Having contact with ex after 8 months NC

[Anusha]

It has been 15 months since the break up and I went 8 and a half months NC with him.About 3 weeks ago I started having contact with him again trough chatts.We usualy chatt once a week.We didnt set any date or time for the chatts and basicaly just agreeded to get online when we fell like chatting.But the problem is that he is almost never online besides once a week while Im online quite often.I also cant stop wondering when we will chatt next and even get online a few times just to see if is there.Is like Im too atached to all that while he has a more carefree mentality about all that.I also wondered if the fact that he isnt online often can means that he isnt much interested on all that.Anyway I would like to know your opinions about that.

[Anusha]

Im felling pretty down about all that so any advice would be really apreciated.

[Anusha]

Please people help me out here

[Charis1978]

maybe he is just really busy but i would take it the same way as not interested. who initiated contact...maybe he just wants to take it slow bc he is guarding his feelings as well

[Anusha]

maybe he is just really busy but i would take it the same way as not interested. who initiated contact...maybe he just wants to take it slow bc he is guarding his feelings as well

 

I did.Actualy it was kind of natural I got online and a few minutes later he did but was me who started the conversation.I basicaly just said how are you?" and he followed from that.He was pretty talkative so it seemed to me that he was in the mood for it too.

 

I dont know why he is doing that.After our first chatt he said "I hope we can chatt again soon" but wasnt online much too.So I asked him when we got the chance to chatt again(about one week after the first one) if he said that just to be polite and he said no that he just isnt online often.But he talks about that as something that he can do nothing about and that isnt true.I mean is up to him how often he get online and he can change that and get online more often if he wants.

 

Anyway what about me being more into that than him? What you think I should do about this?

[bravebird]

Stop chatting online. I've gotten into similar situations...wondering, waiting for them to sign on again (because they would sign on if they thought you'd be on there, right?) If he really wants to talk to you he'll call.

[Anusha]

Stop chatting online. I've gotten into similar situations...wondering, waiting for them to sign on again (because they would sign on if they thought you'd be on there, right?) If he really wants to talk to you he'll call.

 

I know what you mean.I wanted to let it casual and not force anything that is why I didnt set anything but is driving me crazy not knowing when we will chatt next or geting online without even knowing when/if he will show up.Last week for example I got online on Monday,Wednesday,Friday and Sunday and we just end up chatting on Friday.

[Charis1978]

I dont know you but you probably deserve someone that shows more interest in you and doesn't make you question things.

[Stella Sleepwalks]

You have entered the danger-zone which is LC.

 

Unless the talk is specifically around getting back together, then re-enter NC again. You will only stump your healing and become utterly miserable.

 

Trust me. Been there. Done it. Broke my heart into a million pieces.

[jbrooklyn]

it is very obvious to me that you are not ready to be talking to him cause of how you are acting now over a chatt. he hasnt even called you and you are getting down about this. You know what I mean? A chat is nothing to him most likely.

 

I think you need to go back to working on detaching yourself from him cause you are not ready to be in friend or anything right now. It not time.

[Anusha]

it is very obvious to me that you are not ready to be talking to him cause of how you are acting now over a chatt. he hasnt even called you and you are getting down about this. You know what I mean? A chat is nothing to him most likely.

 

I think you need to go back to working on detaching yourself from him cause you are not ready to be in friend or anything right now. It not time.

 

Yeah I know what you mean.I think too that my reaction to all that was too strong but I just cant seem to control it.I caught myself always wondering "When we will chatt next? I wonder if he is online today" and like I said before I get online often just to see if he is on.And I dont think that for him is the same,he seems to have a much more casual behaviour about that.Sometimes I even wonder if it is my reaction that is the problem here.And ok sure it bothers me that he isnt online often and of course I wish he was but maybe that is just how it suposed to be.We arent together and we just started having contact again so maybe is normal to not be much often and casual.

[jbrooklyn]

Yeah I know what you mean.I think too that my reaction to all that was too strong but I just cant seem to control it.I caught myself always wondering "When we will chatt next? I wonder if he is online today" and like I said before I get online often just to see if he is on.And I dont think that for him is the same,he seems to have a much more casual behaviour about that.Sometimes I even wonder if it is my reaction that is the problem here.And ok sure it bothers me that he isnt online often and of course I wish he was but maybe that is just how it suposed to be.We arent together and we just started having contact again so maybe is normal to not be much often and casual.

 

I just think you need to go ahead and pull back. This is a indication of how far along you really are. I put myself out there thinking i was ready but I really wasnt and I really really really fked up any chances of reconcilation. Do yourself a favor and pull back and get better and stronger