Am i depressed :confused:

[Tony01]

i just want to know what people think if this is depression or not?

 

so basically now and agian i feel really sad but also happy because i think i finally truned a coner in my life because ive recently got over a girl i had a crush on but it makes me sad because i have never had a girlfriend and always wanted one just to talk to about stuff or even just to cuddle and the fact that anytime ive asked a girl i always get rejected or they say they just wanna be freinds

 

I think i might be depressed on this because people say if you are depressed you often feel sad and hopeless which i do quite often during the day. last week i also burnt my arm im not sure why if it was because i was sad or just wanted some sort of attention but i never told anyone about it. only the doctor because i had to go to the hospital about it it bandage now and i try my best to hide it because i dont want my parents to get involved

 

so any type of suggestion would be great

 

thanks

[minou]

Sounds like it to me. Best thing to do is get a professional opinion. Short-term treatment can help you get through a hump. It is nothing to be embarrassed about. many people deal with this.

[Tony01]

is there a way of doing it secretly by going to a therapist because i really dont want people to think im some sort of nut job or something

[ToF]

Hi Tony,

 

Well, I don't think there's a way of doing that 'secretly' unless you have your own medical insurance. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeing a professional if you think there is something wrong with the way you are feeling. Especially since you injured yourself.

 

You went to the doctor after you burned your arm. You did this because you knew you needed the help of a doctor to get better. Depression is nothing different.

[Tony01]

is there a way of not going then because i hate it when people stare and were i live everythings spreads like wildfire and i dont want that to happen i am very parnoid so it might just be me but i dont think so

[ToF]

Do you think there is a way of not going?

 

Honestly, it's up to you. If your fear of people finding out is that strong, then don't go. But if you really want to find out what is wrong and possibly feel a lot better, then go.

 

I have a feeling people will care a lot less then you might think. But then again, I don't live in your town so I could be wrong. But people 'staring at you' is not a reason to keep from seeing a doctor.

[Tony01]

i dont think so to your ist question

 

i live in a small town called portaferry which has about 1000 people living here everybody gossips about everything it really annoying i really wanna move but cant im only 17. and ive looked up the closet place for therapy and it 20 od miles away i dont have a job so money is a problem and i am at tec and failing messierbly because i really dont care atm

[ToF]

So do you not have the money to see a therapist?

 

I think people gossiping should be the least of your concerns. I know that's easier said than done, but come on now. You're depressed and you need to get better ... what does it matter who knows what?

[Tony01]

no not really i apply for ema which give me 60pounds every two weeks which only lasts me about 2 days because im learning to drive which is the thing i enjoy the most because it takes my mind of everthing.

 

It matters to me because im a shy and private person and if i do get through this i dont want people giving me weird looks as i walk by

 

i would talk to my mum and dad but they are really disappointed in me because ive felt like this for 3 years are so now but its only started to get worse but also better

 

worse because iv failed all my GCSE only past 1 and have a crimanil record for theft i dont know why i done it but i did them two are why my mum and dad are disapointed at me which makes me cry because i wanna do good but i just cant do anything i enjoy that much and recently my older brother said i was the bad egg of the family as a joke but it hurt me inside aswell im actually crying right now because of thinking about it.

 

Better because ive talked to you the past two days and it has helped me like yesterday about that girl i honestly did not think about her much today and i believe i need to thank you for that

 

thanks

[ToF]

Don't worry about it; you don't need to thank me for anything.

 

I'm glad you like learning how to drive, it's a fun experience and once you have your license you'll feel accomplished. I know I did

 

What do you think your parents' reactions would be if you were to tell them you've been feeling depressed lately? Just imagine the conversation. What would they say?

 

All that stuff from your past would make just about anyone feel depressed or like a "loser", of sorts. I think you have a lot you need to work through and heal from, but it's nothing that time and effort can't fix.

 

Don't listen to your older brother. Just don't. Instead, prove him wrong by doing something with your life.

 

I'm glad you haven't thought about her I'm sure that makes you feel a little less down.

[Tony01]

I have a lesson on wednesday so loooking forward to it thats what i think about if i feel down or am by myself.

 

my dad would probly think im joking because i do that alot with him to put on a brave face and my mum is usualy out our when she is home drunk till she cant stand and falls asleep on the couch.

 

not thinking about her does both for me really sadness and happeness because i really like her i talk her and all and dont think there is any other girl ive met like her which is why im sad and i feel happy because i wanna move on but at the same time dont want to but i know it is best to move on

[ToF]

I'm sorry about your mom. I know how that feels

 

Well, if I were you I would talk to someone, and I would start with my parents. Or at least you can try talking to your dad, and just make sure you let him know that you are being serious and that you are concerned about your future.

 

Is there a way you could get a job, go to school, or do anything of that nature?

[Tony01]

ill try with my dad

 

im currently at college studying IT but im gonna fail it aswell because i dont like it at 1st i did but i dont know what has changed

 

and all the jobs are up the road and i have no way of getting to them because of were i live it is a hole

[ToF]

Maybe you should consider a different field of study? One that interests you more? If you don't like what you're studying, then you are not likely to do as well in it.

 

Finding something you really like or are interested in at school might really help with your mood. It will give you goals and a sense of purpose/accomplishment.

[Tony01]

ive considered other options but im still not sure what i want to be when im older thats y i went with IT because everthing has computers. but i think i might try for mechanic because i love cars and drawing so i could maybe go into the mechainly part for practical perposes or the graphics part because it the GCSE that i passed

 

the onlt thing is the year is almost out and dosent start until september so i will have nothing to do in the summer no job which means no money so i cant go out to clubs are stuff and im scared because of that because of all the time i have with nothing to do i think about things way to much and im scared if all of this will cath up on me and in the end get the better of me

[ToF]

Well you have an idea right there, so you should do some research into those two things you mentioned.

 

As far as the summer goes, can you take summer classes? That's what I'm doing all summer long. Try to find some way to get a job if you can. Maybe you can use public transportation or carpool with someone. If not, you need to start looking for something to do this summer NOW.

[Tony01]

im not sure on the summer classes but i will look it up thats actualy a really good idead thank you.

 

as far as transport goes im not sure public transport costs loads i could try my brother for a lift but his working hours are very weird he works 3 days in the morning 8 till 8 at night then he has 2 days of then he is back in workin 8 at night till 8 in the moring so i coulnt rely on him

[ToF]

Summer classes are a very good idea, especially if you decide to change your studies over to something else. Remember to look into those mechanical jobs you were thinking about.

 

It sounds like you could definitely get to work if you had a job. It won't be super easy, but you could make it work. The thing with public transportation being expensive can be solved after your first paycheck

[Tony01]

i just looked there and they dont do summer classes

 

and as far as jobs go would you really want someone working for you with only 1 GCSE especially in the recission were people actualy have qulifications and arent getting jobs i dont mean to sound like i dont appreciate you helping me i really do your actualy the only person ive talked to about all of this

 

thanks

[ToF]

No worries, I'm just offering suggestions.

 

Well it's your life, and you need to either make it work or not. You will never find a job, get good grades, be happy again, unless you TRY, and it sounds like lately you've just been letting things fall by the wayside.

 

It's not the best market for jobs, I know. But you can't say it's impossible, especially since you're not out there looking lol.

[Tony01]

lol you are right about not looking but i just feel as if its hopeless

 

but i promise you i will try

[ToF]

Eh, the hopeless feeling is never a good one. But the only way to really get rid of it is to take control.

 

I'm glad you'll try. But do it for yourself