4 year relationships that don't work out. I'd rather be alone or at least available to see others. So if we are not on the path to wedded bliss in 6 months then its over. I am not exaggerating either; most of my dates don't go pass two dates whereas I used to be willing to date for months. So if I ever get past 3 months and then to 6 months I am sure it will be something serious.

[Mindelani]

I think if you (as the woman) love him then it's silly to wait for him to say it first, unless you think you might freak him out by saying it. I wouldn't wait to say it just because of some social norm or whatever. Now I'd probably be too nervous to say it first though because when i said it to my ex (4 months in) he didn't say it back and then things started to go downhill.

[greywolf]

I don't have a problem with saying it first, but I've never been in a situation where I loved them before or at the time that they told me they loved me.

[teabee]

I don't think I'd say it first.

 

I've been told "I love you" in all seriousness and earnestness by guys I felt nothing for. It made me very aware of the fact that 2 people can experience very different realities, even in relation to each other. I am not brave enough to risk saying "I love you" first because it may feel like truth and wonder and beauty to me, but who knows what he's really feeling over on his end!! So yes, like a coward I would leave it up to him to do it first.

[Juxtapoz]

i've fallen in love recently and i want to tell him but i'm scared to just yet. we've been dating almost three months and sometimes we have those prolonged stares like someone's going to say it but it could just be me fantasizing the whole time, and really he's just thinking about what he had for lunch earlier.

[BriarRose]

In answer to your first question, I would not say I love you first, but I don't see anything wrong with it. It's just not something I am comfy with. I did it once and the guy replied with "thanks", lol!

 

In answer to your 2nd question, I absolutely would consider a proposal after just a few months. I am 45 and know what I want. Most men my age and older know what they want, too.

[Jd1983]

If I felt as though I was, then I wouldn't mind saying it first. I don't see anything wrong with it at all.

[citymouse]

In theory I wouldn't worry about being the first one to say it -- if I had those strong feelings and wanted to share them, I would.

 

But in practice I tend to be insecure so that kind of stops me from sticking my neck out too much. My b/f said it first to me after about two months of dating and now we say it to each other all the time. I am really happy that he took the lead because it helped me to feel more comfortable and secure about him and his intentions. I still have my moments of insecurity but I know that is my problem and I am working on it privately in my own quiet way rather than sharing it with him or dumping my issues on him.

 

And yes I would definitely accept a proposal after a few months... like even as few as six months? Six months with a year engagement perhaps? I am in my late 40s and I have been around the block. I know who I am and what I want, and it's not the same as if I were in my early 20s and had just met some guy.

 

My b/f and I have been dating for three and a half months and I have this growing conviction that he is the one I've waited for all my life. If things continue to go as well as they have been so far, -- I would be thrilled if by this time next year we were planning the wedding. But again that is a big "if" and depends on a lot of other things. I'm just saying, hypothetically speaking, that I would have no problem with things moving at that pace.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Honestly, if saying 'I love you' hurts a relationship after you've been together for several months, the relationship probably wasn't the greatest anyway.

[citymouse]

Honestly, if saying 'I love you' hurts a relationship after you've been together for several months, the relationship probably wasn't the greatest anyway.

 

I agree with this.